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Long drives, chai and that heavy metal song

Days may have been shorter but those nights always felt long

Wonder why these little things

Pinch every moment I live today

With every breath chasing answers

Every prayer cajoling you to still stay

Every day, since you left, feels unreal,

something I refuse to always believe

It shocks me how my mind sets those dark deals

Contemplating your choice to instantly leave

Nights are sleepless, as days pass by

Yet nothing remains other than the regret of those past lies

My heart sinks recalling every memory we shared

Can't even describe how living this life has never made me this scared.

The world without you was still as normal as before

But in my head, it all felt as if I sank just a tad bit more

As I stepped out of those four walls into reality

I left a piece of my broken self among those closed doors

Voices are silenced and memories have faded like sawdust in the air

You've gone to stars, as my fingers tremble to see you there.

That urge to strongly get out of here

never thought it would make me fear

Every word I said repeats constantly inside

As regret fills me up and my will to live dies

Was sort of pain already never enough

You had to teach me this lesson as you rest in the heavens above

Wish I could show you what it felt like

to feel what you've made me feel in this very time

Tarnishing my ability to internally heal

Feeling like I was worth less than a dime

Crying, sobbing, reminiscing isn't abnormal in these stages

Grief is so wholesome, it fades but never ages

Wounds feel as fresh as new as they hit my heart

Rewind is so addictive, can't begin to restart

Dark nights or sunny days

Stormy sights alongside a summery haze

Nothing matches up to such harsh goodbyes

Except me asking a thousand whys

Eventually, I know we'll all find something new to taste,

a new perspective that'll never go to waste,

yet welcoming this novel self that I become,

closes a portion of me that's so tight and numb

Every morning I ask God a million questions

About what may have possibly gone wrong

Agonising this personal invasion

And feeling as if nowhere is where I truly belong

With no answers but teary eyes,

that forcefully shut through these terrible mental bytes,

of familiarity that sticks to you being around,

my new normal is so unbearably drowned

I've been walking on this

never-ending highway to a living human hell,

With a drop of inevitable trauma and

the feeling of frozen body cells

There's a space that remains empty

That possibly can't be refilled

I hope you forgive me gently

As closure defeats the intuitive guilt

The human body has been known to forget

To restart, refresh, retake and reset

But no film matches to the ****** of this one

You were so much more than what can't now be undone

I'm obviously progressing through the present as it may seem,

but that night, that decision, that action still is as if it were a dream,

when the trauma shall surpass, the memories appear,

never had the thought of losing you this year

You're the memory I'll never forget,

those days we spent can't be over just yet,

truth is you ain't here anymore,

you've left too soon and will be missed to the core
Suicide is a really harmful decision. It may leave you in peace but your loved ones remain in pieces.
It was a bright sunny day
when he came to me
we had a lot to say
and something interesting to see

we walked and created a river of memories
that we could look up to
and in a day it made me full of worries
as the time swiftly flew

It's quite easy to break a bond
especially at the start
where one side only responds
and the other breaks apart

It is wishful to think of it as a dream
that should have not been true
so I close my eyes to that beam of light
and open them to see a million skies that were blue
Here's what happened on a typical bright sunny day, conversations, moments & memories.
Closing my eyes to enter a new planet
and explore all that comes my way
wearing clothes that are perfectly fit me
moving ahead to watch what the people say

Early in the morning comes out the sun always
Bright and dim are two games it plays
puts a smile on its face as it gives out light
the moon beautifully overcomes it at night

To add to the brightness of the moon
comes a collection of shiny stars
that grace the night with their appearances as well
as maybe also fulfil wishes that were someday ours
Here's a little wordplay on the days that turned to nights.
That message I sent
On a random cosy night
Laying in my bed
And you gave it a sight
From a single dm
To texting every day
Those Long WhatsApp VNs
Gosh we had so much to say
That was all we had
In this modern-day

Maybe I'll never forget
That wink emoji you sent
Nothing ever made me blush
And forget everything that I had to vent

Hugging you for that one last time
Pretending for a moment that you were mine
Life is quite strange these days
Technology holds the power to your smile in so many different ways

For you aren't around now yet
Each memory we shared stays
In my heart and amidst my gallery in a phase
Covering everything from where we ate to where we met

Sometimes I'll stare at the sky
Wondering what would make you smile
Asking my self just the reason why
Are you away from me, a thousand miles

Is this the fate of our lasting bond
one side breaks apart and another one responds
was it the situation or the distance at play
for us not texting each other throughout the day

Maybe expecting that notification is my definite mistake
for not everyone can live up to this false piece of cake
There's not a day where I don't think of you
not an effort gone by where I wish all this was still new

It's strange how quickly special turns to normal these days
what once meant the world to me is now just a blurry haze
Despite all this, I shall keep waiting each day
for you to be back in just the same way

Those Long WhatsApp VNs
Gosh we had so much to say
That was all we had
In this modern-day
After all, we're just those people waiting for that one message, that one call, that one notification of the person that our heart beats for. Although your heart could beat for many, many of us just have that special someone who can just make us smile.
The precious and deep looking eyes
look for a land of love
the woman says here he lies
in the deep blue sky above.

He touches me with a sense of hope
that my love is a land of vast eternity
he uses the most tightened rope
which pulls me with certainty

Two people a single soul they say  
however, hate or love are feelings that bend
like life is a very very long day
as in a moment, memories descend
I close my eyes to that story I hear
that very well struck a chord
the characters to me were very near and dear
to me and thy lord

Please play me a very minor fret
that just sounds almost right
and with this tune, we shall get set
to play it pure and to play it white.

Look into my luscious lips
and to how deep red they are
pray for the best of me u see
with a different taste every time
sometimes sweet sometimes sour
A poem on what it feels like in a land full of love

— The End —