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975 · Oct 2019
g. forever ago
dog pillow Oct 2019
It’s endless summer
Fall won’t continue the trend
Come winter he weeps
690 · Dec 2020
untitled
dog pillow Dec 2020
last time we talked, we

said nothing of importance -

happy birthday wish
557 · Nov 2019
que sera sera
dog pillow Nov 2019
It’s been a long time since I’ve slept alone in the winter.

It makes me miss the snow.

And the freezing feet that touched my legs.

But you were still warm.

And so was I.

A familiar way the light shines through blinds.

A familiar way I say “I miss you” every night.

Whatever will be, will be.
351 · Oct 2019
gamsol gamble
dog pillow Oct 2019
The musty smell fills my nostrils and I am

Frustrated.

Lines don’t go where they belong and the paint won’t dry.

I love the brush like I love the paint.
Solemnly and with respect.

Smoothness rounds my movements
Shakiness fills my hands.

I want to feel how the oil feels
Powerful; purposeful.

But what remains of me is the canvas.
Blank and achingly abismal.
280 · Aug 2020
awake again
dog pillow Aug 2020
why is it always
her you find yourself wanting
when I’m not around
277 · Nov 2019
lost and
dog pillow Nov 2019
It finds me first
In the space beneath the lungs
A rapidly cycling movement
Trickles down, seeps like a sponge

The pressure lifts my breath up now
Faster
Faster
In and
Out

The feeling I have punches my gut,
And claws its way straight to the mind.

I wish what I’d found weren’t so devastating.
I wish I didn’t find it this time.
219 · Oct 2019
happy birthday, Pops
dog pillow Oct 2019
When I was 12, you saved me from the bees
That left my legs swollen, bites around my knees

The hose that held the nest was green
And you were tired

Ice cubes and baking soda
The venom can seep out now

But still, I grieve
Venom gone

Loss fills the stings.

Drained from my body
I ache for your laugh
And hairy kisses on my head from your mustache


I named a star for you.
To this day, it shines

I wish you could see it.
213 · Nov 2019
spiral
dog pillow Nov 2019
It seems to me that time is slipping;
Moving quickly and it’s already

Wednesday?

Have I ever felt time the way I felt you.

Will I grasp the waste of the winding clock?
Will I consume it by train of thought?

Day in. Day out.
Queue the violins.
182 · Oct 2019
22SEP2019
dog pillow Oct 2019
I am spoiled like curdled milk
Expiration
Desperation
Lost and cold in the fridge
When the light is off, and no one opens it

Consume me
Sickness follows
Sticky and embarrassing, I slide through
The cap is caked on
The fill, is

Half full
Half empty
A ritual of being forgotten

I am the mold in your fridge
The sickness in your stomach
And when you buy more
I’ll be gone
181 · Mar 19
?
dog pillow Mar 19
?
you’re confusing me

if “now” you say “is the truth”

what was it before
142 · Mar 19
the woman
dog pillow Mar 19
Her body was soft machinery

Each part taking on more than one could fathom

Flesh twisted and pushed and ripped and connected

Never clocking out from a shift


She was filled with colors to the brim, a wide rainbow of infinite finger paint

When she saw your imagination, her body spilled

It sloshed around through her fingertips and belly.

Her eyelids closed
And opened
And she saw you.

Iris and pupils spilling the contents of your thoughts.

It rained down her face and down on the earth below.

And softly, she lay still.
109 · Nov 2019
dad
dog pillow Nov 2019
dad
The date’s creeping up.
Scraping the corners of my thoughts,
Like the knife you used for butter

You gave me so much.
In one squeeze of your hand,
In a few words that escaped your aching throat,
In my entire life, you gave to me

Care.

You did all you could.
We did all we could.
But I.

I should have done more.
107 · Aug 2020
Untitled
dog pillow Aug 2020
unclench your hand when you sleep, my love.

you will feel better in the morning.
96 · Apr 2020
ticktock
dog pillow Apr 2020
My timing is always off
He knows this much is true.

I crept behind you and shoved you off
Ignored the feelings inside you.

Let’s go back a little while.
And remember our kindness too.

We always find the rope snaking back.
I’ve treated you so cruel.
77 · Aug 2020
jealousy
dog pillow Aug 2020
i keep looking for excuses to get upset.

and i wish i could stop finding them.
70 · Aug 2020
drunk in love
dog pillow Aug 2020
I feel off again.

I don’t feel myself, and
I don’t feel

Yourself.

Our selves are in cycles that rapidly change in the same way as my episodes.


Drunk with jealousy, I take another sip

And when I throw up, you catch it

— The End —