O 2h
It's when I listen to certain songs
It's when certain TV shows or movies come on
It's that scent of yours that I can swear still lingers
It's the memories of your sensitive eyes
When I'm crying alone
Remembering I can't just call you anymore
Is it inappropriate to say I'm a junky for you?
I crave you in wake and sleep
I dream of your warm skin on mine
I can taste your tongue and feel your lips
I just want one more night with you
I promise after that I'll stop
Just one more night and I'll never touch your memory again
And I lay restless
You cloud my mind with thoughts of what could have been

I was never a junky for anyone but you.
It was always easy for you to get people to fall in love with you. I know I wasn't your one and only, but you were mine. I miss you dearly. Rest easy, my angel.
O Jun 4
I feel it in my nerves,
A jolt that goes through me when I see them with others,
A fear that picks the strings of my heart,
Why am I not the one?
I open my heart,
Lay out all of my feelings and hurts,
Just to be swept under the rug again,
Why didn't you choose me?
I get headaches and lie down,
Somehow trying to drown,
I am not this which holds me,
Jealousy.
It's not one of my best writes, but I have to get it out somewhere, and what better place than here. I don't mean to sound like the whole world revolves around me, but it does feel that way when the negativity starts seeping through the cracks. I'm sorry.
  Mar 2 O
zahra
when people are in love
they often say
they simply fell
tripped over their own two feet
face forward
and into the arms of their beloved

i did more than simply fall
onto the ground of your love

you, for me
were an ocean
and i dived
headfirst
roughly
harshly
almost painfully
into the waters of “you”

i knew i could not swim
but i did so anyway
i was drowning
entangled in you
surrounded by this being of “you”
engulfed in this feeling of “you”

and i did not know what came over me
but i let myself drown
i did not try to swim back up
because if i went back to land,
releasing myself from your grasp
that would mean losing the feeling of “you”

and after
submerging into the depth
the love
the passion
of “you”

how could i ever leave?
O Feb 22
Him
She means nothing to him,
Her heart is his to crush,
He says he adores her,
He builds up trust,
Just to show her her worth,
She looks at him with love,
She is the mat that lies in front of his door,
She was made to be broken,
Like a wild horse,
She fights until she can fight no more.
Defeated.

She gathers her things when he's not home,
Packs up her car and locks the door,
No note, no explanation,
Just freedom once more,
Though she fears the inevitable.
When he finds her, what will she do?
He still has her trapped,
Scared and fearful, he'll be coming soon.
Captive.

Love was replaced with hate,
Fear with drive,
Let him go ahead and try,
She breaks down from time to time,
Remembering why,
Why she can't be normal,
Why she has so many triggers,
Yet she grows and she grows,
In her mind he's a dark figure,
A figure to strive to beat,
He has no power here,
She plays that sentence on repeat.
Resilient.

He hasn't come yet,
She's breathing relief,
No more nightmares,
She's working through the bad memories,
He has no power here.
He has no power here.
He has no power here.
Him.
With every day that passes, I feel more power.
O Feb 22
How dare you.
You lied to me and deceived,
When I opened my heart and believed,
I had a friend through it all,
But where were you when I began to fall?
I ruined my life in front of your eyes,
Your selfishness shown through in your lies,
You left me for dead in a dark, dark place,
Yet you expect me to drop everything and forgive you just in case,
In case there's a "chance",
In case I fall again,
Now you know how to manipulate the right way,
But trust me, I'm done trying,
How f*cking dare you,
You came to me like I never cared
Like I wasn't there in for YOUR despair
When can you say you did the same?
I can only imagine it was all part of your sick game
I loved you so much
I thought I showed you all the time
That love was platonic
And I thought that was fine
But you didn't, so you hurt me
How dare you tell me otherwise.
You can not manipulate me anymore. I'm done.
  Feb 7 O
Lora Lee
If I could
pinpoint the
exact moment
your breath
touched mine
washed me over
in ocean waves
sea creatures glowing
in delightful recognition
as the seedlings
of connection
shimmied into our being
and, dancing within me
in its own lifeforce
your mind a living,
breathing animal
your heart, purring
and whirring its sacred forces
into my molecular structures
your soul throbbing
in mitochondric pulsing
(oh what
a delicious vibration
of ribosomes
)
Between us, we hold
the true treasures
close, in frothy
                       tenderness
a purity of the expanse
of our universe,
swathed in prismatic color
colors that shift,
these fresh hues
for which there are no name
they are lucid and fine-woven
as silk histories
yet deep as earthcore
your eyes, voice
are forever burned
into my own
every day scriptures
that rock my shattered parts
into wholeness
and,
like ancient magic,
I conjure forth
the holy gospel
rising from our bones
every second of
every minute
as our deepest fires
our most secret filth
our murky corners
our darkest hours
we weave into light
brilliant and lustrous
multi-layered in the richest
folds of the earth
and as you place me
upon the shores
of your garland-graced
                              throne
Now I'm alive in a new
kind of light
and
all I can do
is love
        and love
and love
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrOcxD3IWW0
O Feb 6
Yesterday I lost a piece of my heart,
He was perfect in every way.
He didn't show me how much pain he was in,
I just didn't know.
I blame myself for his passing,
But I guess it was just his time.
I'll meet you again on that rainbow road,
Upon the turn of the tide.
He was more than just a pet, he was family.
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