Jan 4 L

Am I really a poet,
If all I ever write about,
Is you?

Feeling insecure today.
L Jan 4

I've got a dark place in my heart.
A place that likes hurt,
A place that accepts abuse,
And in this place I find solace,
I find warmth and confusing joy,
So hit me as hard as you can,
Beat me until I can cry no more,
But never say you'll leave me.
That, I could not endure.

I'm trying to find new coping mechanisms.
  Dec 2017 L

there’s a
stuck inside
my chest
it throbs in pain
every damn
time when
someone says
your name


  Dec 2017 L
A Love For Hatred

I saw forever in your eyes. . .

                Then you closed them.

Wrote this when I found out my husband was in love with another woman.
  Dec 2017 L
Lost Soul

I'm crying for help but silence is what they see
Smiling but the wounds are too deep
Do you see the pain?
Everyone's shoulder... but where's his?
They say he's such a nice kid
Give him an Oscar he earned it
He's putting on a grade A performance
Playing the role but never playing himself
It's a cold world when you're in it by yourself

L Dec 2017

Dragging           ­             
I just need sleep
                      Slowl­y I creep
                       Leaving me
You're gone
I'm lost
I hope I'm dreaming

Forever lost.
L Dec 2017

It's a drug I cannot quit,
A power I must obtain,
Its something I must take,
And never something I will give,
It consumes me,
It devours.
I cannot breath,
It will not let me free.
Do I fight or let it be?
Please, I promise it's not me.
I'm breaking,
Or maybe I'm just broken,
Is this why it chose me?
Because I'm so very weak?

I am constantly fighting an internal battle. I'm disliked by many, and others don't really know me. I hate myself for all that I am and sometimes, I really think I'm better off dead.
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