white knuckles
tighten my grip
can't lose control
hold my breath
hold it all in
do not let go
I cannot snap
close myself off
count back from ten
let my mind get lost
I cannot let it happen again
feels like the edges
are all coming undone
tiny cracks splintering
knuckles loosening
thoughts raging
I can feel it now
the anger
it's blossoming
showing its ugly face
can't control what I do next
I tried holding my breath
but I don't have any oxygen left
I don't know what you've heard
but if you say one more word
it will be with YOUR last breath

I* remember the feeling of waking up for nothing
                   The empty, gray taste everything had
        How I'd stare off
Out windows
Or across streets

                              I remember walking to the river
           And the grass not bending beneath my feet
              The current wouldn't change nor stop for me
   And I imagined it would always be this.
               Having everything I had always wanted right in front of me and it not matter

            I remember being stuck in the rain and not getting wet

         Watching
             Quietly accepting what was, and simultaneously not acknowledging what it meant.
    
        It was comfortable, but now *I want control.

He's damaged,
               Unfixable it seems
What others would call
                  nightmares
       Are his sweetest dreams
                And sometimes
  He takes his emotions
                               to
                            extremes
       It's so blatantly obvious
  When he finally
           breaks down
                    And screams
That the world
          brought him to his knees

                  He's a broken spirit.
       And I just don't know
   If my love
              can mend his soul
Or if my broken pieces
        Are enough to make
                                      him
                  ­                      whole.
       And if I use what
                       little I have left
To put him back together
                Won't that just
                                  leave me
      In a shattered pile of emotions
                   *forever?

Mindless nightmares
Soft, silent breath
Nobody there
Just awaiting **death

a new blueprint to future improvements
truth and illusion, rooting down to it
using my muse to fluid the movements
i do what i do and only i do it

i choose true views, crucial exclusives
a brutal but proven fuel for usage
a fuse for a boom and a noose for a nuisance
tooting no horns and soothing no prudence

a truant from the school of muted students
an astute pupil when getting down to it
using pure fusion and never diluted
i do what i do and only i do it

every day, speak a little less
reduce the number of words you say from half to
ten less, and then none at all.

Don't forget to be soft.
Kiss your mountaintop goodbye for
one last sunrise and descend
into the night
where it's quiet
like you should be.

one by one, pull back towards yourself
the orbs of energy you've left
bouncing around you in the
atmosphere.
be their chalice
one last time
and watch them burn out.

and when you're reduced to
dying ashes and deathly whispers
a strong voice will suddenly falter
and they wonder -
*didn't we once know a ... ?