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Mar 2017 · 876
"You can do this"- I tell myself

I gasp for breath,
I am amazed and dazed,
Let me rephrase-

"You can do this"- I lie to myself,
(Oh, what a compulsive liar I am.)

I rush to my desk,
And my hands wait to be knighted.

Take it, feel it- and run it

D o w n,

Your beautiful wrists,
What a shame of your personhood.

My desk has seen the unabashed,
People call me a ******,
People call me a maze.

My mind sinks in turmoil,
And my hands seem like Calpurnia's dream,

It's terrifying.
But beautiful.
Self harm is never supposed to be glamourized.
Feb 2017 · 1.1k
Wood and Ebony
Let's make these fingers play,
Across eighty-eight keys of wood and ebony,
In perfect, scale, rhythm and harmony.
Decipher the dots and dashes,
And break all the rules,
once you know all the clashes.

You could learn,
From the masters of this game,
Probably Beethoven,
Who played it with honesty and power;

Or Chopin,
Who played it with delicateness,
And poetry;

Or even Liszt,
Who played without hesitation,
          And to woo women;        
Or Rachmaninoff,
Who used his sizely hands,
To the fullest,  
Using clean moves and precision.

There are many masters of this game,
But I promise,
                     It's the only game which will keep you,               

*Till the very end.
Pianists are wonderful people.
Sep 2016 · 3.8k
My dearly beloved
Hair like sunshine dust,
Shining like a gleam of light,
I could play with them forever.

Voice so addictive,
Even drugs can't get me so high.

You set me free,
Free from the worries of the world,
I feel like an autumn leaf,
Flying from one place to another,
Not caring about the tree.

When I look into your eyes,
I see a blue lagoon,
Deep and peaceful,
Calm yet powerful.

The guitarist,
To my heart strings,
Is you, my dearly beloved.
Aug 2016 · 7.6k
I am Anti Social
I am anti-social,
I choke at social gatherings,
My breath feels nothing more than lies ,
The lies when people's words,
Sublime into air.

While everyone brags about,
The last time the Sapiens
Had a good time,
I comfortablly drift off,
Into my little Pluto,
Of words, poetry and music.

I am there,
Yet I am not there.

People think I'm a snob,
The Sapiens think I'm lazy,
But what do they know,
The happiness in solitude.

I am anti social,
And the last thing,
I could care about,
Is You.
Sigh 1:30 am is an odd time to be alive.
Aug 2016 · 821
C'est Difficile
Why do I still try?

This love is like halaal
Everyday a bit of me dies
Whilst it keeps stabbing me
Bit by bit.

Now I feel like
A lone cloud
Drifting away into my paradise
Of filth and dark air.

I am standing on a cliff
And on either sides
I know I will be woebegone.

What do I do?

**How do I tell you I love you?
Love is painful.
Aug 2016 · 479
Uncle Anxiety visits me
Where do I find peace of mind

In the crevices of deep thoughts

Or in pointless banter?

When someone pulls my love handles

Or in the last breath before I sleep?

When I recite stories to a rock

Or when I walk free

off the dependence on the greater powers?

When I relish old pictures

Or when I lose myself in the memories of music?

When do I really feel at peace?

All I taste is my own breath
Pacing faster than my thoughts

I wish I could describe what anxiety feels like.
Anxiety is greater than me.
Aug 2016 · 1.1k
Thatha (Grandpa)
I wish everyone had a grandfather like you,
Who could understand me in ways,
The world wouldn't.

I am so glad to have you in my life,
Days full of blithe are replaced by sunshine.

Everytime I talk to you,
You listen to me patiently,
Feels like the rain is gone,
And the summer is back.

You've loved me and supported me,
Ever since childhood,
And deciphered every little thing I've felt.

And I am so thankful to have you in my life,
Nobody knows what I would have done without you!
Happy birthday, thatha. Thanks for all the love.
Aug 2016 · 831
I really love the darkness
Don't you think the sky is beautiful
When it's dark
I really love it when the sky is dark
Makes me realise that the stars really exist.

When the sun shines in the day
I forget that the sun is a star too.

But when I see the stars at night
It reminds me of all the good things in life
So distant and so far
Almost part of history.

But it makes me realise that they existed before
And I hope they come in the days I see.
If I see the days of future.

Maybe this sun will burn me up
Maybe this overwhelming heat will **** me
That I won't make it to the night


I hope I find myself in someone's dark sky
As a star
Can I be a star?
Aug 2016 · 1.5k
Where is the pianist in me
Where is the overly-enthusiastic musician
Who'd pick up any lyrics
And make it into a song.

Where did I lose my words
Where did I lose my will to write
Where did I lose my courage
To cry my heart out on a piece of paper
And bleed my fingers on a guitar-string.

Where did I lose my random scribbles
Where did I lose my unabashed thoughts
Which I would often lash out on empty canvases.

When did my creative block
Turn me into a mechanical machine
And make me forget that
My right brain works better than the left one.

Where did I lose my faith
In this ****** human race
Where did I lose my friends
My family
And all those who loved me?

Where did I lose my
and when did I lose myself
To anxieties and the blues?

Is this real or a dream?

Where did I lose my courage to live?
Can someone find it for me?
I should stop over-thinking.
Oct 2015 · 588
In love
Because* of you,
I am here,
Or here at all, honestly.

On those cold winter days,
There is someone,
Who'd sit next to you,
And the warmth when your knees rub,
Is enough to melt the snow away.

Your irises,
Aren't just eyes!
And your lips,
Aren't just lips.

They make you,
And break me.

Every time I see you,
My heart breaks,
Because this work of art that I see,
Isn't exclusive to me.

Just like the seas stay still,
And billions of starts and hearts admire them,
Only the fishes really know,
How deep they are.

Your rhapsodic voice elates me,
Even when times are tough,
Just an aloha,
Keeps my clock going.

Sometimes I wish,
You get to see all that I see,
Even though it's just our first step,
**There are a zillion conversations to keep.
When you're in love :)
Oct 2015 · 513
Sometimes I wish

I could wipe away my face

This face of pretense happiness

No eyes, no nose and no lips

Just a face that's eclipsed.

And what you say resonates through me

Every word you say

Echoes through every cell in me

Yet, I live in my own universe.
Sometimes it is alright to feel miserable and not know what's causing it.
Jan 2015 · 662
You are like Satan's spell

Why do you make our lives such hell

On your fingers you make us dance

Whatever you think is our inescapable chance

Your ogre like figure has made my veins slain

Life is not such a big game

I know you like the women of the night

But I'm too scared to put up a fight

You're not bad, only your eyes pry

*Please, don't make my mother cry.
Jan 2015 · 708
She loves you?
Well here I am,
Ring a bell?
I'm the same person,
Who made you well,
You've moved on,
Immensely quick,
That now I feel like,
A burnt wick,
She loves your hair,
She loves your smile,
But don't forget that,
I was there all this while.
Dec 2014 · 1.2k
When will we improve?
When will I understand,
And learn to live and work,
Dear school will you teach me,
In these textbooks I lurk.

While Rosa Parks sat still,
And Fleming found penicillin,
Remember how great they are?
Raise our standards, cross the bar!

Studying twenty-four hours a day,
All work and no play,
Why do we do this only for marks,
There is knowledge, in the dark.

All you make us do,
Is derive this and that,
In the future in my cubicle,
I'll being having पराँठे to get fat.

These egotistical teachers,
They make me cry,
All I hear in the staff room,
Is पुलाव and दाल fry.

You go on with the system,
You go on with the lies,
Why don't you let us think!
Even we have minds.

These benzene rings and oxidation states,
Will never help me with taxes,
Theoretical imaginary waves & motions,
Make me a complete राक्षस!

Five thousand equations to integrate,
But all we do is differentiate,
This religion and that religion,
"It's all in my fate!"

Why don't we do something,
For the ever growing community,
Yes, the same society,
That doesn't let us break free.

Do you ever wonder,
Why our country is so poor,
There's a shortage of lawmakers,
And the government is run by actors.

My whole degree will be,
A complete joke,
No matter how much I study,
I'm just the "fresher" bloke.

I got ninety-seven percent,
In the prestigious class twelve,
Yet my IQ is,
As much as a बैल!

Why do you think eveyone is stupid,
And engineers smart,
I think studying Humanities,
Is a work of art.

These teachers think I'm obnoxious,
Just because I don't talk,
One day I'll prove something,
And on their face I'll walk.

I can't memorize these problems,
Don't forget, I too have a brain,
It isn't a big harddisk,
But at least, it isn't a grain.
पराँठे (paranthe) -An Indian bread filled with mashed boiled potatoes
पुलाव (pulao)- A rice dish
दाल (dal)- Cooked lentils
राक्षस (raakshas) - monster
बैल (bail)- bullock

— The End —