He had left me exposed to cold.
Tender bruises from him.
Purple flesh I hardened fast.
I became my tower.
And when he tried to climb, cajole
I learned to breathe my fire.

Bruises shrunk inside of stone.
Flung fire kept me warm.
Safe and sound in solitary
I was able to build more.

The tower became a beauty
scales that shined like steel.
Enthralled and patient for me
I had to let you in.
In your eyes and steady hands
I saw the could have been.

But dragons only tear and shred
their only warmth will burn.
You barely escaped with your life.
Leaving me to learn

That I can watch from towers tall
Anchored shining in cold stone
Safe and sound and always right
Totally alone.

You left
I''l leave you

But I climb down from the tower

In the palest pink of flayed flesh
I read the ways I failed.
Now I walk forward and away.
Shedding shining scales.

I only have tables
Everything else is on the lawn
Or long gone.
It's clean of echoes,
Spacious.
I can't stand to look in mirrors
And can only guess at what I feel
In gloves
That snap and catch on edges and
Slide and slip when wet.
Empty for all but tables
And instruments
Built from invisible theory.
Periodically I wish to sit
Or crumple to the floor
Exhausted, empty
Machines beeping above my head
Independent of my gloved touch.
I wonder where my flesh
And feeling
Fit amongst the many tomes
And years studying these cells.
For now I am not still
Laid out on a table
I am alive.

I have you under my fingers
in my eyes
between my lips.
You live
as mine
gifted on a platter.
Its sweeter than tears and shaking.
But you don't know
just how deep my knife drawers go.
That these broken pieces in me
grind tirelessly like gears
anything that falls inside.
You say
"its not that bad."
Walking it off
But I can see that helpless hope
shining, falling from your eyes.
And somehow
You're all mine.
You're so blinded
you will lead me out of here.

I knew you.
you're an artist but
the words you blow and bend into being
knock me to the floor
to shatter
as a glittering landscape
of venom sinking in deep
twisting my veins
accustomed to the numb ache of doubt
the remembered you
is brittle from evaporated trust.
the masterpiece of others falling
is your fuel.
needing the heat
you **** us all dry.
you're an artist
you can make
anything.
So why
make me feel small?