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Feb 22 · 187
Shades of Blue
Kim Feb 22
Tried to make a rhyming song
Tried again to play along
Tried and tested it is true
The purest rhymes are shades of blue

I write a word and strum a note
This jukebox is a little broke
Push these buttons play and pause
Pick your song and cue applause

I’ve been trying - pushing hard
To keep from throwing in the towel
Play it straight your aim is true
Lyrics trite and auto-tuned
But through the cheers and all the smiles
All I see are lying eyes
Tried to believe – they said it was true
They said this was all the music they knew
They didn’t care for harsh striking tones
Don’t ring that bell so close to home

But now I’m humming a melody
It’s clear and rings out perfectly
It’s about this life and race
It stands alone no second takes
It knows when to start and swing along
It sounds just like your favourite song
It beats in time with my heart
It’s been here right from the start

Yes – I tried to make a rhyming song
I tried again to play along
But it couldn’t pass the test
And my soul would not rest
Yes – tried and tested – it is true
The purest rhymes are shades of blue…
Dec 2018 · 465
Naïve or Numb?
Kim Dec 2018
I was never able to put my finger on it before,
but I think it's that I see
new and different situations and experiences  
as new, and different..

Many people seem to know or expect what's going to happen,
from the start..
Guided by past patterns and experiences
But I don't think that way
I take people at face value (at first)
Give them the benefit of the doubt
Wait for them to show me who they are
I don't expect things to turn out a certain way
I wait to see how they turn out

I don't know if that's naive..or optimistic..
I just know that the alternative is awfully lowering
I find myself veering in that direction sometimes;
I suppose that's what life does to you
But I truly hope that that doesn't become my default -
For now at least, I think I'd rather be naive than numb...
Just some self reflection and hope for the new year

Merry Christmas / Happy Holidays / Compliments of the season  ! =)
Kim Dec 2018
Not those who don't write poetry themselves
But those whose souls aren't stirred by
The pleasant and slightly unsettling fragrance of fresh earth
The cold enveloping light of the moon
The delicious warmth of a light breeze on a hot summer's day

And when I say stirred I don't just mean any passing feeling
I mean that joyful painful yearning from the bottom of your soul that spreads through your whole being and consumes you for that moment however brief - of spiritual bliss, if you will.

And when it passes, you are not the same you from a few seconds or minutes ago

You are the earth,
the moon, the breeze
The pain, the joy
The moment.
Do you ever feel that the others can never really see or feel you the way an artist can?
Sep 2018 · 558
To be continued...
Kim Sep 2018
Anyone can rhyme
Or hum a melody
But to lay your guts out on the table
For everyone to see
That’s what art is
That’s the soul
That's hunger, pain, and glory
As the artist tells their story
That’s living your truth
And telling it straight
It’s what sets some apart
The secret of the greats
Stop fumbling with that metre
Don’t fret over the rhyme
Pour your soul onto the paper
Pull the tears from our eyes
Aug 2018 · 472
Wealth
Kim Aug 2018
Maybe some day I'll be rich
Until then I'll settle for being happy!
;)
Kim Mar 2018
A work of art I must produce
One eye on the clock
and one on the muse
I sit here waiting
and watching time
Slip quietly by
with hardly a chime

With her she takes
my thoughts and expressions
Clears out my head
no trace of compassion

Beggared and blighted
An innocent fool
A would be poet
stripped of her tools

I'm sure I should be grateful
for peace and quiet aplenty
but can't help being  resentful
at the cost of poetic currency
:/
Feb 2018 · 657
Impermanence
Kim Feb 2018
The passing of a moment
Blink
Think
Write
Each moment as it passes
Realtime
Doesn’t get more real than this
To be aware of the moment, as it passes by
To acknowledge it, and nod it on its way
Without grabbing at it, desperately
Without chasing after it, for that long goodbye
Just pause and smile hello  
– it was nice to see you again!
Time flows on, like a river
And it’s fun to raft through the rapids
But every now and again, you need to sit still
Let the water wash over you
No fighting or negotiating
Just enjoying the privilege of being alive!
The idea of time flowing like water and the similarities of their effects on us, have always struck a chord with me; I've had the pleasure of reading several poems here on hp that use that idea so well, including 'Passing by...' by bones https://hellopoetry.com/poem/1489192/passing-by/
which is such a great piece!
Jun 2017 · 829
Imitation Life
Kim Jun 2017
Curtains up, lights and sparks
Golden tickets, rising stars
Race to the finish, flashing lights
Adrenaline rush, crazy nights
End of the stanza, quick pitstop
Let's start again take it from the top

Road to addiction
Highway to hell
Lined with paparazzi
Celebrity's spell

Life in the fast lane
Whichever the race
Chemical crutches
To keep the pace

Stay behind to catch
When the curtain's down
And the makeup off
Tears of the clown

Tragic comedy
This business we've made
Putting the perfect picture
On endless parade

Life imitates art
Art imitates life
And the life of the artiste
Burns out in the fight
So many people get caught up in the whirlwind of fame and doing what it takes to stay in the spotlight..and they pay a heavy price for it..
May 2017 · 585
Rainbows in Puddles
Kim May 2017
I want to paint the colours of the rainbow on everything I see
I want to splash the light frothy foam of my less-than-awesome cappuccino onto this page
I want these black, white, and grey squiggly lines to capture the moments that make my days

All the heavy thoughts and deep emotion poured out and catalogued through the ages
The stories of our greatest, deepest, and weakest selves
The highs, the lows, the darkest, the brightest times
Odes to lost love, songs of beauty,
Essays on the human condition -
All worthy subjects for immortalization

But I'd like to save a little corner of the page for -
My daily fights with that abrasive flaming-red outdated alarm clock
The late afternoon sun filtering through the slats on the early twentieth-century windows in the stairwell of my office building
The discarded spider web hanging forlornly from the hardback Oxford dictionary in the bottommost corner of my bookshelf
The rusted signage on the dilapidated building on the corner, that was once a hub of commerce in this ever changing, ever constant, city by the sea
One of these days what was by the sea may become​ part of it;

I want to remember what once was -
Not because of its aspirations to grandeur, or the many, varied battles fought over it;
It is not always attractive or easy to love, it is often old, tired, confused, even ******, in the evening lights that misunderstand its cracks and crevices
But it has stood here, and drowned here in the deluge of hungry people and high tides and poor drainage and unrepentant rains and it has survived and thrived and been home to so many millions and saviour to so many more
And I am loath to let its inheritance fade and fall into the abyss of forgotten things..
Jan 2017 · 10.3k
Captured Moments
Kim Jan 2017
Hazy outlines familiar faces
Echoes of familiar places
Captured moments long forgotten
Honesty in words unspoken
A fleeting smile unguarded eyes
Truth beneath the surface lies
Pause a moment the masquerade
Telling postures now displayed
Rueful smiles and tired eyes
A warm glance melts a mask of ice
And as the frame fades away
Smoke and mirrors back into play
I'm quite a fan of candid photography
It is an art that is underrated in my opinion
I have had the privilege of taking some beautiful, albeit inexpert, candid shots of my friends and family from time to time -
And shall continue to do so whenever I have the opportunity!

(Edited "breaks through" to melts - credit to Phil Lindsey for the suggestion)
Jan 2017 · 962
Dance until Dawn
Kim Jan 2017
And when I can't think straight
And the day is growing late
I can't take a chance
I just let it go and dance!

And when the heart grows cold
Ah the dreams of old
All the hopes and aims
Now just a waiting game

Now the words flow fast
Emotions don't last
A song of fleeting desire
Lifts the spirit higher

But as the night winds blow
And they're wrapping up the show
Still I raise my weary hands
I let it go and dance..!
Why walk when you can dance!
(I'm not a very good dancer..but then again I'm not a very good writer either..And since when does that stop me! Haha!)
Jan 2017 · 884
Silent Pages
Kim Jan 2017
I know I'm not much of a poet
Don't really fancy myself a writer
But when the chips are down
And you're all alone on an island
At least it's better to write
Than to suffer in silence

It's funny how,
Simple words on a page
Can bring you comfort,
Break you out of your cage

Ah the cage of silence
Silent rage
Rage born of hurt
Hurt born of haste

Streams of thought
Turn air to water
Gushing onward
Reason slaughtered
Ruthless emotions
******* the mind
Leaving all hope
And happiness behind..
I suppose as they say
Careful with haste,
Which as we've all come to know
Too often ends in waste!
Mar 2016 · 1.4k
Divisive Doodling
Kim Mar 2016
Happy Easter everyone!
Yes even all you lovely folk at Google!
Thanks for the doodle (not)
Thanks for being so selectively inclusive-
So open minded and transparent!
Indeed it is a small gesture of bad faith (pardon the pun),
but no less unpleasant for it

I'm so sorry to have to point out to you that you will fail in this ignoble endeavour
Just like so many before you have failed
Just like all campaigns must fail when their core principles are hostility, arrogance, and the increasingly popular brand of cold warfare- selective inclusion

You see the answer to the problems of our world
(yes OUR world, not mine or yours or theirs, but ours):
Is not more war- be it physical or virtual;
It is not more discrimination- be it active or passive; and
It is not to champion only one or a few sections of society- whether by actual good work or mere lip service such as 'doodles'
Putting down the one in a misguided (& half-hearted) attempt to uplift the other is a fool's errand and a dishonourable one at that

You see we have enough division in this world
We have seen enough war and exclusion
Even now there are more than enough cowardly and insidious actors spreading fear, violence and petty resentment through the internet and all your spectacular technology

And what is it worth- this power you have over the www?
And all the information you insidiously and yet blatantly, collect about the hapless user?
What is all that knowledge worth if it does not awaken you to the great struggle of our time?

The struggle to overcome:
Our differences- real and perceived
Our fear of the unfamiliar
Our collective tradition of violence
Our joint heritage of injustice
Our long long history of 'my way or the highway!'

Please grow up, think bigger, be better
It is not your prerogative to impose your limited beliefs on the world
It is your duty to improve yourselves and those around you
As we've heard it said so many times:
With great power, comes great responsibility..
In this age of information, you and your ilk weild an unprecedented and unquantifiable range and depth of power
Do not squander it, or you will certainly fail and fall like all those wannabe superpowers before you!
Dear Google,

Please also refer to my little poem- 'Cookie-Cutter Conquerors', may it serve as a cautionary tale! ;)

Yours in Humanity,

Kim
Kim Mar 2016
I do not aspire to fame, riches, accolades, or admiration
I do aspire to independence- as much as one can hope for in this life
I aspire to live freely- as free as one can hope to be in this world
I aspire to be close to those I love- and to be loved by them
I aspire to the creature comforts- that serve as palliatives in this meandering, reluctant, and some ways rewarding march to the grave
...Most of all I wish for this world to be enveloped either by the bliss of complete ignorance or the calm of complete understanding so that turmoil may never again disrupt the potentially peaceful humdrum of twenty-first century existence:

For,
I do not know why we are here or what we are meant to do now that we are
I do not know where here is or where it will be when our star is no more
I do not know where all this came from or where it will go
I do not hope to understand the sufferings of this world or the purpose of a world without any
I cannot imagine what form perfection takes and whether an imperfect being can ever comprehend it
I have tasked my conscious mind with unravelling the conundrum of time- but was constrained to give up in the face of the tick-tick-ticking echoing off the walls
I open my eyes and am glad to perceive the beauty of the sunrise and sunset and everything in between
And I wonder if it is merely a View-Master playing over and over in my head
I look up at the sky and yearn to dive into it and I feel the same when I look at the water from above
And as I gaze out toward the horizon I am reminded for a moment that I must exist in the space between the two- except that there can be none
And so here I am suspended between the earth and the sky, not knowing to which I belong
And longing always, to reach out and touch the stars, those cold indifferent witnesses to our humble existence...
And so on and so on and so on...
Nov 2015 · 1.6k
Rules of Existence
Kim Nov 2015
I feel like I've lived a hundred different lives before..like I know these people..
I know their thoughts and insecurities
I understand their hopes and fears
I feel like we have known each other before if only for a moment..and our souls remember this even if our minds don't..
Like all this turmoil that surrounds us has been churning on from the beginning of time and yet does not exist at any given moment..like how in a moment of pure joy or pure anguish nothing else exists..
Like all the rules we create and worship are just so we can forget the sensation that none of this matters and that we still have a long way to go on the path to enlightenment..a journey that each of us must make whether or not we wish to acknowledge it..
It's like a person stranded all alone on an island will shout out to the heavens and the earth around them and to all the certainties they've ever clung to, until they can no longer drown out the silence..
The silence that allows the mind and heart and soul to communicate..and to speak the truths that we've been trying to ignore..
There are no rules to this existence..there just is..
Nov 2015 · 1.2k
Cookie-Cutter Conquerors
Kim Nov 2015
The tiger hunts, the sheep bleats
The eagle soars, the bear sleeps
Only one imperfection
One blot on this earth
Only one mistake
In this chaotic universe
The biped that thought
I’m special, they are naught
I will chase them and herd them
I will cow them and hurt them
I will conquer their will
As I sit atop my hill
All that I see is mine
My power is divine

Indeed power is divine
And rather above the touch
Of the lowly biped,
Slave to ego, its crutch
Time cycles around
The circle of life
Each fool with a title
Sits pretty for a while
On a mountain of bones,
Bloodshed, false pride
I’ve won, I’ve crushed them
Look how they run and hide

Oh dear! Don’t you see,
You pathetic little fool
One of these days your
Boomerang will find you
Your house of cards is swaying
The hounds of hate are baying
Your great successor has arrived
Same delusions, different stripes!
When will people surrender their grandiose delusions for a better, larger, more positive way of life? How foolhardy to think that any one of us can conquer the earth..or control how other people live..and how small minded and poor spirited that anyone should wish to..!
Nov 2015 · 2.0k
(Hard)Hearts & (Meagre)Minds
Kim Nov 2015
A tragic tradition from times long past
Weak of wit and hard of heart
Thus pawns are born and
Circumstance plays its part

Here we stand again, aghast
Alas what evil has come to pass!
Questions burn, anger rises
Vengeance brews on the horizon

The world has turned for years and years
On violence and wars, and bitter tears
You build they break, you smile they’re fake
Injustice reigns in misfortune’s wake
Struggle for some, victory for others
Caps are waved with fair-weather feathers

Who are they, who are we
Who is safe, who is free
Where is the heart that knows no fear
Where is the mind that’s always clear

An ephemeral world, a passing phase
The old, the new
The false, the true
A blink of an eye in eternity’s gaze

Yet weak minded malignancies
Must ply their trade of misery
Dispensed with as garbage in this life
****** as bartered souls in the next
Fate’s hand is heavy and dark is the night
For the vicious heart and feeble intellect.
Nov 2015 · 840
...or Staying Under (II)
Kim Nov 2015
Clear skies,
dark nights,
heavy fog,
searchlights..
Strong waves,
harsh winds
howling from
deep within..

Running scared,
casting about
which way's up,
which is down

Time is up
or standing still
All the same
on a treadmill..
Nov 2015 · 578
Breaking the Surface... (I)
Kim Nov 2015
Crystal clear water and peaceful clouds
Fog, rippled surface, distant howls
Thrashing through the underbrush,
Heading for the hills,
Shortcut through the woods,
It's evening still

Searchlight burns bright, swivels frantically now
The murky night sky, merged with the ground
It's hard to remember those menacing howls
Wherever they came from, must be gone now
But the fog hangs low, water murky as ever
Starlight absconding, dark skies cast a shadow

Which way is up, which way is down,
Buffeted, can't get your feet on the ground
It's time to start swimming
If you don't want to drown
Look up, toward the surface
See it shimmering now...
Nov 2015 · 548
Yellow Roses
Kim Nov 2015
Yellow roses in my hair
fragrant balmy ocean air
all those things that I have loved
don't make sense nor fit the glove
black is black and black and white
grey the skies that light my night
drowning slowly bubbling in
showers of rainbows choral hymns
rising swiftly with the tide
washing in now clear and bright
sandstone valleys mountain air
Dewdrops twinkling in my hair..
Kim Nov 2015
Seeing the warmth fade slowly but surely
from the eyes of someone who once cared about you,
someone whose opinion mattered,
someone you cared not to disappoint...
When you see that mixture of disappointment and indifference,
where the one is making way for the other,
and the other is always tinged with a little resentment,
that serves as a permanent shadow,
a reminder of what you were,
how you failed,
how you hurt them,
or betrayed their trust...
It breaks your heart a little each time you see it,
and you feel it chipping away bit by bit,
for as long as it takes you to forgive yourself;
and for as long as it takes you to rise above,
and out of the shadow of who you used to be.
Sep 2015 · 1.0k
Art
Kim Sep 2015
Art
Rap out a rhythm of hope,
Sing me a song of despair,
Write a book of confessions,
Let laughter ring through the air,
Show the world your pictures,
Give them a taste of your words,
Let them drift toward you,
Carrying their stories- pain and mirth

However long the wait,
Whichever path you take,
Whatever breaks your heart,
Whosever heart you break
Let it always bring forth art, expression and form,
The age old remedy for the suffering and forlorn,
     Some say an artist must struggle, and sing songs of his hurt,
I say each individual feels the need to be heard

  So let's sing out our stories,
And adorn our walls,
With paintings in tribute,
Bearing witness to all
There’s no right and no wrong
When you’re sketching a song,
Painting a poem, or dancing along!
Sep 2015 · 3.6k
Twilight
Kim Sep 2015
There is a sense of timelessness in the twilight
Of time standing still and extending into the infinite
Of sadness and hope
Of yearning and satisfaction
Of unrest and peace
Where time has no meaning and
the mundane melts away into the symphony of colours in the sky..

..and your eyes follow the fading light and your soul knows its purpose once again..
Sep 2015 · 1.4k
Retrospective Perspective
Kim Sep 2015
Wandering the great abyss
Floundering in the dark
Searching the desert for an oasis,
Home fire warming the hearth

Floundering in the dark,
The lost, the fearful younger self
Home fire warming the hearth,
Faded picture on the shelf

The lost, the fearful younger self
Once vivid in imagination
Faded picture on the shelf
Juxtaposed jubilation

Once vivid in imagination
Looking back through sands of time
Juxtaposed jubilation
Travels back and forth the mind

Looking back through sands of time
Searching the desert for an oasis
Travels back and forth the mind
Wandering the great abyss
I've read a couple of really beautiful pantoums here..
this is my humble attempt at one :)
Sep 2015 · 2.7k
Sparkling Simplicity
Kim Sep 2015
Ignorance is bliss they say
There are many who might agree
But I have a secret to share today
That once was shared with me

If you should ever chance to gaze into the eyes of the young and bold
You might discern a glowing light that neither flickers nor grows cold

What sustains this constant spark-
Night or day, light or dark?

Whence flows the river of joy and peace
That gushes forth through gentle souls?
What is the secret of peaceful sleep
Enjoyed by minds of simpler mould?

Tempting though it may be to attribute to lacking wit
The exuberance and ecstasy discarded with the training bit,
Wisdom urges a second glance
beyond the proverbial looking glass
In the hope one might contrive
to visit with the other side
A world of simple charms and grace,
far from this one’s treacherous maze

And so this deeper, delving look
Might relight that failing spark
While in the pages of a thousand books
One may languish in the dark!
Aug 2015 · 1.3k
Average Fish
Kim Aug 2015
So many people love to think in extremes
You’re up or you’re down, no in-betweens
Winners and losers, one eye on the score
Beggars and choosers, the rich and the poor

Joining a conversation means picking a side
The right or the wrong, chance's jury will decide
This world's a kaleidoscope of different perspectives
Born of nature, nurture and various electives
Our DNA makes each one unique
And all of the above add to the mystique

Culture, climate, race, politics
Social background, language, etiquette
These circumstances are just a humble few
Of the scores that create each one’s point of view
And yet everywhere we see a common ailment
The inability to appreciate that we are truly different

We say the words and claim to accept the reality
But so many are crippled by that ill-conceived philosophy
The idea of the average, what most of us must be
The numbers dictate it: 6/2 equals 3!

I read an article today by a champion of this ideology
Touting a different definition of 'there’s no I in We'

I have never understood what drives some to be infatuated
With the idea of a ceiling, trapping the 'average' beneath it
I can’t help but feel this is too convenient a theory
A justification for fish struggling to climb trees
Indeed the ‘average’ fish might fail in this endeavour,
But what's to stop him from venturing into other waters?
My point isn’t that everyone can do everything
But I can’t subscribe to this defeatist thinking

Yes, everyone has limitations, which is important to accept
But we all have something to offer, it’s about the mindset
In the final reckoning, the value of each contribution
Will always account for our unique constitutions.
Jul 2015 · 603
a moment of mundanity
Kim Jul 2015
Sometimes, even though I have nothing to say, I just need to write

To write is to give voice to the permanent unrest lurking beneath the surface
And to let it all out brings peace
Momentary, fleeting peace
But for those moments my mind is quiet
My heart stops pounding out the rhythm of its discontent
My gut stops churning out reminders of all the times I ignored it, although I knew better..
And I *breathe
- not just because I have to but because I want to..
Because getting to know yourself, who you are under all those suffocating layers of coulds and shoulds and woulds, is one of the most important and satisfying journeys of all..
Jun 2015 · 541
Pockets of grey
Kim Jun 2015
The imagination and that dark little niche at the back of the mind, form a convenient pocket of grey:*
When we are too afraid
to believe something is real
Too unsure
Too vulnerable
When we find ourselves venturing into the terrifying realm where hope and despair coexist most discordantly...
We quickly and nervously pocket them:
Our dangerous thoughts
Our nerve-racking emotions
Our inspiring ideas
Like a winning lottery ticket we didn't buy
Laced with a guilty sense of un-belonging and unbelieving
We hold on to them,
Because somewhere deep down we value them
But we are afraid to believe in them
And we are afraid to let them out into the world
Where they may be assessed in the cold hard light of day
And be found wanting, or worse still-
Surpass our wildest dreams and
Threaten to fulfill our deepest desires...
How many times have I said to myself:
"Oh..it's just your imagination", or
"Ah, interesting, maybe I'll think about it tomorrow.."!
Jun 2015 · 1.4k
floating (aimlessly)
Kim Jun 2015
I wonder...
If I climb up a hill
When the morning is still
(dark)
If I lift up my eyes
To watch the sun rise
(gracefully)
If I fall into the sky
It'll take me up high
(carry me)
And I'll soar with the winds
And I'll float on the clouds
And I'll reach for the stars
As they come crashing down
(around me)
May 2015 · 1.2k
Nature v/s. Transcendence
Kim May 2015
I'm struggling to comprehend this desire to be desired
The forces of nature and evolution in which we're mired

No matter how far we travel into space,
Or how many organs we manage to replace
We cannot transcend the basic instinct
To preserve the species from going extinct

The world keeps spinning at a whirlwind pace,
No time for contemplation, it's the human race
If you don't keep up you'll vanish without a trace
A terrible fate that we can't seem to face
Is to have ourselves and our lives erased

Is this all there is then?
For this great species of women and men
We've struggled, survived and conquered
But our genes are still our masters
We splice study and duplicate
And try to decipher the codes
But must make time to find a mate,
Before we're too old

We've been to the moon and travelled back
We've fought world wars and pandemic attacks
We've studied the brain and consciousness
We've challenged society's prejudices

But no matter what we achieve, build or transcend
We're haunted by the spectre of being barren

The ant, elephant and amoeba
Redwood, fungus and bacteria
The chimp, owl and lowly cockroach
May not have weighty subjects to broach
But for all our millennia of evolution
The name of the game's still reproduction
I wonder if we'll ever be
Even as evolved as sea anemones!
May 2015 · 629
waking up
Kim May 2015
There's a war in my head
And I don't see an end
I don't see an end in sight
There's ranting and raving and petty upstaging
And I've forgotten who's wrong and who's right

Each day starts a battle
The earth shakes and rattles
The morning does not greet me well
My face in my pillow
Hides the sun from the window
Alarm clock sounds a death knell

Drag my feet off the bed
Sheets and pillows are shed
Long march to the new day begun
Pause here to be grateful
Never struggled for a plateful
Charmed life when all's said and done..
Life can be frustrating but I try to remember I've had it easy..there are so many with real troubles...
May 2015 · 10.9k
Warring and Winning
Kim May 2015
Make it through make it true
Lay it bare if you dare
Banish doubt make it count
Look around you’ve made it there

Shout it far show your scars
Fill the day with twenty-four hours
This is it what we’ve got
Looks like **** but it’s ours

You see this life filled with strife
So much hurt so much pain
Now you win now you lose
One man’s loss another’s gain

It wasn’t meant to be pretty
Empty towns ***** cities
People all around have issues
Insecure, lost and misused

You can choose to stay and fight
Assert yourself claim your rights
Or decide to turn away
Make your mark another day

Showing up is half the battle
Knocked down back in the saddle
It’s not the wins and the losses
It’s the learning it’s a process

At the end of the day
Stop and do the math
Those who've made hay
Don’t have to look back.
May 2015 · 940
Quarter-Life Crisis
Kim May 2015
I’ve been running on autopilot all these years
Ignoring into oblivion all my fears
Fears of not living up to my potential
Fears of not having the right credentials

All of a sudden, or not so much
I’m faced with forks in the road and such
Decisions, decisions, another arbitrary choice
I’ve never really chosen, guided by that nagging voice
“The path well trodden for now, will serve you in the long run!
Safety first, plenty of time for fun”
I’m not saying I've always coloured inside the lines
And I wasn't always afraid to march out of time
But you won’t be seeing my name on the news
Or my face in a painting, I’m nobody’s muse

Quarter-life crisis- such a common phrase
I suppose that’s because it’s the norm these days
Twenty-five years seems a long enough time
To chart a path for yourself, to begin the climb

I find myself struggling though it all seems on track
It appears I’ve managed to keep up with the pack
But as I stand before this obstacle course
I’m paralyzed, wondering did I choose the wrong horse?
The paradox of choice it is called
Myriad choices-an order too tall
Have I fallen prey to a sense of entitlement?
Or is this dissatisfaction rather important?

I wonder, am I even in the right race?
I’ve always felt somewhat out of place
Like an outsider looking in
Not sure how to wear my own skin
Yet I’ve played the role well enough
Lucky not to have it very tough

My biggest enemy has always been my own doubt
Never stood up to myself, so I’ve never stood out
I strived to be ordinary in exchange for peace of mind
That’s one goal I achieved: I’m top of the line!

*I hope I manage to figure it out
Before it's too late, before I lose the next bout
Maybe it starts with as simple a change
As ditching your umbrella to dance in the rain!
I set my standards sky high
I give up without a try
It’s all or nothing for me,
And life is easy breezy
Sing along, play along, dinner at the gong
It’s comfort first- correct me if I’m wrong...
Apr 2015 · 1.0k
So close yet so far...
Kim Apr 2015
There are those fleeting moments,
when you're a part of something naturally beautiful,
like a near epiphany that happens out of nowhere,
or one of those great conversations that are too rare,
and you pause: something flashes through your mind;
it occurs to you that this is special,
it doesn't happen often,
and there's no saying if or when it will happen again,
and you think to yourself- I should savour this,
commit it to memory,
so that I can call on it later, in those moments of solitude,
(spoken of by the great Mr. Wordsworth).

And just like that, you break the connection,
the moment passes, it is no longer spontaneous and natural,
it is aware of itself, and thus it is self-conscious, and the magic is lost,
and away from the garden of Eden you lumber, once again,
unknowingly and inexorably...
(This isn't precisely a poem, but thought I might share it all the same!)
Mar 2015 · 543
Whole Souls
Kim Mar 2015
I see so much beauty
Born of pain and suffering
Words of woe,
Songs of sorrow,
Scratches, screams and smudges
Of painful poetry
Painting a picture of brokenness
That speaks to me
  And what I hear is: Here I am.
Sorting through the fragments of my soul
Trying to believe that maybe,
Someday, I could be whole.
Mar 2015 · 23.8k
Sad Smiles
Kim Mar 2015
I come here and see sad smiles mostly,
I see poets and sad, knowing smiles of poetry...
Mar 2015 · 479
Draw a Line
Kim Mar 2015
Draw a line
But not in the sand
Draw a line
With your bare hands
Take a moment
Think about what you've done
Just a moment
And then you've begun
Begun to stand up
To stand firm and tall
To stand through each battle
To the end of the war
Knowing always that you
May stumble and fall
But your line holds you fast
Firm as a brick wall

Not a wall to fence you in
Or to keep them out
Nor to divide the North from the South
Nor was it built to protect the fold
It's the wall on which is written
The story you've told

Long after you are gone
Hidden under a mound
Your line they will find
Drawn firm in the ground.
Being true to yourself is the one constant in this ever changing life
Mar 2015 · 724
Judgment...Day
Kim Mar 2015
Is it where you come from that matters
Is it your history, your line of descent
Do they really know you, they chatter
Would they sit down with your friends
Where do you come from they ask
What is your story they say
Will you do away with your mask
Let them know you if they may

What went before doesn’t matter,
Only the present counts
It’s a fresh start you barter
For your past in the ground
But when it comes down to it
They still want to know
Where did you come from
Where will you go

You choose your own fate
Your life is in your hands
Your future’s for you to make
You’re not bound to the land
Let them know you by your deeds
By your words and by your song
Do they need to trace your feet
To know where you belong

What is a reputation
But a binding rope
No leeway to stumble
For it’s a slippery *****
If the days gone by are to colour
Every speech and action
Where is the scope to discover
Aren’t our lives but a fraction
Of what they could be
If we believed we were free
To set forth and make waves
Or float along with the sea

But then again you may say
Do people really change
Can they let go of the hate
Washed clean by the rain
And can we trust a man who lays
No claim to yesterday
For whom nothing can vouch
But the words of his mouth
If one is constantly changing
Then where does one stand
How can the others trust you
How can they shake your hand
Is trust merely an illusion?
We conjure up for ourselves
To alleviate the confusion
To put reason on the shelf
One day we all must choose
When there is much to lose
Whether to cling to the family tree
Or take flight and be free

Those you grow up with are forever
They’re the ones you never leave
Where you came from is your start
The first page of your story
But it can’t tie you down
It can’t hold you back
You mustn’t be afraid
For when they attack
They will have the armour of the known
And carry the weapons of their fathers
But you will have freedom
And an army of your brothers
Your brothers in thought
And ideals and humanity
Your brothers with whom you fought
The winds of disparity

So I suppose what I’m saying is
The only story that matters
Is the one that’s told
When you stand before your maker.

— The End —