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running from myself and getting nowhere
She battles her demons, day in, day out.
They don’t stay quiet, they scream and shout.
They tell her she’s ugly, they tell her she’s fat.
Her thighs are too big and her stomach’s not flat.
She starves herself but that’s not enough.
This desire to be thin has proven to be tough.
It’s making her miserable, it’s making her sad.
The quicker the weight loss, it won’t be as bad.
But the weight is staying and it won’t disappear.
She’s taking it to the extreme
And she’s making it clear
That she wants to be thin
And thin she will be.
But what you don’t know is that girl is me.
When I met you
I was scared to talk to you
When I talked to you
I was scared to kiss you
When I kissed you
I was scared to hold you
When I held  you
I was scared to love you
Now that I love you
I'm scared to lose you
I love you
the shower is her safe place.

although alone, she feels surrounded by thoughts.

through the sound of the running water, listen to her muffled screams.

watch as her tears flow down her beautiful face,

only to blend in.

ki
The empty space in my bed
constantly reminds me that I’m alone.
The walls around this house
no longer feel quite like a home.
I’m blocking out the memories
of you within my head.
I’m staring at the ceiling instead
of books I should have read.
There’s a hole inside my heart and
self-destruction in my brain.
These voices in my mind are
slowly driving me insane.
I can’t remember when
I smiled the last time.
I’m drowning all my sorrows
in *****, gin, and wine.
I’m calling out for help, but
not a soul can hear my voice.
I’m tired of people telling me
that happiness is a choice.
I’m waiting for something to happen
just so they know how I feel.
I’m so **** isolated that
this loneliness seems unreal.
This piece was meant to show the hideous face of a severe mental disorder. If I have to correct one more person, asking them to remove a comment about this saying this is "tragically beautiful," I'm going to rip my ******* hair out. I wrote this during a very dark time, I worked through it, and I thought it would be a good piece to illustrate the hell I put up with. Stop romanticizing mental disorders!
If you think this is beautiful, you've missed the purpose of this piece,
and personally, I have a problem with you.
Stop.
23.12.13
© J.E. DuPont
Sometimes I drive fast
to feel what it's like
to be alive again
You are the prettiest
You are the cutest
If I had to invent a new word
I would call you beautifulest
You are the most charming
You are most intelligent
I have never seen someone
Who is so elegant
You are the girl
That every guy desires
Babe, I love you a lot
For you, my heart is on fire.
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