every good boy leaves because in the end, i
am not what they wanted at all.

they wanted white-picket-fence springtime girls, who wear dresses and smile like innocence and blush when you hold their hand in public, shy.

not me. not rose-thorn walls and ****** teeth. not a girl who cusses and fights and claws at anything that lashes out at her. not a girl who won't let them fight her battles and stands on her own, lacing her fingers with yours because you are hers and she will fight tooth-and-nail for you, and she wants everyone to see that.

they want someone they can settle down with and have a nice, cute house and a pretty cherry tree and pretty little kids and have homemade breakfasts and listen to the birds sing in the morning.

they do not want a girl who sleeps till noon and drags them off on wild adventures and wants to go everywhere. who hates the shrill chirping of birds and uses black curtains to hide from the sunlight daring to slide through her windows. Who can't cook to save her life and holds on far too tight.

no, i am not what you wanted. but i can't be anyone else.

My new favorite poet is a fifteen year old girl.
Margaret is clever it's astounding.
I knew youth was coming like this but usually when I saw it up close they we're just these maniacal computer wiz kids but this girl seems to party.
I hope she meets Alex Turner someday.
I hope she meets Andrew VanWyngarden too.
I don't know why, but I guess it's because they're dashing and she deserves the best.
I hope the world don't tangle her up too much and don't sit on her like a fat bully.
I know she can dodge it though and we need her and her vision of peace like a checkpoint.
My favorite new poet is a fifteen year old girl.
Shine on Margaret, light up the world.

My mind was corrupted with traces of your smile, each grin cuts like knives because you'll never smile for me.

They're going to tell you to not get involved,
they're gonna say it's not your place,
but when you know something is right,
you're going to fight for it with all your might.
No matter what happens,
no matter what they say,
you're going to stick up for what's right
and Fight Fight Fight

-cc

For you I was a chapter
A part of your life so brief,
You had no idea you stole
My heart so quickly like a thief

For me you were the book
I kept turning page by page
Never even imagining
By the end you’d disengage

Each sentence I read was delicate
Like a sweet melody of words
You and I were free to fly
As free as two blue birds

I thought the book would
Never end, and go on forever
But you shut the book tightly
And now my heart is severed.

You left me all alone
With just the pages to mend
Together my broken heart
Why oh why did it have to end?

i am resilient and beautiful
i wonder why my peers are all so twisted
i hear the irrelevant chatter around me
i see shallow minds and cold hearts
i want to reach out. i want change.
i am resilient and beautiful
i pretend to be confident and sane
i feel as though i’m broken
i touch those i love, yet they are slipping away



i worry that i’m lost, confused, stranded
i cry for attention and stability
i am resilient and beautiful
i understand that the water can be rough
i say that diamonds only come from under pressure



i dream of an unknown happiness
i try to show strength and perseverance
i hope to find what i’ve been longing for
i am jenna leanne.