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dichotomous Aug 9
the disease turned the sky gray
and our forests into highways
stained the passing cars with blood
with those who continued along old paths
while the rest of us hid anticipating the hunter
  Aug 5 dichotomous
"I only cry over things that aren't real,"
she says with a soft frown
"It's the only thing that I feel
I relate to more than reality."

I nod and watch the wall
"It seems whenever I need to cry
Nothing comes at all
and all my strength is gone."

she smiles and speaks
"I find I cry to easily
and my laugh is always weak
And not as frequent."

I fiddle with my knife
"I laugh to much, and at the wrong times
but can't cry to save a life
even when I want to."
dichotomous Aug 5
the movie was saturation
dialogue like poetry
people like greek goddesses
when the dog died my
eyes filled up like wells
but the movie wasn't real
just a mask the world wears
to laugh at itself in the echo chamber
it only became real when I let it
dichotomous Aug 1
you are a
who hides the same dilemmas
behind a mask of
clear skin.
smooth hair.
and toned stomach.
who may not lose weight
but will always count the calories
who won't hide for hours
but is "tired" when she needs to be
who learns to communicate
but never speaks unless prompted
and who studies the same sad songs
over and over
like scripture
just to spark the past's turmoil
you're happy now
because thats what you said you'd be
three months improved
yet you're still
dichotomous Jul 28
i drew a flower today
and the longer i stared
the more it wilted
into individual penmarks
ugly and random
like stains on a white shirt
unphased by the wash

i looked in the mirror today
and the longer i stared
the more i noticed
the slant of my nose
the scars on my cheek
ugly and random
like stains on a mattress
unphased by the eyes of another
he still loved the picture
dichotomous Jul 28
i cannot feel your pain
the walls in this house are too thick
my ears only register your shrieks

i still don't know what they mean

mom is stagnant and docile
your punching bag
dad is watching jeopardy downstairs
he adjusts the volume
to the flares of your voice

the arguing still lingers in my apathy
i don't sleep let i miss a sound
and when the commercials break
i'll listen to the crickets through my window
but it's just background noise

i don't know what they're saying

the doors in this house are close
still i refuse to enter a world
where you're drowning in your own tears
hoping someone will come to save you
rather than learning to swim

how sad
to be locked inside that room
i press my body against the doorframe
and listen again

but i only feel your silence
im sorry
dichotomous Jul 22
he still spells your name with an "i" instead of a "y"
even though you're the one who fixed it in his contacts the day you watched him write it down.
it doesn't matter.
it's just a small mistake.  
just like the one you made this morning when you didn't realize you were being asked a question.  
not being able to distinguish your name at the beginning of a sentence when you're not looking for errors.
responding to his text messages.
typing out his name.
tracing back over red lines.
he might not be able to spell your name but he takes the time to spell out:
Baby instead of Babi.
**** instead of Sexi.
Easy instead of Easy.
Lying instead of Lieing to you.
and now you're starting to see the world through his "i"'s.
so you'll stop reminding him.
stop asking "y"
only with him
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