Thank you for realizing that you are so unworthy
of such a precious piece of gold that you left her.
But *******.
******* for making her insecure.
You were such an infectious waste that all you ever did for her
was tell her that her weight should be a certain number
******* for making her scared to go swimming
because she doesn't want anyone to see her stomach.
******* for leaving scars on her arms
that she feels obligated to wear long sleeve shirts
even when its 85 degrees outside.
******* for not allowing her to love herself
without foundation, mascara, and bronzer
because now she feels the need to get dolled up, just to take a nap.
******* for everything you ever put her through.
I hope to God I ever see you because I guarantee you don't want that to happen.
I cannot express my hatred for you, even though I've never met you.
On the other hand, thank you for making her the delicate little dandelion she is because now she is my dandelion, and I will never abuse her delicacy like you did.

I am a gladiator in the Roman Colosseum
when the lions are let loose
and I've been given a sword that's too small
to defend myself with
The people in the stands are laughing at me
Not one of them reaches down to pull me out
Because they put me here
They sent these lions to hunt me down
for the crimes I committed
They clap and cheer
Because to them it's a sport
watching me get torn apart
And I never thought I would be down in this pit
Because I once sat where they did
Jeering and clapping for convicts to pay their dues
But look where I am now
I am the gladiator in the Roman Colosseum
when the lions are let loose

I remember thinking once
that the best nights
were ones you couldn't remember
Because in those moments you can't recall
you assumed you were having fun
And you remember laughing about spilled tequila
because you knew you didn't need anymore
But in the morning you would look at the bottle
and see liquor spilled across the carpet
and wonder why you found it so funny
Because now you've added more to the mess
that was already scattered across your floor
And the butterflies in your stomach
aren't warm and fuzzy like the night before
but a fire burning deep into your chest
And you hang your head in consternation
because you have no idea what you've done
And words of regret sit in your mouth
because it is too dry to form sentences to adequately describe your guilt
So I have come to find
that the nights you can't remember are desolate for a reason
To remember would send you into a perpetual state of hatred
if you weren't there already

I dream of the day
That I will come home to a home
that does not only belong to me
That I will come home to someone
who will climb up next to me
in a bed that is ours
That I will open our fridge and pull out our wine
and sit down in front of our fireplace and talk
about the day we wished we had had together
That I will have to learn to smoke with my left hand
because you like to hold my right
when we're sitting on our back porch
drinking coffee
I dream
Of kisses brushed hastily across rushed lips
but with still enough time to say I love you
Of going to sleep every night
pressed up against the person that will forever be mine
I dream of the day
That I will make a covenant to one person
for the rest of my life
That I will be able to love someone fully
and have them love me back
That someone will want me forever
And not just for a moment
But most of all
I dream of the day
That I meet you

I'm tired of kissing the mouth of a bottle
and trying to sip happiness from a glass
Because alcohol only gives false impressions
of love and joy
And when it wears off
I'm left exactly where I was before
Except I smell of ***** and cigarettes

Once
I met a boy with soft grey eyes
that matched the color of his sweatshirt
His smile was tentative but it made him mildly more attractive
He didn't say much but he listened intently
And I wondered what he was thinking
But he gave nothing away
Once
I talked to a boy with soft grey eyes
that peered into mine
and blond hair
that he kept pushing off of his forehead
In closer proximity with him I realize
He's a very striking young man
Once
I had dinner with a boy with soft grey eyes
that paired well with the purple shirt he was wearing
Everything he said captivated me
He talked steadily but quietly
He was charming and funny
and I have never been so hypnotized
Once
I fell in love with a boy with soft grey eyes
and a heart bigger than his head
He brushed kisses over my forehead like the words he spoke
Gentle and sweet but strong
so that I knew he loved me too
Once
I fought with a boy with soft grey eyes
that projected his silent anger
when he had no more to say
It was my fault and I pushed him too far
until his face turned dark
and he let his hair fall onto his face
because he was too enraged to push it away
But he never rose his voice
he never yelled
he always kept the love in his voice
But once
I lost a boy with soft grey eyes
Because the soft grey turned dark
until the love seemed to slip away
It was still there, I knew, but it was harder to see
And I still thought about the boy I met that day
Quiet and reserved
hardly saying two words but he slowly stole my heart
but taking it all away until I wished I had met him
Only once

The way eagle glides in the air
Plays with the sky so gracefully
No matter if it rains or not
Flying high is it's only thought
Sparrows chirping, singing songs
All the things that I can long
So lucky they are as they have
Freedom to fly, they never hesitate
The shine of earth just before the dawn
The magic of  sky before the dusk
And when it rains drop by drop
In the garden tiny insects hop
All of these blessings they see
Glory of nature that makes one glee
I wish I could fly with those flocks
Instead of walking on these rocks