Loving someone is carrying the burden of their sadness on your back so they can have a chance to breath even if it is suffocating you

I know no one's perfect
But is it really worth it
Just for a picture in your wallet?
Plastered on happy faces
Don't even know what day it is
Was there even a good reason for it?
You deny the lies behind the walls
While truths fall on center stage
Got the applause, but this ain't a game
And when the lights fade
You'll be regretting every decision you ever made
Life ain't just a picture or a keepsake
It's standing right in front of you
And you gotta live with every choice you make

This pencil
This paper
Looks just like coke and razors

I write so much I can't feel your kiss
I'm not attached to humanity
Except through this bleeding heart
That I'm slowly whittling away
It's taking shape of something so ******* beautiful

But you always say I'm killing myself
That I'm in denial
Crocodile tears and a plastic smile
For a while you fool yourself into thinking you're right
For a while you fall for your own *******

This apathy
These scars
Tattoos of times I've been torn apart

I ache for human touch
But every nerve has been severed
I close myself inside
Your ****** up mind
And watch your memories in silence
What we made is so decayed and rotten
We denied life to what we'd forgotten
I can't look at my reflection without slitting its throat
I remember what you told me and I quote:

But you always say I'm killing myself
That I'm in denial
Crocodile tears and a plastic smile
For a while you fool yourself into thinking you're right
For a while you fall for your own *******

This love
Those emotions
Can't find which hole in my heart they go in

I balance my life on the edge of a blade,
I get cut and nicked
No matter which turn I take
I'm teetering, watching myself bleed
It leads me to believe that smile was always fake
There was no right time to deny the lies I regretted
Self destruction was the first defense I hated
As I see all these lines blurred in my head
Thinking back to what you said...

But you always say I'm killing myself
That I'm in denial
Crocodile tears and a plastic smile
For a while you fool yourself into thinking you're right
For a while you fall for your own *******

Does hate stay entwined in the back of your mind?
Is one of a kind love permanently etched in time?
Could death be the end of an idea
Even if it's never born?
Is life given from the inside
Before it's given the chance to form?

Some things can never end,
All things in life deserve the chance to breathe.
An idea, a feeling, even the things you never see.

There's gotta be more than all this waiting
I know I'm being impatient
But I need this to be over
It's so frustrating
Not giving into the temptation
Where's my life been?
How did everything get this complicated?
I'm jaded and frustrated
Feels like my whole life is just wasted
I need to simplify,
I'm not obligated but I got this emotional need
To just breathe, take in the scenery
Before everything in my life
Finally escapes me

Nothing that I see
Could be as beautiful as thee
Even the sweet breeze between the trees as we sleep
It could never carry me as far as your kiss in the rain
I could never wake from this midnight dream
And if I did I would only speak your name
All of this waiting
Every patient moment another illuminating grain of
sand falls through the frame of an hour glass

                      And hours pass between goodbyes and hellos,
                       but it only feels like a second every time I get a dose

                                              Of you.