Do you think I’m crazy?

The feeling of my hand around my neck is so familiar to me
Like a mother’s touch

-
My nails scratch the surface of my tight skin
And they move back and forth, pacing gently
They wait so patiently

Truthfully I feel like putting a bullet through my expired mind
Like cutting a maxed out credit card in half
Or throwing out a chipped glass, because how could you keep one? It’s going to hurt you, make you bleed and just be useless

-
I don’t even bleed deliciously anymore
Even the pain isn’t enough
It just isn’t enough for me anymore
-

If I felt empty before then my present state is not even describable

-

Why live if you can no longer tap into your soul?
Why suffer through the days in the empty vessel of our bodies if your substance is no where to be found?
-

Maybe I’m just incapable of it now
Definitely
Maybe

Getting full on emptiness and getting high off my pain

Can anyone hear me? Does anyone see me?

I have so many thoughts but sadly I have nothing to say anymore
I am mute and numb
Yet I still feel

-

Regretfully I still feel

In the leaking sieve of our bodies,
we carry the blood of our love