People think I'm better now.
That it's all gone, the thoughts and such
But that's not the case.
I'm just better at holding it all in
And not letting people see it.
Just imagine the hurt they would feel
If they knew their rock was hollowed out.

Don't get sad about the past,
for it is not sad about you.
It has passed - like the cars on the road
through a green traffic-light.
It has passed like the moment
where the check-out scanner goes 'beep'
and you walk away with your things.

And if Nietzsche said, that if you gaze into the abyss,
the abyss will gaze back into you,
just don't dare to look
and it will cease to exist.
It will know it's place -
to swallow, swallow itself -
up into space.
Just don't look into the past,
for it is just a stretched blackness.
That is waiting, waiting to take you back,
into the life you should have had.

The thought of you holds sleep at bay
Do you ever think of me?
I think of you
In landscapes I wander
Dreamless and weary
Searching for that familiar face
Remember how we laughed the first date?
You smiled encouragingly as I opened up
I remember the second
And you opening the door not just the car
But the one to your soul
And the third when you held me close, and kept the cold at bay
When your lips first touched mine
I was shocked and felt so alive
It was that day. That evening.
That was the last day you
Shared your love with me
You were slow to respond
And I felt like a hit and run victim
You order me to move on
And I an obedient soldier,
Do my best
But I just wander lost in love or lust
I don't know
Visions of you flicker across my eyes
Painting the sky in shades of red and blue
I am shell shocked,
My pulse racing to unknown ends
And to make amends
Would it **** you?
To tell me why?