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The sea
frightens
me.

Too deep
wide
dark
ice
wet
filled with
creatures

It does
not stop.

Kisses sweetly
the sandy
shoreline:
Is it teasing
or begging
forgiveness?

It cannot
stop.

My fear
lies in the
immensity of
its depths
and
in the
thought that
pleasing or
pleading

The ocean
will kiss
the shoreline
-always-
with a frothy
caress
People say that time heals the heart
But I believe that is not always true
Because it has been so long since you left me
Standing there on my front porch
With mascara running down my face
And my heart still in your hands
And your breath still lingering on my lips

Time never heals
It only leaves scars
That with memories left behind
Will burst open again at the seams
And replay themselves in my head
Over and over again
Like a broken record
Or and old black and white movie
And with time
Will devour me from the inside
Have you ever had to come
to the realization that
the ex that you broke up with,
ended up "winning" pre split.
I never for a second,
thought at the time that I
would be anything but
extraordinary,
and that life would be
exciting.
I was supposed to be
extra ordinary.
The next thing I'm going to
hear, is that he's engaged to
be married to a beautiful
red head with long hair,
and eyes that are excentuated
perfectly with little eye liner
and mascara.
And is everything I am
still trying to be.
It's not even that I regret
leaving him,
it's that I turned out to be
the loser,
who's still living at home with
her parents,
works a terrible fast food job,
and has no money,
no adventures,
a dull love life.
It's just a terrible feeling
when one day you realize,
you lost.
Depression is like quick sand
You don't know you've walked right into it
Until you start sinking
And you can't get out
The day I started to actually breathe
Was the day that you took those breaths away from me
Those breaths became shallow
And jagged
Like my lungs were craving
The sweet taste of oxygen
Air
That only you could deliver to me
Through your soft lips
And hands that explored places I never thought it would
But then came the day
That the air through your lips
And the feeling of your hands
On my rough skin
Left me for the last time
And on that same day
I finally took the blade to my pale skin
And took my last breath I would ever take
On this living hell we call the world
Someone once said to me
"The sky is sad, just like your eyes."
I've just come to understand this
That the reason the sky is so sad
Is because the heat of the sun
Leaves it's dark depths every night
Just like you
When you left me standing there
That cold winters night
In the frightening depths
Of my own terrifying thoughts
And years of feelings
That visit me every night
In my head
And tear me apart
From the inside out
You gave me a million reasons to leave
But you always gave me one to stay
You broke me
In ways no one could fathom
But I held on
To the cliff that was you
Until one day
I decided
To fall into its murky depths
And let the water
Take me away
And into the deep
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