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My heart aches every time I think of you
Because not knowing whether you will still want me tomorrow
Gives me the worst heartache I've ever felt.
And it's crazy to think I'm so infatuated with you
When I barely even know you.

I remember the day I ran after you
To comfort you in the cold dark shadows
And I think it all started then.
I fell in love with the idea of you
And I haven't let it go since.

I'm begging to feel your lips against mine once more
And the touch of your hand on my leg, the twine of our fingertips.
I long for the look you give me
When you think I'm not watching.

I want to press against the space between us until it disappears.
*And never let go...
It's nights like these
When I find myself
Drawing the constellations in my wrists.

I feel a filth in my bones
As I try to scrub clean
The dirt and the lies within me
And when the sky gets dark,
So do my thoughts.

I cannot mend my broken heart
Because it keeps cutting my hands
Trying to glue it back together.

As I count the stars in the galaxy that
Make up my wrists
I take a sip from the Devil's cup
And hope he spares me my soul.
Am I going crazy?
I think I am
All of these thoughts are itching at my brain
Trying to crawl out
They come out in my dreams
And feel so real
I try to scream
But my voice is lost
And I cannot breathe
I feel my heart trying to escape out of my chest
I want the silence to take over my body
But all I can hear is your voice screaming in my head
Look at me
I'm sorry
I just can't believe
What you've done to me
I can never be free
From these thoughts that are taking over me
I ****** up
And I'm sorry
But I thought you'd understand
How wrong I was,
Instead you took the knife that was already stabbing me
And twisted it deeper into my chest

I now feel the pain you asked me to endure
And I'm not sure I can forgive myself
For what I've done to you
But I also can't forgive you
The sweet, sweet MaryJane
It takes me back
To a time when you and I were infinite
Floating on the clouds
In the distant summer paradise
Last night is constantly on repeat:
You kissed me when you left
Like you would for the rest of your life
And I think I fell in love
With the way you bit my lip
And grasped my neck as you kissed me
I clenched your back as hard as I could
Because I didn't want to let you go
Since the thought of you not being near
Made me  feel sick to my stomach
And I think I fell in love
With how you poured me shot after shot
As we downed the whole bottle of ***
And the sway of our hips together on the dance floor
Felt like we were one
Maybe I didn't say goodbye because
I was scared of never seeing you again
And now I'm here in this bed all alone
Feeling the loneliest I've ever felt
Because all I want is to relive that night over and over again
You the manipulator,
How stupid was I
To believe the lies you told me
Telling me you love me,
That I am the one
And you haven't told anyone this before,
Making me feel special,
Telling me it's okay, just one more time,
It's okay I won't tell anyone,
Just the tip, please, one more ****.
Why I didn't walk out of that room,
I ask myself everyday.
I wasn't as strong as I am now,
I was young and naive.
Naive of what you were telling me
And the actions you were making,
Putting my hands where you wanted them
And saying it's okay
When your dad was sitting right there.
But you never returned the favor, did you?
How stupid was I to believe your lies and let you manipulate me
To make me believe I wanted to do the things you were making me do,
To make me think I was acting out of love,
But look at you, selfish you,
I see through you now.
How you've done this to thousands of girls
And they fall for it every time.
They fall for your looks and your charm,
But little do they know,
You're a disgusting excuse for a man,
Manipulating girls for ***
And making them believe you love them.
Look at you,
Selfish and manipulative you,
And I am finally seeing it.
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