"You're tough", she said.
And I thought.
Am I tough because I really am
Or I'm tough because I've got no choice but to be one?

a drepressed loner
in a dark comic drama
his world a social sattire
alienated and desperate
he visited support groups
to relate to others
until he met an
alluring iconoclast
who introduced him to a world
of brawling, violence
until he finally entered into
a world of fight club
it becomes an addiction
a different belief
it becomes his sedative
an escape
until sentimentalism
becomes a horrible lie
so a different path he runs

There is a box titled
"useless"
that has been pushed into
the deepest
darkest

loneliest

areas of my brain.

Where silver lights
and crisp images
force me to think of a
better past and fuel a
sense of want

with the life I
used to live
and the people always
are smiling and I am always smiling
and the resolution is so clear you
can barely tell

it's fake

But there is a box titled
"memories"
that my mom keeps in
the room adjacent
to the fire

And inside are pictures
that are grainy and yellowed
and stained with caffeine
and ***** and hot chocolate.

The blurred image of my
brother's smile hidden in
his balloon face expanding
and stretching and cracking.

The worn candid of my mother looking
upon me as a baby
with eyes that scream for a breath
and yellowed teeth to remind me
this is no

goal.

It was simply there and now
it is gone.

Her dress was lovely.
A cloth of pure white.
A dress just for her.
What a beautiful sight.

But as the music began,
Her smile faltered.
He won't ever see her dress,
Cause he's not at the alter.

It's only been a few days, that's true.
But I already miss you.
Your quiet stares,
you shaking off your hair.
How you'd look at me in awe
because I was singing to a song you know.
And how we shared a look for a second
when someone asked you a question
that we somehow knew
the answer to.
It's crazy how well we connect;
Except for the part where you don't like me back.
For someone who makes me incredibly happy,
you're also the reason why I'm full of misery.

-m.b

so many dreams
I dream of you
that's the only place I see you now
you come alive at night
I see you so clearly
your smile
your laugh
your eyes
but all at once
you're gone
I'm awake
and alone
it's hell
when I dream of you
and wake up alone