Maybe it was time,
For us to fall apart,
I only held your hand,
But I gave you my heart.

Maybe I just loved you more,
For that, I blame myself,
But, how was I supposed to know,
That you loved someone else?

I won't tell you I hate you,
But, I can't help how I feel,
I suppose I'll try to fix my heart,
For someone else to steal.

Sitting here,
Thinking about the time,
You said "I lov--
Eh, Nevermind.
You've turned happy thoughts,
Into tear drops,
And ruined,
My visits to candy shops,
Our first kiss,
Was kinda sweet,
But, something sour,
Was in your teeth,
Your lips were painted,
On his cheek,
They spelled the word,
"Bittersweet."

Your heart, to me, is like a summer sky,
Still, yet fiery,
Beautiful, and never mine
Your heart is a summer sky,
A week before September,
If i see you again,
Before it ends,
Will you feel just how i remember?

"My parents tried,
until they got divorced,
Because I ruined their lives"
These lyrics played throughout my head all day,
It was as if I had forgotten the rest of the song,
At the same time-forgotten the rest of the world,
And these 12 words seemed to be all I could remember.
It wasn't long until the music notes,
Turned into tear drops ,
As the lyrics just became words,
And the music faded away.
Instead of singing, I was talking.
Each time I repeated this phrase,
It became more and more truthful.
I didn't write the song but,
I nearly convinced myself I wrote these lyrics,
Maybe not with a pen or paper,
But with action.
Not with Inspiration,
But with experience.
My parents tried,
Until they got divorced because,
I ruined their lives.

She sounded like church bells,
Ringing through a snow storm.
And I was the frantic pedestrian,
Trying to brave the streets,
For a Sunday mass.
I didn't even believe in God,
But, boy, did I believe in her.
She was the answer to my prayers,
For a moment I thought she saved my life,
Or rather, I saved hers.
Either way- there was nothing religious
Or magical about it,
Except that Heaven was in her arms,
And Hell is where she left me.

Some things are harder to admit,
For one, It hurts to say
I've lost my grip,
And for me
Confessions come too quickly,
Is it spilled ink
Or a poisoned mind?
Would my silence be broken
If you were mine?
Or would the commitment
**** me.
With broken pencils,
I'll find my reasons not to die,
And hope they outweigh,
The thought of suicide.

Broken wings won't take us far,
No matter how hard we try,
We can forgive our selfish hearts,
But, that still won't make us fly

I know I'll forgive you,
I know that I will,
I know that I love you,
For some reason still,
You tried not to hurt me,
Or that's what you said,
And I try to remember,
With each tear that I shed.
You said "I love you"
I said forever,
You closed your eyes,
And we both cried together,
"Goodbye, I'm sorry"
You said through the tears,
"Goodbye, I love you.
And I wish you were here."

There are reasons why
I think the sky
Reminds me of myself,
And reasons why,
At night I cry,
I feel too dark
For someone else
Though, stars shine,
Just mild lights,
The reasons why
I don't own knives
Has less to do
With novelty
And more to do
with clouded judgment

I wish we were still together,
Sometimes more than others,
But, always.

Suddenly the days seem longer,
And the nights seem just as long,
I pass my time,
With stupid rhymes,
About what I've done wrong
If I only knew
It would lose me you
And like that my memories gone

You're a diamond
And I'm a stone of much less desire
And yet I desire you.
The closer to me,
You get,
I crumble
Still I'll never know,
How much you have been through

Eat, Sleep, and Breath me,
Fill your cup and drink me,
I'm your liquor,
I'm your wine,
I'm your Johnny Walker- pass the time,

I need you to need me,
Please don't ever leave me,
I'm the music,
You're the muse,
The only drug I'd ever use,

Drink me
Love me
Let's get drunk on nothing

Take me,
Break me,
Let me tell you something,

Midnight dreaming,
I'm having trouble sleeping,
I'm the sky
Youre my star,
I'm your "Touch me in the dark"

Take a shot of whiskey,
Fill your cup and drink me,
Hold my hand,
And kiss my cheek,
You look so nice this evening

When we met for the first time,
You were dressed in black,
I knew that I liked you,
And that you liked me back.
And then on our first date you were dressed in blue,
It brought out your eyes,
Which were undoubtedly the things,
I loved most about you.
When you were sad,
You wore hats,
Because they made you feel hidden,
But, I think they made you look cute,
And so that's why you did it.
When you were happy you'd shine,
No matter what you wore,
But it was probably expensive,
From a high end store.
And that night I told you I Loved you,
For the first time,
You wore an ugly grey sweatshirt,
Because, well, that sweatshirt was mine.
You wore a black dress,
That night I said I wanted to die,
Then you went out with friends,
And with some other guy,
I told you "I hate this",
And you said I'm too emotional,
You wore that same black dress,
The next week to my funeral.
The next week,
And week after that,
I still saw you wearing it,
The one black dress ,
I said was my favorite.
I love you,
I miss you,
I'll leave it at that,
But, it's hard to see you from heaven,
When you keep wearing that hat.

I still never learned
To blow out the flames
And so they grow-
Instead of me
Burning the air
I've promised to breathe
Why keep a promise
If I'm broken as well
Not quite burning
but, still been through hell
It's through the chaos
I've found myself fireproof.
I still can't keep a promise
But, you won't burn me down.

Right now,
I want you,
And my mind often goes there,
Your words
Are the echoes,
I hear in the air,
But, yet your silence,
Can break my focus

You were the rain
You were the sun,
You were the reason
Yes, you were the one,
You grew the flowers,
In my dull bouquet,
You made the birds sing,
All through the day,
The clouds came,
And storms began,
You became hidden,
A shell in the sand,
You were the violence,
Yes, you were a production,
You were a tornado,
And I was the destruction,
You brought me hope,
But, destroyed it in seconds,
You're just like the weather,
And I'm like the wreckage.

For so long I've locked my heart,
Inside my chest with lock and key,
A treasure kept sacred,
But, truth be told,
It's worthless.

I'm sorry my feelings faded,
I'm sad about it too,
I wish something could've happened,
I liked the thought of me and you,
You're lovely and brilliant,
You're pretty and sweet,
But, there's nothing I can do,
Any sort of love between us,
I'm sorry, it won't be true

Like a house on fire,
I fell to my knees,
I let down my walls,
For you to breathe,
And when I escaped,
The coal marked my feet,
You weren't my freedom,
You were my gasoline.
And so you know,
I never got bored of you,
I just hated how you used me.
And how with you,
I wore my heart,
Around my neck too loosely,

Sometimes chocolate covered pretzels make me sad,
Not because of any reason
Just the fact you liked them,
Then I think
Maybe most people do,
still
Those stupid pretzels
Remind me of you

Sometimes I feel like a lighter,
With no fuel to spark a flame,
I guess I'll be no use to you,
And that may never change,
"I'll forget you I will,"
The broken-hearted sing,
Gunfire in the Winter,
Broken bottles ring,
You got higher in the summer,
I still called you my queen,
And every piece of you and me,
Are frozen in the spring.

I have scars in your memory,
And poems about you.
I have blankets of thoughts,
In my mind that surround you,
Broken hearts-
Stitched back together,
Inked with your name,
In capital letters,
All those years wasted,
I guess, too long together.
Though Forgetting is hard,
When we both said"forever"

The way you kissed me,
Was how I knew,
That you loved me,
And I loved you.

Let's pretend that we're "just tired,"
And not that we're depressed,
Make believe that scars that bleed,
Are wounds inside my head,
Let's pretend that you and I,
Haven't felt the pain,
Of broken hearts that fell apart,
The day that your mind changed

I'm not mad that you lied,
I actually don't care,
To be honest, I lied too,
So, I guess the game is fair.

You never broke my heart,
Didn't even dent it,
I don't think I felt a thing,
When everything had ended.

So, go call me a liar,
If you believe that's true,
But, the only lie I ever told,
Was that I would lie to you

Driving in the rain,
Thinking of the pain,
You must have kept in your mind.
Turn down the radio,
Turn into an unlit road,
Again, ignoring the signs,
If you want to use me, then *******,
Abuse me, to know I love you
And again let me say *******,
Because I ******* love you.
We both know its a dead end,
but, still I just keep thinking of you

I've had some time,
To clear my head
But, chose to dream
Of love instead
Foolish boy
I must be lost,
Letting you
Invade my thoughts
Sweet smile
Dark eyes

You made it hard to forget you-

A few more days
And weeks go by,
But, still
I have you on my mind
Your touch is fading
But, I'll know the pain
when I recall
Your face again

Though,
Its getting easier to forget

Never mind,
I'm sorry I said it,
It just said "Hello",
But, I'm sorry I sent it,
So, never mind,
I don't want to disturb you,
I  know I'm "too ******* emotional,
And I'll probably hurt you"
Forget it, I love you,
But, I'll say nothing at all,
Unless one day you miss me,
Just please give me a call.
xoxo

Let's rewind to before we met,
So I can see your smile
Once more,
Before I knew
Your thoughts by heart
And was someone you adore
Let's forget eachother's
Coffee orders
And forget
Our favorite bars
Before we ever
Made mistakes
And wished
on shooting stars

I won't tell you
Our wishes never came true

I thought that I'd,
Get lost in your eyes,
But, Instead
You've become lost in my mind,
That doesn't mean,
My heart won't beat,
Or that my poems won't rhyme,
I'm still a writer,
My life will go on,
But, if I fall in love with you,
My dear,
My mind is where you'll belong

Pixeled pictures and hand-typed letters,
How intimate in today's world.
Phone calls, mid-day while my garden blooms,
Your touch is all that i'm missing,

A photo from my bed room,
A like on your post,
Is this dating?
Are we still in love?

I tried to see things from your point of view,
And now my knees are black and blue,
I guess I learned my lesson,
Taking tips from girls like you
And boys like me,
Need time to see,
Not every flag
You wave is green,

But, for eyes like yours,
To shine like mine,
you must've also had
an awful time

I can write you a poem,
With a rhyme scheme you like,
Or paint you a picture,
With colors so bright,
I'll write you a song,
We can sing it together,
I'll be cliche,
And "I'll love you forever."
I'll send you roses,
I'll write you letters,
But, roses and thorns,
Are two birds of a feather,
And the letters I wrote you,
Were "Return to Sender"

First, you must realize,
That behind those blue eyes,
There is an anger starting to grow,
Though,
I cant help but smile,
When I hear it is going to snow,

A smile doesn't mean that you're happy,
Unless you're smiling from fear,
Afraid of finding a reason to smile,
And knowing it won't last the year,

There is something so soothing,
In the way the snow falls,
That's what kept us together,
Mourning death,
Awaiting the Fall,
But, I wish it could be winter forever.

Getting close to you
Was the feeling of flying,
Higher than I've ever been,
But, still I keep climbing,
Higher and higher,
My heart feels heavy.
Either we've gone too far,
Or I'm falling already.

Last year I would lay in your bed
Fall asleep dreaming
Of words that you said

"We can be happy"

Words we believed,
And today I still do
Though, When I wake
I'm not next to you
Still I dream
When seasons change
Too will your mind

Starry nights, Summer days,
You're energy; an Autumn haze,
I feel a breeze,
And when you speak,
Your voice shies me away
Cycles end,
Where seasons part
Yet when you speak
Your voice still,
Could shy,
My calm but, winter'd heart

I've grown to love these cloudy skies,
Because the stars remind me of you,
How sweet the world must be
To dim their shine

Acid drips from every word
You've ever begun to say.
And yet I was burdened
With the passionate desire to
STAY

She said " I love your eyes,
They are the perfect shade of blue.";
I sincerely smiled as I wondered-
Would she find  the beauty
Had she seen them from
My point of view?

Some kids collect coins and some collect cards,
A dull knife was always sharp enough,
To add to my collection of scars,
A reminder of both my strength and weakness,
Written in braille on my skin- my  suicidal thesis,
"Emotional ****** isn't a crime,
It's way to ****, without getting time",

My entire life was a chemical reaction,
One part neglect and two parts depression,
Chemistry students seemed to have all the answers,
Figuring out life's problems with their  teacher's valuation,
The kids like me- we had no appreciation,
The kids whose problems weren't solved with equations.

We were the freaks, the geeks-
Whatever they called us, We were the weak.
To us- pills were more than just a vaccination,
They were an escape from the world -
That looked down upon imagination,
For us- express yourself-  was an act
That had less to do with freedom,
And more with humiliation.


I didn't **** myself,
I only ended my life,
You gave me the scars- I just carried the knife.

The sun wont always shine,
And skies won't always clear,
But, shooting stars,
Are never far,
As long as you are near
So when you find,
That things seem dark,
And the days just fade away,
Use the shine,
That's in your heart,
And you'll never lose your way.