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I wonder
how many words
have sat on the tip
of your tongue,
waiting to take the plunge
into the world outside,
but have held back
in fear of the fall-

and I wonder
how different your life would be
had those words been set free.
 Nov 2014 eliza bonnet
It’s not easy when I was five
It’s not easy to grasp everything
Learning these new ‘signs’
So others would empathize
Demoralized only to be scrutinized
Wondering why they always laughed
I never knew how it sounds like
But it hurts me deep inside

It’s not easy when I was ten
They wrote on the board
How I always pretend
I keep smiling despite everything
I did pretend
Pretending tomorrow
Everything will end

It’s not easy when I was fifteen
Almost everyone doesn't comprehend
These hands I use to eat & speak
I can read their lips saying,
But this time I didn't pretend
Mama always told me before she left
"Your voice is louder than the rest!"

It’s easier now that I’m twenty
It actually gets better if I believe
I found true friends along the way
They get furious if I get played
Diminishing negative thoughts to dust
I know now life has its eminence
There are more others like me

What my mama meant before she left
Help those who are in need
Especially to those who are-
*Special like me.
(I didnt expect it to get featured as the daily poem! I'm so happy I get to share this message with everyone. A better understanding to these gifted individuals:) And if u have a friend who's deaf or learning ASL. Let them read this:)
And once again. Thank you so much To everyone who liked and comment!)
Give your love.
Even if you're the one being received.
I just had to write about this.
And i don't see it as a disability,
I see it as a gift.
(Dedicated to this young girl i saw in the train helping a guy in a wheelchair. She was showing directions! I stood there appalled in awe)
P.S: I need a suggestion whether to name this title 'Gift' or 'Hand Signs'??
I think both stood out.
Comment below.
And I also would like you guys to check out this website.
If you buy their headphones you would be giving hearing aids for the   less fortunate.
And I'm not sponsored to do this. I just want to make a change and help to raise awareness:)
If you can help them, please do.:)
 Sep 2014 eliza bonnet
As we sat on your couch
Early in the morning
Sun shining through the windows
Cold air creeping in
My head started to spin

You set your alarm
Hockey was waiting
Your favorite thing

I kept you next to me
For just a little bit longer
But you eventually walked downstairs
And left me to sleep

As tired as I was
I could not sleep
Your voice echoing through the silent house
My mind and heart racing
Wanting to be with you

I gave in to your call
Tucked myself behind your legs
Watched you watch your lifelong dream

I didn't expect anything
Except to be ignored
Or meerly unnoticed
For I was just a girl in your house
Not a hero on ice

You wrapped your fingers around mine
I felt your stare
Your lips pressed to my head
How did I deserve
To steal your attention?

Counting down the seconds on the screen
Time before I need to go
1:06, 1:05, 1:04
Is this what life with you is like?
What it would be if it were just us two?
0:31, 0:30, 0:29
I could stay here all day
Like you asked me to do
0:02, 0:01, 0:00
For the next few minutes
All you want is me

I tell you I need to leave
Right now? you ask
Right now. I say
You tell me I should stay

The stairs creak under my feet
The zipper on my boots resist
My fingers and the buttons fight

You stand for me
As I walk down the stairs
Morning-after royalty in the castle of her prince
Will you bow as I remove my crown?

You have never kissed me
As hard as you did
In that moment before I left

It felt as though
You were trying to shoot your soul
Through my lips instead of
Forcing your body around my tongue
So that I could only say your name

Goodbye, my seven hour valentine
The only one I've ever had
You asked at two in the morning
On February 15th
But I like to think it still counts
Here am I,
Lurking, waiting for you,
I see your face,
In every dream,
I almost love you,
Or so it seems.

I see you walk in,
And I take my chance,
I take you away,
So that we may dance,
I draw you in,
Among the stacks,
Take you so far,
that you won't come back.

With my temptress words,
I draw you in,
Because what I want,
Is lips on skin.
Slowly, sweetly,
You read me like a book,
And if you don't stop,
You'll be hooked.
White powder
its definitally not Flour

Clear bitter liquid
It's definitally not water

Needle after needle
Its definitally not a doctor's shot

All these addictions
All these Drugs
Swirlled around me

But I didnt touch them
I kept away
I had my own

Little White pills
they aren't my ADHD medicine

Swallow them
Snort them
Take me away

Blissful numbness
To zoned out to think
Perfect sanctuary

The high
I could Fly
I was invincible

The Crash
the reality came back
with a harsh flash

Needing more pills
to keep the high strong
More and more


They are gone
Leaving me to my own Devices

My stomach turns agaisnt its self
Can't keep anything down
Twisting painfulling in knots

A Cold sweat breaks
Shaking so hard
can't think straight

I need them
I need them
I need them

Pray for death
Pray for pills
Pray for this to end

I need them
I need them
I need them

"oh she has the flu"
Stupid doctor
what do you know?

can't you see
my desprete need
My need for those little white pills


Months go by
feels like eons
feels like I'm in hell

Without them I am plauged
by horror and pain
depression peaking

Slowly my body heals
My need dims
My need disapates

go by

Addiction no more
Dependent no more
Little pill free

But every now and then
I feel that itch
just below my skin

the itch for a pill
for the numbness it brings
Every now and then

No matter how sober
I will always be recovering

Because when you were addicted to pain meds
It's hard not to relapse
Yes I use to be addicted to Oxy when I was fourteen turning fifteen. I never told anyone. I never went to rehab, I was forsed into recovery when my friend whose pills I stole cut me out of his life becuase of his own additcion to Coke, Never knowing he was saving my life in the process. Hawk <3
My mother should be an author
She carves her soul into millions of pieces
Leaving it behind all of the family photos
When I see my mother
I see a woman
Who wants to hide her soul in a needle
Just so the screaming can stop in her mind,
These bottles are rattling in the living room
You see they have put shackles on her heart,
She can't love anymore
Without having ***** in her water bottle.

Where is she hiding her beer?
I feel like my mother is giving me a scavenger hunt
From the shards of glass that were left on the baseball fields
My mother used to take me to.

You know she always wasn't like this
She was strong minded and had a big heart
Tonight I will tell you the story of a woman
Who lost her soul to the Keystones to the Miller Lites
To the ****** Mary’s.
Let's rewind time
See ******* the soul in ten years

10- I look into my mother's eyes and I start to cry
Because I'm looking at a woman who I don't know anymore

9- I refused to bail her out of jail again
Because I'm afraid her kidney will fail if she drinks again

8- My mother staggered into the theater and disrupted the whole play,
My cast mates turned to me and asked, isn't that your mother?

7- I had to hold my mothers hand
Because she was throwing up the cocktail of drugs and alcohol

6- Daddy had to get mom out of jail she was drinking again

5- My mother throws the bottle across the room
And told me the reason why she drinks is because I'm Autistic

4- My mother overslept for my piano recital,
I didn't think it was a big deal
But I remember she spent the whole night crying
With a wine glass in her hand.

3- Mommy I didn't know your prescription came in a needle

2- Mommy the prescription say 2 pills a day
why are you taking 6?

1- My mother went to the doctor
Found out that she has Rheumatoid Arthritis
I don't know what that means,
But I know she will still be strong right?

0- She took me to a Dodger game for my birthday.
I remember Sammy Sosa hitting a home run that game
She told me that the only person that can **** your soul is yourself
Take my head to the pillow
Drown me in my sleep
She said
Grow me up
Grow me down
But blindfold yourself
Then look all around
The clock is reaching for me
Dragging me along
I feel so unsteady
She said
Please make me feel tall

So take me home
Unravel me, seep into my bones
Just smother me in time
Weave your words into mine
Hands soft spoken
she said
mind loud to the touch

Take your sorrows
and give it to my dreams
she said
please don't worry, even though i'm cracking at the seams
just give me your love and i'll give you mine
i'm breaking down, crumbling up
i thought i told you i was fine
she said
time is gone
lyrics to a song i'm working on
 Apr 2014 eliza bonnet
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