careful babe, i'm wasting away
i'm knee-deep in dreams i let fade away
before the days were gone.
would you believe me if i said
that i didn't mean to?
falling in love felt like falling into place
and with you i feel at home.
i've never felt safe i've always felt anxious
drowning in yesterday and all of the what ifs.
what if i faded into you
on a sweet night in october?
you'd be too young and i'd be old enough
for no one to care
if i felt the weight of the world
on my shoulders.
spit me out and call me baby,
drain my faith and let me go,
even though
you said you'd never
be like everyone else
and lie to me.

our once upon a time was
lost on hopeful memories,
dancing in the midst of
the things you wanted to forget.

i want to see you undo it.

my dream-stained heart is in
love with you
my heart races with your
head on my shoulders,
replacing the weight
of the world.

i want to see you undo it.

high voltage in your artsy
fingertips
like a sweet lullaby.
are you okay?

i want to see you but you're not mine.

your split-lipped compliments are
boulder-heavy with caramel
undertones,
while i’ve got my basic stardusted
collarbones
and dancing fingertips;
ink stained and lust-conforming.

you’re stitching your ideas
onto my cerebellum,
and as i cry ‘foul!’
you fly away like
you’re free.
spit speckled with blood
and my dna,
you laugh and cry and kiss
like you’re mine.

dreams are growing
like wild flowers, and babe they
make me itch for some sort
of way
to alleviate the pain.
but people claim,
that these moments
we spend are never going
to be more
than little discomfort
and i dare say
that they’re wrong.

my body is not weather proof.
it will wash away
in the rain,
so hold me under your umbrella
and keep me
by your side,
because that way
if all else fails
we’ll wash away
together.

naive. used to think that the world meant well and that everyone deserves a second chance. i no longer think this but i would still give you a second- no. i don't know how i feel. i'm falling in love with he who is not you and there's only one thing holding me back. it's the thought of you as i am caught on reverse constantly falling when i'm trying to soar out of this place. i wanted to be ejected into outer space, and i was holding on to my tongue in cheek. oh the irony.
      seconds last lifetimes.
      i'm trying so very hard.
      at last, you will mourn.
2. certain. i'm with someone new, and now i'm so scared. afraid. wary. trust and love and lust are all dangerous i've learned. you grew daisies in my brain and then, you watched them wither. he grows roses where our flowers had died. but now i know nothing. i am unsure of anything but the fact that i am leaveable.
      how easy you changed.
      poisoned. a broken promise.
      twisting in the dark.
3. bold. i remember when i told you that i loved you. or something like that anyway. i threw up the butterflies in my stomach when you called me beautiful, and i couldn't believe you were (almost) mine. i talked to you like you were my everything because you were, now there's someone else and he's almost got me to want to be brave again. i wish i was brave again. for me. for him. but not for you.
      i'll light the candles.
      the glow is surreal and bright.
      blessed be this lady.

the rough texture on his fingers
from putting his soul into his art
his guitar, all black and shiny
a piece of art alone, extra special when he plays it
the warmth of his palm
i trace the lines that cover it
making an 'A' on the center
i clasp my hand, interlacing our fingers
rubbing my thumb against his
i kiss him
nothing makes me happier
than the simple feeling
of his hand

loneliness
used to taste like cough syrup,
coating my throat
in artifice.

now i'm just lovesick
dancing in a sea of lights
they kiss my skin like
tulips/two lips/i'd choose this/new bliss/
our mouths collide like planet & asteroid

blood's rushing through my veins
trying to tell me to sing hallelujah
because i'm finally
just
living

and although
the pain is there
it is fading out of touch

i don't know where to stop
but i'll always
start
with this