I can't lose her,
not this one,
not this time.
She is everything I've waited for,
she fits perfectly in my life.
I can't think of it,
I'm begging her not to hide,
she's making me lose my mind,
did I lose my mind?
Did I? No.
Did I? No.
Did I lose my mind? "NO."
I tell myself as I remember all
the times my grandpa said he
knew a shortcut and it took us
twice as long to get where we
were going.
I want her to meet him one day
just so I can turn to him and say,
"hey grandpa, this is my girlfriend."
And if he falls of his chair so be it,
cuz I know my grandma will be
looking down at me smiling,
happy to see just how happy she makes me.
My grandma she will never get to meet,
the one woman who was so important to me,
but she will know how much she meant,
she already knows, and she will find pieces
of her in every other person in my family,
she'll find in them just where I got my crazy.
I'll just have to remind her that no matter
how long it took us, my grandpa always
got us to our destination,
and I promise myself that her and I,
we will most definitely get to mine.
There is no doubt in my mind that she is
the one I want in my life.

I woke up wanting to kiss you...
oh wait, I never went to sleep,
and if you were missing me in your dreams
it's because you were walking on moonbeams with me.

You've not yet left my thoughts,
not once since the first time we spoke,
and that's no exaggeration, baby,
I would crack under the pressure of that tasteless joke.

But how can I sleep,
your name keeps ringing in my ears,
you're like one of those bees you want to swat away but you're too cute
and you help make the flowers grow so how the hell could I say 'no'?

These flowers that you planted in my chest
keep me rooted but my petals are always willing
to take flight on your flitting wings to new lands
because adventuring with you would be the best new beginning.

And at the end of the day we'd collapse into bed
and you'd whisper, 'buzz, buzz, buzz,' in my ear
right before you pull my lips to yours and kiss me
but there you go again drifting off to sleep.

When I look out
at the ocean
and see her light
glimmering off
it's blackened surface
I think to myself
how silly I was to
ever want to sink
into the darkness
and let my life escape.

Instead I should
drink each drop
so that her light
can flow through
my veins and
cleanse my heart;
I swear it beats
only for her, only for her.

And maybe then
she will see what
I've done and forgive
me for leaving her
and collide with the sun
so that both souls may
escape from the bodies
that have imprisoned
them and kept them
apart and that they may
finally find one another
and rest together selfishly
as the world is left in darkness
but their love forever glows.

Tonight I looked up
and searched for you in the sky
hoping to find you looking down on me
while you slept with sadness dancing behind your eyes.
Tonight I found you way up high
reflecting the sun's light into darkness
I found comfort watching you shine.
Tonight I saw each crater etched into your skin
you didn't try to hide them
you let all of my love in.
Tonight I faced my fears
and I let each one of them go
as your glowing surface uncovered my path
and I found my way home.

As I stand on the platform edge in the city where no one stops for anything,
I wonder if they would stop for me if I threw myself into the air,
bursting into a million pieces just as the train sped through,
making every single one of my dreams come true.

Would they stop and watch,
would they scream in fear,
would they stare in awe,
would they see me shine?

A million stars died to make me whole,
imagine what I could create as I let my soul escape,
as my remains fall softly to the faces of passerby's,
whether it be my own blood or their own tears,
that feeling, that emotion, the life, the death,
imagine the impact I could make,
imagine the life I could create.

*Walk in the way of my soft resurrection.

What am I feeling? I can't do this.
I can't.
Everyone is right. What am I doing?
I feel empty.

I won't be able to sleep tonight.

My black tulip kept me up all night.
     Her eyes were in the back of my head
     Her lips were on the tip of my tongue.
     If only she'd been in my bed, she'd know how much I'd hate to run.

I cut out my own heart
It's bleed...

My soul is on fire
my heart out of control
my bones ****** in the light
my skin's radiating the glow.