uncontrollable splatter! I cannot hold in the ball of black accumulating growth any longer
EXPLOSION! my body is now all over the room
thoughts are the trigger. one after another.
it brought me from that place to this.
and now, what? a confused platter of what is and what was
All my entrails are my dish tonight and guess what's for dessert?
my soul. and I eat it up without hesitation.
tastes like chicken and now I can embody that something something something that is myself.
tomorrow i'll eat you.

you hear the same words I say but they mean something completely different than what you think
complement becomes attack, love pat becomes slap in the face
now one drink becomes ***** run
now this game is no fun
dodging those bullets or making them stop in mid air, neither will occur
now say what you mean and I'll try to do the same

I got the job
It was the logical thing to do
Sweet sweat dripping down from face to chest, from chest to groin
From groin to thigh, from thigh to toe

I can consolidate this liquid in a jar and trade it for nighttime pleasures
The things we were told never to do are now the luxuries that keep us going
Something green, something brown, something resulting in the "stench" that the neighbors complain about
But I got the job so I can indulge in such cruelties

Silly financial problems creating stress resulting in overindulgence thus causing more financial problems
I can see the cycle emerge and I feel helpless and vulnerable
But no, no, no! Life is what you make it! A paradise, a jail cell, a flower, a hole...
I'll go with the flower, I shall feed it water even if it appears withered and dry

It may take a year, it may take a decade, it may take a lifetime, but you will bloom, my dear flower,
YOU WILL BLOOM! bloom, bloom, and blossom! BLOSSOM!

and she wants to be wanted
no, not held, not loved, but wanted
perhaps those things too, at some point, but for now... wanted
and it plays out like a little TV show, a soap opera
little miss Jane, going insane, not sure if she should take the evening train
and yes, it's the comfort of thoughts of "me" consuming someone else's mind
thoughts of me consuming someone else's mind
thoughts of
thee

Give it your all, kid
It's the lesson you learn when all the love you took for granted withers and ultimately dies
But... Give it your all? one of those stupid phrases you hear and wish they'd just shut the **** up
Then, finally you have that one experience, that one click that brings you back to what they taught you: what you never gave two ***** about
Now it makes since because it's you who has done the learning
If it's going to be experienced, it better be EXPERIENCED
You want love? Give love. You want happiness? Share happiness.
You want hate? Hate your neighbor and he will ******* hate you back, you ******* ****.

It's the cookies in the cookie jar
I want that which makes me feel naughty, like I'm doing something wrong
A sudden ****** of lustful pleasure, then quietly placing the cap back on the glass
Now something is gone that was there before and I have won
Lets see how many times this game can be played before someone gets hurt...

stop and breathe again. something we forget.
everythings okay. everythings okay. e-ver-eee-thing-z o-kaay
the mantra rings like a church bell hanging from my arm.
it says, "the trial is only followed by a phat party!"
wakes up in a pool of his/her **** and *****.
must've been a good night. or just dumb. probably both.
no more apologies. no more clamping onto the ship for dear life.
no more breakdowns and no more pointing fingers.
This is Om. **** it and swallow it. It tastes like now, it tastes like forever.
maybe it burns but its the milk that keeps me going.
Flowing from the eye in the middle, the joy re-enforces the truth.