“She rewards me with tears and an agitation of hands.
I am important to her. She comes and goes.
Each morning it is her face that replaces the darkness.
In me she has drowned a young girl, and in me an old woman
Rises toward her day after day, like a terrible fish.”
- Sylvia Plath*

The evening is so dull.
Too many plain words can describe this night.
I think I just might become her or she
Might already be a part of me.
My eyes crawl over her perfected letters.
Together, they all read so divine.
She is so divine it affects me.

Divinity swells my eyes.

I should care more about tonight.
A night like this will never come again.
In heaven I will be dreaming about this night
As I squalor in gods light.In hell it will be my happy place
As the fire blisters swell.
As the devil hovers over my made bed.
While his demon breath caresses my neck.

I can hear words.
Coming in from the west and settling
******* my chest.They weigh my heart down.
Tonight is heavy.
Tonight is the only night.

Dreams like distant shadows crawl up willow trees
And as I follow in pursuit I tend to make believe
Love,
Love me also and bless this heart that cannot heal
But place the blame on who cannot tell her how this heart does feel
I fell into her,
Out of minutes,
Out of matter,
Out of mind
She spoke and the summer went out of style
And like this dream, this distant shadow
The truth is so absurd
The meaning of my love for her exceeds a thousand words
So love
If you should last, I’ll stay up in this tree
But if it is not meant to be, catch me when I fall
Like water catches leaves

One child, two child, three child, four
Who could that be, knocking at my door?
Smoke creeping through the crack
Thick like a fog, can't find my way back.
The poison weaves its way around me
Crawling up like five leaf ivy.
*****, putrid, filthy, mean
Love how it's glowing that hypnotic green.
Their eyes are red, I know they're hooked
Can't get enough of how it looks.
Love how they smile, love how they sing
Love how their actions make my heart sting.
Dancing around me, grinning like *******
Trying to coax me with their laughter.
I refuse! I refuse! I refuse to ****!
Why don't you see you're making me choke!
Keep on whispering in my ear
Keep on ignoring that one small tear.
I swear I won't listen, I'm not going to follow
I see your face and it's hard to swallow...
You finally give up and the smoke uncoils
All of you leave; to the victor go the spoils.

I thought
Everything was wonderful.
Infallible.
I lived my life with a blindfold
I didn’t
Know where to go without it.

I thought all would be well.
I thought someone would
Come rescue me
From this
Hell of a life.

I thought
Maybe
I loved you.

But feelings change
True colours fade
And black and white
All turns to gray
And I though
Different than I knew.

Where do we find solace?
Where do we
Find reading nooks
Filled with books
That we love
More than friends?

I know
That everything was messed up.
I’m aware
Of all my faults and fears
Irrational and fears inevitably,
Controlling life,
And all those
Feelings.

I know
That my world was shattered,
When you cut the chord.
And like glass,
Shards pierced my heart
And I am
Bleeding from the soul.

I know
That I did not
Love you.

Were do we find solace?
Where do we find
Puddles deep
Enough to splash
Sorrow away?

Step 1:  Understand that you are powerless when it comes to love
Step 2:  Open your heart to love or there is no chance to love or be loved
Step 3:  When in love there is no return to sanity
Step 4:  Turn matters of love over to the heart, your mind will lose anyway
Step 5:  Take inventory of why you feel this love (will help in future step)
Step 6:  Admit to yourself the exact nature of this love
Step 7:  Realize that love is worth the risk of all heartaches
Step 8:  Never put off love, act on it, tomorrow may be to late
Step 9:  Conjure up courage and then proceed to step 10
Step 10:  Express your love, use the inventory from step 5 as a guide
Step 11:  Be prepared for anything, you may or may not get the response you seek
Step 12:  Repeat step 1:  understand that you are powerless when it comes to love