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790 · Mar 2019
mirror
Lukas Collin Mar 2019
Today I cried,
my chest tight
and my heart racing.

My mother just left me home alone,
and my father was at work.

I had the blades sitting right next to me,
and bottles of pills on my desk.

I looked into the mirror,
my stomach flat
and a thigh gap so big.
Yet all I saw was fat,
so much fat.

I puked and puked,
until I couldn't feel anything
until my body begged to stop
until I could barely move.

Then I screamed,
so loud the dogs barked
and my throat was raw.

I punched the mirror,
it shatter under my fist.
just like my heart did when Olli left.

Olli,
he used to be my everything.
he used to keep me safe in my darkest moments.
Now though he hates me.
He no longer wants anything to do with me.

I get though I'm ugly.
251 · Mar 2019
goodbye
Lukas Collin Mar 2019
Goodbye,
I am gone.

My emotions are gone,
they left me when i truly needed them.
My own parents don't care
People hate me

I can see it now,
the hate in their eyes.
They way they don't care about me.

I'm starting to believe my thoughts.

cut,cut,cut
The thoughts are drowning me
die,die,die

Why not die?
Why not cut so deep I hit a vein.

"No one even loves you!"
"Jump off a bridge"
"You're a failure,"

They are right I am worthless.
Why stay alive. I see no point anymore.

I am sorry for those I hurt.
for those you really did care
but I cannot stay here anymore.

Everyone wants to tare me apart.
Let them take me.
I don't care.
**** me please,
set me free

now I am in my darkest hour.
No one is here to save me.
Not Winter,
Not Somer
Not Olli,
Not Cassidy.

I do not deserve to be alive.
So tonight when I let go.
I do not want anyone to weep over me.
Do not think about me,

I wish I could have stayed longer,
but 15 years is enough for me..
goodbye everyone,

Thank you..

— The End —