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717 · Oct 2018
monster inside my head
Dika Agustin Oct 2018
I kept trying to run away from
the monster inside my head,
and I tried finding the triggers which
consume me more often.
Torn apart, and I screamed
but silence you heard.
I know no one can help,
I can't even blame myself
for feeling this way,
the more I fight it,
the more my heart bleeds.
To be honest,
I don't understand myself
for the way I think, the way I feel,
somehow I want to be alone
or just be invisible.
See, I couldn't acknowledge myself
the way you thought I am,
because no one else could.
489 · May 2018
Dika Agustin May 2018
your words, your poems were too sweet
even I did believe in every single line of it
but it's not worth for me to read
I doubt if you truly meant it
for what you wrote for me

I was hard to let go
as all I care was you
but you played a game
which I didn't want to play

I was trying hard to keep you
even I destroyed myself piece by piece
just to continue on

now I love the way my body feels
as I do not feel drained at all
for you already set me free

now I do not seek your words
or even your love
I'll try to put together
the shattered parts of me
as my mental health is my priority
373 · May 2018
our love
Dika Agustin May 2018
uneasy to love sounded like me
a girl who has an emotional Roller-coaster
simply hard to be understood.

for me, love is not just romantic love
not as simple a thing
it can be exhausting, overwhelming
when I stumble can't communicate everything.

but the thing that unbelievable is how you can love me,
but darling you could.
sometimes I'm too selfish because I couldn't see.
I blamed myself, why am I being selfish?

with you, you brought me home to my soul
you reach out my heart, gives me so much love
my heart isn't growing, only you make it bloom.

I'm sorry I love you so
makes me afraid to lose you
but you kept trying to make me believe
that life is in our sides
you want me to breathe and enjoy the ride.
244 · Sep 2018
white lies
Dika Agustin Sep 2018
she bought his words
which full of white lies
my dear, my sweetheart
it's okay to end
the game he plays,
it's okay to move.
wash your mind,
clean his name.
I'm not saying it's easy
it's gonna caused you
so much pain,
till you bleed,
and if it's not okay today
but it will tomorrow,
and you'll heal.
inspired by the girl who texted me
241 · May 2018
Dika Agustin May 2018
everything became strange
while I tried to remember
every detail of you
just to bring back
all the dream memories

the feeling consumed me
the whole situation
poisoned my heart

you pushed me over
the edge of our boat
and let me sink
into the ocean of doubt

I don't know what to believe
while you hold me the way you do
but why you make me hesitate
and pretend like you don't want
to be part of our dreams
187 · Jul 2018
Dika Agustin Jul 2018
dance moves broke
the silence of rendezvous,
every dream blooms,
bring new light in life.
a flourish of colour,
the calmness of the soul.
169 · May 2018
Dika Agustin May 2018
the clock rotates faster
I'm chasing possibility in every second
for I don't want to run out of time
growing up, growing old
wondering where all the season went
so many things I want to know
so many things I want to do
but here I am, stuck in my head and,
I still can't find the right answer
or maybe there's no end.
160 · May 2018
Dika Agustin May 2018
when the earth
did me harm
I looked up,
I still have the sky.
if I could tell you,
my sadness
more like clouds,
I'm waiting
to passing by
then gone.
159 · Oct 2018
Dika Agustin Oct 2018
You are a thousand miles away,
but it doesn't mean
I can't feel you and your love.
Distance just for people
who don't believe in
a power of soul connection.
I don't know how many times
they say to me that
we are not meant to each other,
but they forget, they are just a human
who can't decide our destiny.
I don't fear the future anymore,
today is my forever,
and if tomorrow we are
possible to meet,
then let's celebrate it,
maybe we are meant to be.
125 · Jan 8
she is not insane
Dika Agustin Jan 8
she is not insane,
she just loves the one
you think she doesn't
deserve or even real.
she is not insane,
just her beliefs are bigger
than the universe.
she is not insane,
all she wants is true love
who won't run away
after seeing her monster
not a big pocket or
even a prince charming.
she is not insane,
for she knows herself
more than anyone does.
she is not insane,
she just loves to show
her feelings,
but all you do mock her
for you think
she is a drama queen.
she is not insane,
she just wants to live
her life on her own
but no one understands.
to the girl who has been told not looking the perfect one

— The End —