What are we as human beings.
To continue this charade.
Feelings don’t reflect emotion.
A constant broken reproduction.
Something alien.
Stuffing toilet paper in our ears to avoid the sound.

Like a radio wave you reach me.
Through brick walls and curtain calls.
Never believing our names weren’t meant to be blazon in neon.

Your voice echoes through canyons.
Street lights and passersbys.
From dandelion pistols.
From candy cane hair.
I found you like a fossil.
Buried deep in my past.
Gasping for air.
Breathing resentment.

“I think you should go.”

“I think you should stay.”

Forever.

I guess I'm just going to have to hide under my desk
Because every word, every second with you is like a
Nuclear explosion in my eyes.
They taught me to cover my face and neck
But not my heart
From evil weapons like you.
Burn another cigarette hole
Through my lungs
And hang me up to dry.
I can let you destroy everything
Cause I know you'll feel better
And destroying is easier than building
In a world where
I can't have anything nice and remarkable.
I'm dying alone in a classroom
Full of kids that understand
Until words like "alcoholic" come into play.
I know they care
But I know they don't.
Not enough to try to aid
In my recovery from these scars.
I've been called a *****
Because I like my friends as men
But that's simply because they seem to understand
A lot better than these ***** faced hoes I get
To try to solve my problems.
They sit in front of desks and ask me if I've done bad
And I can't help but to say "yes"
Even though I've done all I can.
I'm going to sink into oblivion
As I watch the lights flash and take over my thinking.
Anything is better than thinking
At this point.

"In commemoration of this great inspiration... 50% off of entire shop! Hurry before store closes!"

sigh

*because a consumer market and materialism are surely the best way to
remember and celebrate a man who strove for the best in humanity.

I am hungry
and no longer safe
the feeling lingers
in the stomach
the habit is in the heart
wanting more than anything
just to be loved
the inhale and exhale
is never enough
i'm holding my breath
i'm simply selfishness
hollow-rib-cage-rattling
desire

i wonder if you're hungry
for what I crave
dangerous love that feels out of place

Toes dip into the smoggy air
Count them down
10, 9, 8
Leaning forward
Diving into the city below

He ran as fast as he could
Tears streaming down his face
Reading that letter, flabbergasted
Every second mattered
As these stairs pulled him down

Deep breath in, exhale
Thoughts run rampant
A single tear falls down
She leans further ready to follow

She was about to plummet
As the sun rises, casting her shadow
Her shadow crying
Telling her not to go
His hand clenched tightly on her wrist
Trying his best pulling her back in

His tears form the stars
Their shadows cast upon the moon
She screams 'let me go'
Tears, drip drip drip

He took a deep breath
Exhaling, screaming his heart's out
"I've always loved you!!!
He doesn't love you!! But I do!!
And always will be!!!
So please don't leave me!!!"

She stepped back
Tears streaked her face
If he love her
The end could wait

I've wanted to read a happy book
For quite some time now
But every time I crack the spine
Of a book with a grin escalating steadily,
I find that the stories that make me happy
Are the same ones that destroy my friends.

And I've wanted to write a happy poem
For just as long
But my hand always stalls.
No one wants to read about love and tenderness
When they're suffocating in their own right.

******  analyzing
inside airports
buzzing machines and people's throats
quite the same sound
if your ear really captures it.
destitute and frail
the ******* ******
with too much
abandon
churning out empty husks of men,
a glory between legs
everything else
feels irrelevant.
squeeze
the insanity from my lungs,
a surgical reconfiguration
i'm constantly re-inventing myself
and this time
i'm stuck
on you.