I tried to forget
but you grew roots
Around my ribcage
and sprouted flowers
just below my collarbones.
All day I pick at their petals
but I have not yet ascertained
If you love me.
or not.

a.s.

Solitude makes me happy
Because solitude means there's no one there
to judge me, to hate me, to question me

Solitude means that despite being alone
I'm not lonely
Because I have myself
and I'm the only one
that can truly care about myself

but then again
I don't even care

So, solitude can be dangerous
Because when I give up
Caring about myself

Self destruction
Can be, oh so, tempting
Because when I no longer care

I just
give
up.

a.s.

This grief
has teeth

my son
it bites through

skin and bone
tearing at heart

and mind
(the deeper

the love
the harder

the pain
I find)

this grief
with its pearly whites

gnaws at me
through dull days

and dark nights
trying to drag me

to dark depths
shaking me

like a dog with bone
bringing me

to deep hurts
and aching moan

this grief
holds hard

bites deep
taking me

to dark dawns
and black dogs

of sunset red
and echoing memories

in numb
and hurting head

this grief has teeth
my son

biting through
bone and skin

tearing me within
but memories remain

strong and clear
and bright

which will
sustain me

through many
a deep dark night.

Pain is something you cannot see
It eats away inside of me
At times it feels like something I can't bear
And it comes from people not seeming to care
Pain hurts I'm not going to lie
The pain I have makes me want to die
You tell me to drop the blade and start over again
But the pain I feel will never end

Pain,
It can make you mad
Drive you crazy
Blur your vision make it hazy!

Pain,
It will make you sad
Make you hope life is made of dreams
Yet you know it is exactly how it seems!

Pain,
It causes a gruesome turmoil
Heats the blood and cools the heart
Tears at your mind, your soul, rips apart!

Pain,
It will make you wish for 6 feet of soil
Continuing, becomes so hard
You try and try to love, but fear to be scarred!