to. hounding happiness cutting.
finding you is being a smoking gun.
smiling stopping beginning
the show. cancel clear. all of it.
oh your hand in mine.
oh removing it.
vanishing. walking away.
heavy hand, a slight of mine.
and look, i am walking out. and look,
you are just beautiful like this.
look, when i saw you there.
i am going into my magic trick now
see how i am
hanging electrocuting executing it
perfect. yeah, it was good that time.
yeah, how are you feeling tonight?
you’re laughing and it’s all in your body.
your ******* and you’re all in his body.
i have a book of named things.
tell what is your favorite of mine.
i absolutely love this business of
feeling doing being alive
performing joking around
jerking driving crashing my cars.
it is causing me. i yank it out.
it is affecting me. i soak my skin in the red tub.
staying. waiting it out.
leech the poem
leech lover, leech sister, leech the color,
leech the razor, the less fortunate,
i leech the sight of
you, you, you and the place we are in. please, i’m begging, please-
absolve the praying and praying and eating and breaking and smiling, thinking. tapping the windowpane for dust but it’s the view
that i’ve been wanting and i found it and
i am leaving for it and i am a running wound or joke and i am
blotting the bed with bleeding and i am
sewing myself in place.
i have tried to walk and i am afraid, still,
i might become an unclothing of a human animal amassing
body to be shot at.
i look and i am prey.
i look and it’s
you again. bed head.
risen like a tree, armed to the teeth.
in my presence one more time
is a wholly new and wondrous
if i was no mute thing beside you, it would not go unsaid that
these are the losses i can abide by. that for your happiness, beloved,
i would huddle all my wounds
into a constellation
and darken the leaves to show you.
a poem for someone i love differently. i am still glad i know you.