Edna Sweetlove

Edna Sweetlove Feb 2016

My dear old Granny,
How I shall miss her
What a tragedy.

She crossed over the road
To avoid walking under a ladder,
Being of a somewhat superstitous bent.

Thus she got squashed by a bus,
Like a plump ripe tomato
In spaghetti alla vongole.

So no more shall I have to suffer
Her slipping me the tongue
When I kiss her good night.

But the stench of her filthy farts
Will always remain with me
As will the cushion stains.

Edna Sweetlove Feb 2016

Liverpool Life

My sister boasted to me one night in a Liverpool pub
She had *** with a couple of coppers down the Mersey Tunnel.
'You're nothing bit a fat slapper' I scolded her,
As she examined the selfie I had taken
Just a few moments earlier of me
And her best friend up against the ladies' bog door.
"Good likeness, innit?" I commented and the
She farted stentoriously in surprise and,
The follow-through oozed down her dimpled thigh.

#adult #naughtiness

Edna Sweetlove Jan 2016

Soho Love Scene

Night falls over Soho and, gazing into some cheap ****'s eyes
Over a candelit-chequered-food-stained tablecloth,
Beneath my belt an immense ******* lurks leakily,
The seams of my ****** soaked with bursting lust,
My groin twitching in desire for her wanton ****-flesh.

Streetlight shining through threadbare curtains
Glinting sexily over my hairy pounding buttocks;
My screamed roars of pleasure echoing
In the deepest depths of her tenth-rate mind;
Her poor brain collapsing in mighty mid-******.

Morning reveals a classy scene to chambermaid's gawp:
Spread-legged cold-as-chilled-salami ****,
Puny brainbox imploded like mashed bananas
By staggering rivulets of overpowering *******
Like a duck's entrails in an unwashed sink.

#love #****** #tasty

Jan 2016

David Ehrgott

Father And Son In America

I'm proud of my father
Who fought in World War II
He helped save the world
And the red, white, and blue
He brought me up with sternness
Kindness and understanding
And now I see the rules he had
Were there for my good standing
He is an American, true and blue
Looking back when I was a teen
In the nineteen seventies
I rebelled against war
And fought for the causes
Which I believed would change the world
For the better, not the better off
So, when my father put me down
I had to turn and look at him
And say the only reason that
I do these things is because
I am an American

Edna Sweetlove Jan 2016

Fun At The Morgue

We had a really fat bird in the morgue last week;
We had to put two tables together
Just to accommodate her bloated mass
And the funeral director said
She'd need a specially reinforced coffin
And a flatbed truck instead of a hearse.

By the way, I think I should debunk
That legend about fat chicks appreciating it more;
She just lay there, like all of the others,
No sign of gratitude what-so-*******-ever.

#explicit

Edna Sweetlove Jan 2016

Thumbs and Bums

Stick your thumb
Up your ***.
When it's brown,
Pull it down.
Show it all
Around the town.

#bums

Edna Sweetlove Jan 2016

Memories of the "City" of Edna in Texas

O Sweet Edna, how can I forget thee!
So beautifully named after the daughter of Count Telfener,
Promoter of the Macaroni railroad,
Home of the monumental Edna Theater (SEE NOTE # BELOW).

I recall a chilly Christmas spent there:
Unfortunately Edna was closed for the day
But I met a nice girl in the one bar that was open
And for only twenty five bucks she went all the way.

By purest chance her name was Edna too,
And she gave me a real Christmas treat;
I could so easily have fallen for her bigtime
Had it not been for the smell of her size twelve feet.

O how your architectural marvels will live in my memory
Dear principal "city" of Jackson County, O Edna divine!
Home to six thousand Texan souls
Of whom only one in five lives below the poverty line.

NOTE:-

(#) Actually a cinema and disused anyway. Paste this link for a photo: http://media1.picsearch.com/is?hWN6taRELewhHHMx-FMVpQOXSK4aNdmtABXGB-ZxEyA&height;=257 (if it doesn't work, don't blame me).

This is written as a tribute to the so-called "city" of Edna, into which I stumbled one chilly Christmas Eve.  The City of Edna is rightly proud of two of its illustrious sons and daughters: "Stone Cold" Steve Austin (professional wrestler) and Juanita Slusher (alias Candy Barr), the famous American burlesque dancer, adult magazine model and stripper.

Mr Austin perfected his trademark finishing maneuvre, the Stone Cold Stunner, to win the "King of the Ring" tournament in 1996. After defeating Jake "The Snake" Roberts, a born-again Christian, Stone Cold  said "You sit there and you thump your Bible, and you say your prayers, and it didn't get you anywhere! Talk about your Psalms, talk about John 3:16... Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your ***!".

During the 1950s Candy received nationwide attention for her stripping career in Dallas, Los Angeles, and Las Vegas and for her troubles with the law (including shooting her second husband; and for serving three years in jail for drug possession). In the early 1980s, Candy was presciently acknowledged in the magazine Texas Monthly as a "perfect Texan".

I was lucky only to meet Fat Edna.

As a hint of the high standards you may expect when you visit Edna, here's a review of a "hotel" from TripAdvisor.com...
"When the door was unlocked to our room, I was appalled by the infestation of insects. The were on every surface, including the ceiling, walls, floors, bathroom and tub. The furnishings were vintage 1960s, broken and filthy. There were cobwebs and food cooked unto the microwave. The owner tried to accomodate us by showing us other rooms. All were equally infested and had the same horrid furnishings."

Choice, totally choice..

#**** #texas #edna