I want to be the well trusted word
throughout the moon’s midnight eyes
with wishes that were once something other than                                                             pai­n

I want to*  believe
  I want to    see
     I want to  know

             I want to be the verb,    "I CAN”
                I want to walk with a purpose
                   and confess to you
                     that one average afternoon
                         **I fell in love with you…

As I straddle your legs, I tickle you with delightful intentions and you respond with mirth. Little dots that adorn your body shimmer in the sunlight and whisper lovely promises. I lean down and taste your sweet lips with a gentle kiss. I gaze into your eyes and I see all of the answers to my questions that I have been looking for. I think to myself and wonder how I got so lucky. Then sadly, I wake up. As the lingering touches fade, the ghost of you haunts me with what could be.

There is no one to run to now,
the lights have dimmed,
I can’t see the stars anymore,
they have lost their comforting shine,
I need time to mourn the loss of what could have been,
I’m such a fool, I took a risk,
maybe I can learn to forgive myself but I can’t forget,
I wouldn’t trade an iota of this pain because at least then I can feel something
and not be numb,
where reality differs from imagination,
I must refrain from looking back at the past,
the magic diminishes and familiar places are tarnished,
we must start anew,
as the facade disintegrates,
I’m left with my small semblance of self,
I will cast the walls back up again and keep my heart in its cage,
run as far as you can from this tragic kaleidoscope,
get too close and you will get cut by the shattered pieces,
as time fleets, I will pick up my pieces and try my best to move on.

Why smile
When pain is all you feel
Why cry
when there is no one to care
Why live
When there is no hope