It was two in the morning.
He sat so close to me,
There was no room to breathe.
His head rested on my shoulder,
His hand was lain over my thigh.
And we just sat there.
My heart was beating a mile a minute.
I wanted nothing more,
Than to be sitting there with him all night.
But then he kissed me.
It felt so different from anyone else.
He took my breath away...
I didn’t want it to end...
But the sun must show her face eventually.
After that night something changed.
Sure i liked him before,
But after that night,
He never left my mind.
I didn’t want anyone else,
But he did.
He didn’t want a relationship,
He just wanted the ****** things.
Like i was just there for his pleasure.
But i didn’t care.
It was three in the morning.
I fell asleep on the couch in an uncomfortable way.
Then he grabbed me and let me sleep on him. We laid there,
We cuddled,
We kissed.
I want him.
When I envision my future,
All i can see is him.
I can see him on our date.
I can see him at the end of the aisle in a tux,
Next to a preacher.
I can see him kissing my massive stomach that holds his daughter.
I can see us sitting on the front porch as an elderly couple.
When i think of the future,
I can see him..
I would die for him,
I would **** for him,
I would do everything in my power to make sure he is okay.
I would do anything for him.
But i don’t think he would do the same...
I love him...
And i hate it.
I’ve tried being in relationships.
But i can never give my all
Because most of me belongs to him.
My heart,
My body,
My soul.
I only want him,
And him i can’t have..
He doesn’t want me...

“You’re worth so much more”
“*** isn’t what everyone wants from you”
“You’re body isn’t the only reason guys like you”

If it isn’t,
Then please tell me,
Why every guy that talks to me
Winds up wanting to **** me?
I’ve been told all my life,
That it’s okay to say no.
That no means no.
But when it really comes down to it?
It’s really hard to say no.
Especially when everyone just wants to keep their ***** warm.
Selfish
Rude
Pure
*****
All of these things are things that I have been called
Because I said no.
I’m selfish because my body isn’t meant for just me,
It’s meant for every man that wants to touch it.
Rude because “no” is a violent word.
Pure because I must be untouched if I don’t want to *****.
***** because I’m no fun and keep it covered.
My worth is not determined by how many people want to **** me.
My worth is not determined by how my body makes others feel.
My worth is not determined by my body.
My worth is not determined by you.
So stop thinking it is.

Ladies,
It’s okay to say no.
Don’t let anyone touch your body that you don’t want.
Communicate with your significant other.
Tell them what you like,
Tell them what you don’t like.
And as cliche as it sounds,
No means no!
Because even though you might get called names,
Or told that you’re just being selfish,
It’s not true.
And if they say things like that to you,
Then they don’t respect you.
And why would you want someone who doesn’t respect you,
Find out what you look like underneath the clothes that armor you?

she was lain on my bed,
fully clothed,
and **** at the same time.
**** because I've seen her,
the true her.
**** because her smile was natural,
not forced.
her laugh was intoxicating,
her voice was addicting.
the simple touch of her hand,
brought fire among my skin.
I've seen her,
and never have I ever,
seen someone as beautiful as she.
she was lain on my bed,
and now it smells like her.
so now as I lay me down to sleep,
I hug my pillows and covers to me.

You know.
It's true what they say.
That once you fall asleep in the arms of your lover,
You can't sleep alone anymore.
Something doesn't feel right.
Something is always off.
The feel of her body,
Her warmth,
Her breath,
As she lays behind me,
Clutching on to my waist,
Is a feeling that gets you intoxicated just thinking about it.
Gets you high without realizing it.
You do that once,
You can't not do it again.
Because then you'll constantly feel alone.
In the dark.
Always thinking back to a time,
When she was lain behind you,
And when she held you close,
So close that you almost morph into one.
So now as I lay here,
Clutching onto a pillow that smells of her,
I keep hoping that this pillow,
Will turn into her,
So that I don't have to sleep alone tonight.

she's up on the
bathroom counter.
her head is tilted back.
lips slightly parted.
her back arched,
hands gripping the edge,
chest heaving,
heavily breathing,
my lips graze her collarbone.
leaving little bruises
down her neck.
making a trail down
her body.
my lips return to her lips.
my hands find their way to her waistline.
she and I are kissing
(the French would be proud)
my fingers delicately
touch her flower.
a moan escapes her lips
and into my mouth.
I gently rub her petals
until she starts to shake
she can't keep her mouth quiet.
her flower is dripping nectar
all down her stem
I smile and crouch down
to taste the nectar
oh, so sweet.

your eyes,
hungrily
look into mine
you slam me
up against
the wall.
your lips on my
collarbone.
your hands under my shirt
a craving
I can't be rid of
a need
I can not satisfy
a want
I can not have.
these thoughts consume me
every time I see you
I crave you
I need you
I want you
but I can't have you.

I'm a visitor,
in my own body.
just a mere soul
entrapped in
skin,
and flesh,
and bones.
but I never thought
that you would make
me feel that way.
you made me feel like
I didn't belong to myself.
you made me feel like
I belonged to you.
you did as you wanted.
you came and went as you
pleased.
you put your hands
on my body
when you were mad,
and when you were craving lust.
all I could say when asked was,
"He treats me as I deserve to be"
I'm a visitor
in my own body.
but you?
you had permanent residence.
until you lost interest
in what you saw
when you saw someone else.
I suddenly was not what you
wanted.
you no longer satisfied your
lust filled cravings with me.
but you kept me around for anger.
until I fond out you had someone else.
so you left me,
your broken toy,
and moved onto a new one
while calling me
a *****,
a *****,
a good-for-nothing cheater.
And Everyone Believed You