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D Awanis Apr 12
I took the long way back home
Wishing the noise would draw me away
Wishing the time would let you slip from memory

I went to places we used to sip our coffee
Everything is distorted as if time didn’t exist
Everything is surreal as if we were never there

I talk to people to keep me sane
All I felt was a small mouthful of nonsense
All I felt was longing for the warmth of your skin
I wish it doesn’t have to end like this
D Awanis Apr 12
Like the calm before the storm
Like the silence before the tsunami
Like the feeling when russian roulette spins
Like a rollercoaster after it touches the sky
Like a sandcastle when the tide is coming
Like a house of cards—
We’re in constant danger of collapse
D Awanis Jan 18
On one Summer day
a girl was wearing her heart
on her sleeves

She planted her gardens;
watered them sincerely
day by day

With each day goes by,
some people sneak a peek
into her blossoming flowers

Yet, no one bothers
to step even further
beyond the facade

She couldn’t help but wonder
why do people tend to admire
the beauty from the outside?

While the true beauty,
lies from within—
as it’s never about what it seems

And she thought,
even when her garden is flawed
it is at least, well taken care of
She foolishly thought it was enough—but it wasn’t
D Awanis Jan 18
Substance over form
depth over surface

Layers by layers—
see me raw
D Awanis Dec 2021
I. Intro

"I'm as afraid; as exposed; as vulnerable, as you are right now," I remember saying it on the day you were born.

Falling in love scares me to death, yet I'm so glad I kept it open. It’s probably one of the bravest thing one could do—fully aware you are walking on eggshells and you could have your heart torn into pieces.

I guess love is the hope you feel in your chest when you meet someone and you just know, in a bizarre and all-consuming way, that they are going to mean a lot to you, that you are going to clear a little corner of your soul out for them.

Love is a mess—yes, but my God, is it ever a beautiful one.

//

II. Interlude

I still remember the day I met you for the first time again after 10 years passed by. You smiled at me that day, and the way you called me by my childhood name sounds so familiar—it is almost as if it never left your lips. You spell it fluently as if you recite it every day until the day we’d finally meet again.

“You were my first love,” you whispered to me tenderly, as I replied the very same to you.

Like a fairytale told in every classic stories, you came into my life out of thin air. I should’ve known by then that if something was too good to be true, it’s probably not true—or perhaps I was too naive to admit.

//

III. Encore

“We were in love and we were happy,” is the sentence I repeatedly mumbled to you as I hold back the scream off my lungs.

With all the sweet nothing, betrayal was something I did not see coming.

In the end, love alone is not enough.

You broke my heart when all I did was loving you.
Here I am on my bended knees; with my wounds wide open—wishing there comes a day where I’m no longer burning the bridges to ashes
D Awanis Dec 2021
I sip my morning coffee religiously
but lately my two shots doesn't feel
as bitter as it used to be

Perhaps that's the thing about life;
you get used to bitterness so much that
you can no longer distinguish which one is which
since everything tastes all the same

Or perhaps, the thought of you crossed my mind
and all the pain suddenly comes rushing back
as if I am being tormented for the sins I didn't commit

My wounds are burning; they’re still half-open
almost to the point it's unbearable for me to mend
had I known the bruise would left me scars this deep
I would have walked the opposite direction that day
Now we’re just a lost cause
D Awanis Nov 2021
In the end,
You betrayed us and my trust
Your hypocrisy only goes so far
with each lies slowly unraveled

Perhaps,
You didn’t love me at all
You love the idea of loving me
You thought you knew what love was

To me,
Love is never a phrase
It’s always been a verb
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