Leave Me Alone, She asked me for.
I gave up my soul, She lend me before.
It was her I lived for, Now where do I stand with out her anymore!
She never loved me, Nor my mind.
But it is me who's hopes never die.
My hopes now live in vain, Is this where the story stains?
I can sorry her, but for what?
She never would learn that my love is not a fraud.
I have tuned hollow now, Where to run and whom to follow now?
It ain't gonna happen again, It would be too insane.
Now I have to live in this ocean of pain, because that's how I'm gonna win.
I ain't gonna be "The Looser" in the end. Is there someone you wanna send?
Love. What is Love? A blend of pain and hope.
For me, Not something mankind has been defining from it's toe.
They have been shamelessly lying, Telling that love has ever since been flying.
All through ages, Love has been forgot.
Shakespeare was one of the last, Who could blast the world with love and even more.
Next would be who? Who would be true?
You might doubt.
That would be my taken seat, Could there be anyone who can jump over this feat?
I speak a word, But my feelings are never heard.
They loose away while their companions are slipping forward.
Now I ask for nothing more but an immortal curve on the floor of your face, To the depth of your gaze.
For many it would be tough to see through my poetical haze.
But trust me, The cloud you can not think out is where my love has finally got.
I deserve to be laughed at. She is all normal, But me beating 20 at my 15th gate.
Hate is all that I can get, For nervously striking jungles of irritating thoughts in her head.
I am depressed, But why to dash her future with my fate?
The other side of my debates. This is not what I should get.
There are rocketing drops of thoughts in my head, That a day would come when the right realization would hit her bed.
That is all very well said.
But all I can really do is hope,
Till I am finally dead...
This is a very old poem, also one of the most emotional ones that I have written till date. I keep this poem with me all the time, 24/7, everywhere I go, and I dedicated it to this one person whom I'm going to refer to as Miss. K. This is a very special poem for me, and very difficult to explain at the same time, but I would still try my best.
As a aid for explanation, I divided the poem into six parts. I would explain each part separately as a whole.
The origin of this poem lives in the womb of the message I received some two years ago. In the message, The protagonist or Miss. K conveyed to me that she wants me to leave her alone and cease to exist in her personal life. As a reflection to those three sharp words - Leave Me Alone, I wrote this poem.
Part 1 : This is the most easy to understand part. Here I talk about my sorrow, The pain that I have received, My confusion on how to deal with this situation of rejection and more. I complain that even if I sorry her, She will not understand what she means to me. But, realizing that there is no one in my life right now who can console me, I start counseling my self. I propose the idea of not letting something like this ever happen again. I try to fight my emotions.
Part 2 : Here, in the second part, the philosophical state of my mind kicks in and I start questing everything.
What is love?
I discover that, Love is nothing but a blend of pain and hope. You always receive pain when in Love, They go hand in hand. And for your love to sustain, You need hope.
I then move forward sharing my thought that since ages, love has been defined as that happy feeling you receive when you are in a intimate bond with someone. But, following my thoughts, I think that love is not all about happiness, but also about the pain you receive along with it.
In support of my thought, I mention how Shakespeare was one of the only few artistic personalities who really understood true love, and you can see a reflection of that in his works. There is a reason why his famous work, Romeo and Juliet had a not so happy ending.
Then I float to the realization that not many understand true love in the actual sense. This leads me to the conclusion that I am one of the very few who face and realize what true love truly means.
Part 3 : The third part is my favorite, and to explain it in detail, I divided it into three more parts. I will be explaining each separately.
A : "I speak a word, But my feelings are never heard.
They loose away while their companions are slipping forward."
I want to communicate. I want to explain. I want to convey my feeling to her but the tool I have been provided with by virtue is my mouth. I need to speak up. But, speaking alone would not help. I need to carefully wrap my feeling around the words I utter, and set them on the voyage to reach her beautiful mind and hope that she will understand.
So, with all the courage that I consist within me, I speak.
But as soon as I open my mouth, I dash into the realization that my feelings are so delicate that the words I utter just can not handle them.
Thus, when the words start falling out of my mouth, The bond that I set between them and my feelings, falls apart and soon I though see the words reaching her ears, I sense the absence of my feelings.
Disappointed, I look down, and see my feelings falling on the ground.
Thus, in those two line, all I am trying to say is, my feelings loose away and fall down while their companions, the words I use to convey them slip forward to reach her ears.
B : "My Love,
Now I ask for nothing more but an immortal curve on the floor of your face, To the depth of your gaze."
Here you can see me attempting to write a brief two line letter to Miss. K. In the letter I try to explain to the girl that, there is not much that I need from her. All I am asking for is an immortal curve on the floor of her face, which translates to an never ending smile on her face. I want her to be happy all the time, To discover happiness in every fraction of second that she lives, Every gaze of the outside world that she takes.
C : "For many it would be tough to see through my poetical haze.
But trust me, The cloud you can not think out is where my love has finally got."
By now I realize that the people who will read this poem in the future, will not be able to understand anything thanks to the poetical haze that I create here. So, in accordance with the complexity of the poem I try to assure the reader that the love I hold within myself for Miss. K reaches even beyond the average maximum, which is what the Cloud 9 stands for. Normally Cloud 9 is referred to as the maximum state of happiness, but for me, its even beyond that.
Part 4 : As I said, I wrote this poem some two years ago. I was 15 years old then, but my thought process and the way I use to talk made many people think that I am too mature for my age. They would say that I think and talk like a 20 year old guy. But she was nothing like that, she was just another normal average teenager. This wide difference in my thought process and the realization that she might never understand me, made me super nervous which eventually lead me to poke her with all the thoughts that use to hover in my mind at that time. I send her long irritating messages which for obvious reasons she did not like. Thus, all this directs me to the conclusion that her hate towards me is justified. In the aftermath of all this mess, I tell myself that even though I am depressed, I do not have any rights to irritate her with my mournful out of control roaming thoughts, and I should stop trying to dash her future with my fate.
Part 5 : In a counter flow of ideas, I try having second thoughts about whether or not I deserve what I am getting in return of all the love that I have. I know that she does not understand me nor does she realize how much I love her, But still I stick to the hope that someday the realizations will hit her. Some day she will understand. Some day she will know.
Part 6 : In the conclusion of it all, that is in part 6, I talk about how good a poem this is. I complement myself, telling that perhaps reading this she might finally understand.
But I also remind myself that I can write as many such poems as I want. I can be Philosophical, Creative, Artistic and try everything possible to make her understand but in the end, all that I can really do is Hope!
Hope till I am finally dead.
Thank you for reading.
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