want to throw ya in designers
tear the streets up, just you and me
you know what i'm thinking
go to bed wearing your white tee

our loving's like super bae though
hearts been broken before
and our feet's kind of sore
losing control, shades of grey

blind against the world, rainbow casting
its ghost across the cloudy sky's sweep
how can we leap when we limping?
how can we laugh when we weep?

only together, dont tell ya friends
i have a soft spot in my insides for you

Some days, I wake up and i just don’t feel pretty. I don’t know what it is, whether its the food that i eat or the drinks that i drink or the things that i do try to enjoy. I get up, and look in the mirror, and i just hate the image staring back at me.

I mean, it isn’t like i think im grotesque, it isn’t like i genuinely believe that i am repulsive, i just cannot get over the fact that, my skin is marred, what once was flawless is now scarred. i cannot see past the blur that i see in my eyes, the haze on my soul.

Some days, i wake up, and i just want to get high, and lie, in the rain instead on lying to myself that everything is how it should be, that destiny and fate have me in just the right position. That i am exactly where i need to be, but i truly do not see where this is going.

I mean, what am i doing? and where am i to go, when i dont see my future laid out like a yellow brick road. I joke about needing sunglasses because my future is that bright, but im blinded by the fact that i truly have no idea, where i am, let alone whats coming next.

Some days, i block out my past, by creating a swirling ball of white nothing, and feed my thoughts, my life, my worst times into the light so i dont have to twitch and cringe as my mistakes flash before my sight. It is difficult to live with such regret, and can i keep going.

I mean, it feels like fire through my brain when some of my best memories are those i have when i am alone. because when i am around others, no matter who they are, i hate what i do, what i have said and what my next move will be.

Some days, i feel like falling into the sun, and burn to a crisp. To see my pale bones char and flash into ashes because i hate who i have become. i want to escape the world, if just for a time, to stop existing but not to die. its a break of sorts from having to think, for all else i see, hear, smell, taste is to much and pushes me to the brink.

Some days, i have to whisper my own sweet nothings, to myself, knowing of course that no one else will. its not that everyone hates me, but i dont know its true, that for want of a companion my loneliness grew. It seems no ones approaches for reasons i do not know, i do my absolute best to make others smile and that seems to channel a raging torrent of, you’re not worth my time.

I mean, i truly despise the opinions of others and loathe that i care what they think. It doesnt make sense that they have so much weight, so much say, in how i view myself. i know its not right, and i know that its wrong, but i cannot stop myself no matter what.


Some days, i am my own person i tell myself, but i know its a lie, im itty bitty pieces of every other guy, and girl. traits and mannerism i admire, ive tried to replicate, a chameleon uncomfortable in their own skin, itching and scratching and doing their “best”.

I mean, its not my best, that i know for truth. what is my best? do i or will i ever know? probably not, for since the beginning of memory ive imitated and copied and imprinted personality parts, i havent been my own person for a very long time.

Some days. I wish it were not so frequent. Some days. I wish for silence. From my Thoughts. From my Feelings. From the boisterous noise that is life. I need to stop and i need to sleep. I just need to know i havent fallen in too deep. There may come a day where i do see the light, when my futures ember bursts into bright white.

But for now i know that tomorrow when i wake, ill look in the mirror and stare and say ‘you know what...today is okay’

They used to ****** people that look like I do
They do ****** people that look like I do
They've taken away my freedom and put my mind in a cage
No use to fight the bloodshot eyes
Stained from the tears I cry
Our cries for justice and equality they are trying to hide behind bars
because they know that nobody dares to read between the lines of white lies
They are trying to silence us
Keeping an entire race from the ability to arise

When blackbirds die, why can't we ever hear their screams?
Maybe that's why they never hear our screams,
For black lives to actually matter

Injustice has grabbed us by the hand with a grip that we can barely withstand
We cannot break free from what our skin defines us as
They say be afraid,
I'm just another face in the crowd of a picture of silenced serenity
Because dark skin is really just a picture of crowded statistics and percentages
We stay in the shade because that's the only place we seem to fit in
Maybe that's why we seem to be walking in the dark like zombies
Killed by the sweetness of black suicide , genocide
I'm tired of trying to put my sorrows aside

Our children love to play in the rain
Dark hearts
Dark souls
Dark minds
Seem to come along with having dark skin
The rain finally gives it a companion
Our little boys can finally find a release
Cry the tears they always held back
Because they were taught that real men don’t cry
But the rain
Protects him from criticism
He asks
“If I cry alone,
Will heaven still accept me?”

Let us pray
‘Our father who hide in shadows
Humble be thy name
Thy love will never come
Thy affection is solely done

hey, it's me
how are things?
are you there? i miss
you so much

i know ***** and break-ups
don't mix and i
know that's probably
why i'll regret this tomorrow.
i hate myself but i
called just to tell
you i'm sorry

but

will the day come when
we would want to
see the sunset and watch
each sunrise with each
other - will you love me
again by then?

no.
never mind.
bye.

depression isn't beautiful.
it's so **** ugly
that it checks its reflection on the mirror
from time to time
to make sure that the cheap make-up
holds up;
so that no one would notice,
no one would bat an eye
on its ugly and pathetic visage...

Am not one to promise that the cold winds won't blow
but I know that I'll always wrap you in this thick blanket
of my affection when those tough times come...
Am not one to promise perfection for I'll make many a mistake,
but I can promise to always learn from every mistake I make
Am not one to promise to pluck for you the stars out of the sky
I can only hope to be right by your side as you watch
the handful on a clear night, and to hold your hand through the dark nights
Am not one to promise that the journey will not be long
I can only promise as you walk to journey along...
Am never going to promise that the ocean will always be calm
storms are part of the deal, but am willing master the sails.
can't promise that the roses will always bloom even when winters come
but I promise to wait for another spring and watch them blossom with you...
so expect the winds, expect flaws, expect dark nights, even long journeys
expect the roughest of waves and storms that will slay the blossoms
but also expect remorse, tough sails, another spring, another dawn
expect an umbrella and a warm hold through the cold storms
and most of all, expect me to always call you my own,
expect a love that endures through and through
a passion that is pure and true...expect a now that's forever.