You didn't see me watching you
from above.
I was hidden from your view.
there wasn't much space between us..
Just a staircase, a living room and
a large window pane.

Through the reflective glass,
With grand mountains looming behind,
a splendid horizon
and the afternoon sun's gentle glow,
I watched as you spoke kindly to my father.

Unaware of my eyes on you
your mouth moved softly,
and words were silenced
by the space between us.
Suddenly I was overwhelmed with feeling..
a deep and warm satisfaction rose
up in me,
perched there in my safe spot,
realizing that I can still care for you.

You with that charming smile
and charismatic presence.
Cool, calm, and collected
in that moment.
Not wild and beastly
Or ragingly mad
Like, to my grave dismay,
you sometimes are..

I savored that moment!
Knowing full well
that, like all moments,
It wouldn't last.
Realizing that love is,
above all ,
forgiving.
that you are still attractive to me,
that I can still love you deeply...

from a  beautiful distance.

                  ----

The deeper the love
The greater the transformation
At death

Lips sealed tight;
inside
a gaping chasm stares me down.
Patience!
When the abyss unleashes
like a dam unhinged
words will flow
for better or worse
from lips no longer just mine.

suppose you aren't assured of the next meal
upon your head rules the sky
maggots are feeding on your free will
better seems the option to die.

suppose you've none to give company
not a soul to call your own
days seem to crawl with no hurry
nights only make you more alone.

suppose open road is where you stay
sometimes a tree to beat the sun
people are bent on moving away
you've no home for day-end run.

suppose you've nothing called privacy
can't afford the luxury of shame
you relieve yourself for all to see
don't recall if you ever had a name.

suppose you've to scavenge from dustbin
your dignity is trampled like road's dirt
could they all make you feel a poem within
write a line crystalline in your heart?

One day I was asked, “what is Happiness?”
Words could not make its way out of my lips,
Ideas could not be constructed inside my head,
There was pure silence apart from the heavy sighs I was emitting,
I was totally dumbfounded.

But being a disturbed thinker that I was,
I began to sail in the rivers of my mind
And flew across the freeways of my thoughts.
I searched for the answer desperately
And I wouldn’t stop until I meet him face to face.

I came across Money.
He said he could me give me anything and bring me to anywhere.
“That is what happiness is all about – having everything and being everywhere”,
he told me. And I nodded.
Money must be right; he must be my happiness!

“No!” Knowledge screamed in complete disgust,
“With me, you will find all the answers you wish to seek!”
I could be someone, she guaranteed
And I would see things that others could not see
I would be superior above all mankind and that must be what happiness is about!

Relationship then came like a devouring fire,
“How dare you listen to them!” he said with a sting.
“I have been with you from the moment you set your eyes upon the world
Families, friends, beloved – without me, you won’t know what joy is
I am your only happiness.”

To be fair, I made a company of them all,
But all failed to give me a satisfying answer.
Money blinded me about the importance of little things.
Knowledge consumed my heart and brought me so much pride it led to my downfall.
Relationship took all of me; didn’t leave anything for myself and run away.

Then He came knocking at my door,
As I was wretchedly crying my heart out.
He told me He knew the answer to my question,
I told Him, “No! I have searched for it
But there was no answer.”

“I am the answer”, He simply said.
“I won’t give you happiness,
But I will make you know and experience it.”
And He did by dying for me 2,000 years ago.