this is how i see you when i don't dream,
you were inside of me, and you were, and i can sense how you're now just a shadow
of someone that you used to be.
and i loved you, and probably still, it doesn't matter.
sometimes love is just as beautiful as abandonment and self-loathing.
do you believe in fate, my moonchild?
this is a third fate, a third my sadness,
a third your wilderness.
and you were in my way, and i was just starting to play with hearts and aces,
in the crammed bus downtown, you made a plea, you knew how to lull a maiden like me, you said
and i said i wouldn't fall for those secret rendezvous,
and this is how low i could go for you.
ah, and you decided to turn your back from the wrong,
i was in the wrong, you put me in the wrong, but you wanted to be right,
and this time, you gently wiped it off of my *******,
i shook, and i wept, that was far from what i deserve, but i never had something as gentle as those hands,
and you said it was your fault, and you wanted nothing to do with me,
you are my dark future, and for that, i have paid dearly in life.
you prayed for me to be strong, but i have always been,
then you prayed for me to find someone who could love me the way you only could, you knew i'd need it,
but that was no longer something that i long for
because i get hollow, and it doesn't matter, and i am no longer searching for it,
and i had you anyway.
you shouldn't worry about me, i am not getting somebody
in your place anytime soon, i never said
i want it, i don't want it
i need you, and i don't need you
and i just think of you a lot, my beloved moon,
and i think of all the ways i could be braver instead,
like i told you the last time.
affection is one thing, and love is another,
but passion is in the core,
and the core is hollowed out, passion has been burnt out as i lost you
and this is what i've been left with, my florencita
and this is how i see you.