Praise Them,

The Angels who lift the heads of the bowed

Who tread the oceans of fallen tears

To renew hope in the hearts of the broken    

Those who lead the lost home  

And remind us

That we are never alone...

They have come back
The demons that vowed to haunt me forever
Only now I smile
Finally we are on the same side
In darkness, there is only light.

I have lost myself,
In the pile of masks...

Take these words and hold them dear
as proof that once I lingered here
within these hallowed written walls
that speak the fate of one and all.

Do not mourn me when I'm gone
heal your heart and carry on.
In sorrow ne'er my heart did dwell
for I was blessed to know you well.

Place no flowers, lay no stone
for barren earth is not my home
no marker there to bare my name
no mourners heads bowed deep in shame.

Shed a solitary tear,
then walk in light and never fear
as darkness creeps across the land
I will be there to hold your hand.

~


I try, I swear I try,
but you are always there,
touching my thoughts with wonder,
bringing desires to my mind
on endless wishes
cast upon continuous ripples,
rapidly forming with every breath I take
~
Morning brings the sunrise
in multicolored shades of how I feel
Reaching for that lost love,
floating like indigo butterflies
just beyond my grasp, though
I still want, with every ounce,
every movement, every hope
~
I have been told
I long for what I can not have,
that elusive bloom
at the peak of the arbor,
radiant beauty washing down upon me,
fragrant reminders of a time before,
when your petals gathered at my heart
~
And try as I like it is of no use,
my mind holds you, desperately dreaming
in echoed whispers and twilight shadows
which never seem to end
For as long as there are butterflies,
honeysuckle breezes and poetry...
*there will be you

and here i am again
at the intersection
of pedestrian language
& old wives tales
swallowing gum
like 7 year memories
opening umbrellas inside
cause i can't seem get away
from all of this rain
i ******* with my left hand
cause i was told
back in highschool that
"it feels like someone else is doing it"
it gets me wondering
about the difference between
losing you and finding out
that some one else found you
or my sleep
or lack thereof
its starting to tear me apart
i keep having this dream
where you are in
an unfamiliar body of water
trying to wash my poetry
off of your hands
or the one where
something happens in my chest
every time you sit
on someone else's bed
i'm tired of feeling like something you've misplaced
but don't have the heart
to look for anymore
tired of you saying my name
like you're trying to bury it
i'm tired of wondering
if you can tell the difference
between the absence
of my voice & silence
the other day
i almost started sobbing
at work when a woman
asked me about
our equipment
i was explaining how
things come apart
and almost mentioned your name
it made me think
of how you used to say
things like "what would you do
if i showed up on your doorstep
one day?" now, i haunt
the windows in my house
i don't leave for weeks at a time
i sit on the porch like the dog
you didn't shoot behind the shed
the one that refuses to die
until you come home again
i told somebody once, that
you didn't even know
what my voicemail sounded like
i wonder if they thought
it was because you
are so important that i never
let it ring that many times
before picking up
or if you dont know
what it sounds like
because you've never called
you can't be the ****** weapon
and the search party
i'm tired of all the seats
to the ferris wheel in my chest
being empty
tired of your voice
being the one i look for
in abandoned places
that one sound i beg
to bounce back
down vacant hallways
i just seem to stand there
in all of that quiet
like someone looking for a mistake
on an eviction notice
so i guess the hardest part
isn't letting go
it's forgetting
you ever had a grip
in the first place
and since you've been gone
i wonder if when
you pushed yourself away from me
you used your left hand
so it felt like someone else did it