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Tint Dec 2018
To me, to me
Happy Birthday
But why does it feel
like I have lost a fight
like  a burden I am lit
with all these burning ice
blue as the sunlight
red as the wind
why do I regret
that I was born in the end

to me, to me
happy birthday
like mockery, like a joke
a spear spit
through my soul
blue as winter
red as fall
all I feel is kindess
for my dead soul

yet, I still regret
that I was born
Happy (?) Birthday
Tint Feb 2019
On this valentines day
in my head plays a replay
Of a world of fantasies
where I loved a girl named Bray
For the redness of the shirt
and the purple in the sky
I made a dancing sing-song
for the lost and bygone child

I do not seek the romance
and I do not seek the warmth
But I do know that in some ways
I have wanted to be charmed
Just be friends, just be strangers
nothing special, no retention
After all, this is just me
a poem writer who's unfree
Dreaming between the red and the purple.
Tint Aug 2020
Today is in 1950
the breeze is summer fume
sun scorced cooly and smooth
cicadas rung my ears with hoof
beside this maple trees I coved
my fountain pen and canvas book
called out the imagine that I hooked
in this small silver anklet by my foot
marking my heart, so lowly sewed

If I pioneered the 1950
today will be days of gold
we all will sit by the seaside
crying tears of joy, intertwined
no more hiding behind light shadows
to subtle the beauty of our form
patched roads be filled with laughter
and our lullabies of hope
all our hearts will heal, today in 1950
Tint Oct 2020
The spring in me has bloomed
and I felt it as it tears my storm
into branches of saddened thorns
another melody is now reborned
I often hear people say they have no friends when they do. You see I got no friends, I have one but that person was also my ex so I can't tell them a lot of things now. I literally got no other people to talk to. No choices, none. I've been to that stage where I would always write because no other people other than my family would talk to me. Nothing. And now it feels like that, be thankful of what you have. Be thankful for having people, just a few is okay atleast you're not as alone as me. They say it's alright to be alone it makes you stronger, but having no one my whole life, I know how it's not okay.  Being strong is one, but the feeling of having allies is another.
Tint Nov 2020
I bled crystals
it gave me wealth

I cursed light stars
they gave me death

in your dark journey
you'll see an end

and it will be glad
to see you once again

because you deserve happy
to be the bitter end

cause you liked lovely
to be your closest friend
Our journey ends.  But I still feel the same. Find yourself, I'd still be a friend.
Tint Jul 2019
I have gone through many changes
In the past and in the nights
Many spark in eye of a stranger
I saw my time in duller dime

The time when I was still an angel
Where I can laugh, a little mice
And people liked me for many reasons
And they asked of me of what I want

Now, I am just a little  vicious
I hurt and lie to all the right
The sun shone a different shade and
The night gave life to my demise

I still loved the scent of my demons
And learned that life is a surprise
Everyday I am just the same girl
But is different to your made mind

Do not forget the smile I treasured
And love me still when I'm long gone
Till then I'll make my silly rhymes and
It is of you I'll think about
Tint May 2020
-then I sang
     the world humms
        As they trap me
           in the place
             I have not favored
                but made friends
                   -with..,
Somewhere, it caught up with me. I am decieved of being strong.
Tint Dec 2020
And
I laughed without humor
Cried without tears
My nerves all tingling
As I jump up in the air

I sang without pleasure
I begged without pain
Felt my hands cascading
To these very end

I felt the blade running
From the top of my despair
And I let it slowly touch me
As it cut me till I bled
Tint Aug 2018
The dream I dreamed tonight
Was me with a cabin light
A cliff by the seaside,
I watched the falling stars
The sky turned purple
and I heard the singing grass
You flew to my side
and together we laughed
on how silly is the night owl,
to be drinking tea at night
I had a pet white tiger
and a carriage made of clouds
And a set of picnic materials,
I had you by myside
Was it a paradise?

The joy I felt was everlasting,
I did not wish to say goodbye
We listened to invented melodies
and slept to  mythical charms
of how happiness will  always stay,  
how undefeated we will be
I heard you plead,  "Don't leave me",  
I responded with a smile
There, I promised to fight,
for you I will thrive
I am brave in a dream,
I am strong in a dream
Was it paradise?

I dreamed a dream tonight
And never will I wake up
I dreamed of you tonight
I missed your little laughs

Goodbye to you my love.
Tint Nov 2020
when i sleep, eternally
i want you to burn thee
in pinkish flames
ashes will rim in your sweat
sprikling the clouds of little breeze
and my scent, it will fill the air
as I dwindle in happy tears
let the rain take me
to the deepest end
of the ocean i cannot swim
I'd wept sadly for this mistake
but forever grateful to you dearest
my soul will travel to lovely places
i used to watch till daybreak ends
oh, let my fly with head up high
soon hereafter i will tell thee
about the stories of my escapade
you will know about it,
my sweetest friends
whenever we meet again
Tint May 2019
And so she was
To her the blue is purple
To her my cry is pain
She sees my red in white and
Like the vulture is a crane

When the winds blow the hot sand
The storm she thinks is snow
For me she blinded the night owls
To hear the bluebird crows

How can I let go this one stack
That made my hope regain
I have lived my life in a small box
Now I'm within her embrace

Her castle of love made me tremble
I now have relevance and dreams
The world won't treat me better
But she was good to me
Always. Thank you. For you, I will stay.
Tint Sep 2018
***** clouds are underneath
grass and pebbles floating deep
A scenery so majestic  
crushed by comets to tiny bits
Mountain water tasted sweet  
yet the thirst cannot be quenched
For their hunger for the care
cannot be easy to compel

Anhedonia.
Cannot feel.
Songs of puzzled mystery,
Anhedonia

If only pleasure was a name,
it be called by many names
By those who lost their fiery flame, often  tangled in messy dreams
they lacked the warmth to give care then hope suddenly fade

The birds will pray for them to fight
The wolves will howl for their defeat
Anhedonia, cannot feel.
Tint Jun 2020
by EDGAR ALLAN POE

It was many and many a year ago,
   In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
   By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
   Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
   In this kingdom by the sea,
But we loved with a love that was more than love—
   I and my Annabel Lee—
With a love that the wingèd seraphs of Heaven
   Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
   In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
   My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsmen came
   And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
   In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,
   Went envying her and me—
Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,
   In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
   Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
   Of those who were older than we—
   Of many far wiser than we—
And neither the angels in Heaven above
   Nor the demons down under the sea
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams
   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes
   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
   Of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride,
   In her sepulchre there by the sea—
   In her tomb by the sounding sea.
The mention of her name in every verse is pleading for the lost love they had. One of my favourite poems ever written, it brings out the child in me.
Tint Feb 2020
If we are to part
with stashes of black
My eyes will swell
of sorrows and dread

But though there is distance
my hope is winged
With love and happiness
that we'd be one, again.
I will always look forward to seeing you.
Tint Jun 2020
I saw my ashes in your shadow
And I looked at it as love
I felt the sorrow in your burrows
And I cried because it's love
You have held on to tomorrow
So we will not be apart
I still see my ashes in your shadow
I believe it is still love.
Tint Jun 2020
O' lovely lady
bring your light,

the smile of beauty
to calmness

those lips deliver
happy memories,

make me remember
your tender kiss.
I keep thinking of you, my lady.
Tint Aug 2018
We might have met in August,
such an expected incident
I held the crown with one hand
as I play the king of games
We made friends, we told tales,
and soon agreed to flee
That with the trust that I gave you,
I let you held the key
For a friend was my illusion,
like happy insanity
You were there, you made it real,
I was taught to laugh and play

But then again, as old men says,
nothing stays the same
I was wrong, or, you got caught,
I was sure that you gave up
That the only thing that I have left, was in your hands instead
And you played king with my crown and keys, I did felt the shame

That I hoped, and that I wished,
that maybe it's okay to lead
That maybe I can grow and make dreams, that I'd become a friend
That someday I'd make keys,
and make a happy place

But it was all just a dream,
now a broken memory
You made me grow, you built me up, and shattered me in place
I sit here and this I write,
as a broken masterpiece.
Some people convince themselves that they are saving you while saving themselves.
Tint Feb 2020
Bang! Did it ever?

As the noise strikes the main land
little creatures curl
and the light that's using darkness
it made an angel hurl

So be not,
So be it.

There is an existing parakeet
mind made but, it flew
within the dept of disorientations
within the shallow codes

Cruelty did vanished
chains and boxes too,
but the feeling of being caved in
a nightmare to run to.
Too long in the draft.
Tint Jul 2020
Grandma brought me with her
in an open space by the back
with soft grass and watery mud
I have found a peaceful lot
I would sit there with her
as she weaved this colored stripes
brown, red, blue, and a little of green too

the lawn smelled nice and I breathe
the wind is cool and I sang
fell asleep and I woke up
but then she was gone
the banig she made was still there
it faded slowly too, like in a dream

The grass grew taller,
water got deeper
and I got a little older,
cried a little harder
all I saw was this kite
I used to love to fly
now I wish it carry messages
of the words I failed to speak

I made it now Ina, there was no stage though, maybe because you won't be watching me march, so it is fine. See? I made it through. I know you would be saying, "I am proud of you."
Banig is a type of mat from the Philippines, it is woven using dried leaves which is then cut into stripes and dyed into different colors.
Ina is the filipino word equivalent to mom or grandma
Tint Dec 2018
Too much, too much in me is hate
Slashed myself in pieces
watch blood run through my veins

Anger is my blanket
A clothing I cannot un-take
Remove me and my memories
I swiveled in so much hate

I want to breathe a nice air
even if it's regret

Hate, hate is within my skin
not ashamed to **** a being
not scared to be chased by names

I am me
A broken melody
Hate, all is hate
I will never,
Never love again
Remove this hate, anyone.
Tint Jan 2019
My bedroom is a trunk
walled by wood and cement box
This small space is where I sat
from the morning through the night
Sometimes it becomes the beach
and the ocean is what I see
And other times it is all happy
the scenery is something free
But most of the time it is just me
and the color is darker grey
All I see is past mistakes
A blank future that has no end
Have you seen a room of hate?
it's cold but burns
It burns the care
draft
Tint Oct 2020
In my dreams, I saw you
I want to hold your hand
and the tears, you got through
is flaming in my heart
and it's a wish,
can't come true
I want to be a better man
to be the one, all for you
tho your world is on collapse

Let me be a part of you,
I miss you.
I see you when I close my eyes
I would live for,
the day that's yet to come
by then I'll hold you,
warmth into my arms
and I would tell you
I've become a better man.
I'm swimming in Manila Bay
Tint Nov 2018
The swooshing of an aircraft
as I struggled to image paint
not knowing that all of my body
is the sailcloth, a masterpiece

My eyes is blinded by madness
and I would blame an empty head
and the blade that was my weapon
is used to myself instead

Who will defend me, a woeful being
will you sacrifice your creed?
If the waves of the ocean water
they will drown you to your death

I am the moon lover
and the rain is my mistress
When they see me together
I am the king of chains

And we all will gleam simultaneous
the light, the water, and flame
oh! the two of them outshined me
still, I am bewitched.
Frio. The cold. The ice. The talker and the chained.
Tint Nov 2020
the Plum was bitter
but I bit into it
made it less thicker
so the next believer
will have it easier
love her harder,

faith is restored.
How are you, it's been a while.
Tint Apr 2019
The night is gazing over, delicately yet lush
in a narrowed path by the meadow, filthy yet spry
where a little hidden blue eyes, cold but did survived
looked up for another twilight, in beauty but unjust
it's little auburn eyebrows, muddy yet defined
Furrowed slowly in bright light, dreadful but alright
thinking of what things to conquer, ignorant yet will pry
and the events that will take them for granted, addled yet aspires
when hunger and thirst relinquish, empty but will trance
they wait for another night lamp, asleep yet alive
Tint Jun 2020
The clothes that I was wearing,
it tore me to ablaze
It sure is suffocating,
breathe, talk and breathe
You see, this always happens,
all the time, to me
Though I know it won't
be a dreamscape
I broke it to million things

Art can't be just talents,
it's a form of agony
The only place I could run away to,
as I trip in funny ways
Now, you did it again...
the red liquid that I've paint
Not really good at drawing,
but I made a masterpiece.
Art can't be just talents, it's a form of agony.
Tint Mar 2019
I do not like you, no
Because you killed an alter ego
Who did not want you any harm
An ego who is driven
By writing your simple charms
And you, I do not know
Why you decided that he's done
Because you feel too important?
Or feel your worth's not much

How are you now
My old stranger
Do you like to think divine?
I have worked my way into freedom
But my pen slowly succumbed
Did the things you love ignore you?
When you told them you'd be gone
I could've wrote for you, sweetness
But I'd be nowhere to be found.
I am talking to you directly.
Tint Jul 2018
If I were a better person, I'd tell you that I've liked you
The way you consume food not caring what others would think so
Your smile that all along has been my medicine
I liked the way you scold me and call me stupid things
I was happy with the very idea that you became a friend.

But I am me, not the person I'm expected to be
The complications gave in, all the best I've had within
I was a candle with no candlewick, nowhere to lit a fire in
I cannot tell you that I have liked you, in the next life, I promise to.
Take me to Neverland?
Tint Sep 2018
Have you ever lost someone whom you cared for?

The third string of the guitar hummed the last of sounds
Into a fading tune of memory that I tightly held upon
Bruised and tattered hands as I hoped to make it last

But I would be the happiest
to see you in your charm

In the silence of the piano keys, I saw you pass me by
For you have shown me the laughter that is far long gone
I will miss you in my loneliness, but you won't make me sad

For I will be the happiest
to see you in your charm.
Have you ever lost someone whom you cared for?
Tint Jun 2020
A question, I want to ask a question
As I look up and scream the words out, eyes swelling up in tears
For the answers will be kept,
for forever I'd be deaf
The questions that came late
as the answer early left

Is my question worth it?
Is it worth the wait
I was a child of nature
I was a child of faith
Now I know how it is non-existent,
the hope I knew, that is
For now I know not of singing,
I know not of fame

All I want is to ask a question
as it scares me to death
I also would like to ask permission,
as I want to drown in tears
To let go of the emotion,
and get down on my knees
I stare up and beg for the fullfilment to take me back, lifeless.
Circa 2017
Tint Jun 2019
I cannot stare straight at your eyes
When we talk in small distance, I keep looking afar
Walking in empty streets, my vision is distant
Did you ever ask me why? Maybe, maybe not

I find you too beautiful, I find you too good
That if I stare a little longer, I'd give away the groove
That my eyes might daub you and  never get to look
I might get fond of these scenery, knowing the time is short

I find you like a masterpiece, I'd like to keep it cool
In the small time I dye your image, to not misunderstood
That though what I do is not the custom, I'll live by the mood
In my head you'll keep steady, the you that I'd yearn for

You'd hate the guts that wrote this
And you'd hate the person too
But I don't regret to have told you
You'll always deserve the truth
Tint Feb 2020
To my dear words,

I have learned to not
force you out too much

To give you the patience
and the time to come alive

I have decided to help you
heal your wounded lies

So you can form your letters
with newly thorned demise

And your enemies will wept
for they cannot bind you
in their cage

And I, who will adore you
will be proud of your revenge.
Imagination, do visit me.
Tint Jun 2020
I have dared call myself
The defeated superhero
In order to feel worthy
Of bottling my sorrows
Imagining me in capes
When I fought for tomorrow
And cry in it at nights
Expecting for a hero
To save me from my mind
And desire to futher borrow

This hatred as a gift
To sharpen as a bow
And drenched herself in blood
From self-inflicted scowl
Just to be disgusted
When the scars slowly glow
And it looked like little lines
Of a pitiful howl
That was falsely accused
To be artistically drawn
Tint Jun 2019
a long tunnel
I scream

deficits on me
Tint Jun 2019
this mind

metal sponges
bursts

then dust
Tint Jun 2019
the grip tightened
veins popped

blood drops
numb
Tint Jul 2019
A metal bar
bullets rang
blackout
,
blood

deficits on me
Tint Apr 25
Don't be scared

to learn that all the pain
will be part of what you'd gain

and the smile that you now had
be torn apart in tears

for sometimes, in your life
you will beg people to stay

but for sometimes in their lives
they would choose the better lane

and not everyone accepts you
no matter the promises

that most people will leave you
for all their betterment
Tint Jul 2019
I do not ask, you see
I'm fine with the small things
I do not cry, you see
Even if
it weakens my strengths
I would not demand, you see
because I know
I'm not worth it

but I hurt too
I hope you see
I feel it
when you hate me
Tint Sep 2020
The drama queen
can I play,
the drama queen?
she who was left alone
with the revenge
that she had drawn
exaggerations in her sobs
and fairly lengthy roars
I wonder if I can act
like how the showbiz
wrote in facts

The dram queen
oh! let me play,
the drama queen
I think I can react
more than she does
I should must
be more emotionless
make an oversensitive rant
I too, can hold a gun
I can tie the ropes in lines
to surpass her is a job
the easiest form at that

So, will you let me
to just play the drama queen?
that person behind a mask
behind her angry glaring eyes
the vengeance that she had
against herself for all the odds
this imperfect scars surrounds
that she always drag around
the drama queen
who's been broken,
by the fact that
nobody cared enough.
Draft 14. It's been so long.
Tint Apr 2020
Softly it touches the pavements,
a hummed melody of wet cement
subtly fills the air

Voices of arguments
from people in the other room
trapped in my space

Memories of lovers
in the comfort of my bed
calms my fears

Eyes closed as I reminiscence
of my favorite person
and their dreams

One day it will be me
with the love of my life
singing, these words

By then I am hoping
that we do not part
in sad tears, again
Yours truly,
Tint Jan 2019
The doppelganger, a former lover
in the streets of burning papers
behind an old tank of grease
found yesterdays memories
wrapped in plastic bottles
a map is written
to find me
again.
gone
Tint Jun 2020
it was in a closed room
where I tore apart the seal

from the brown envelope
that I recieved as a gift

it does not say where it came from
but it was wrote to me

I held on to it so tightly
as it served my sanity
2018 draft
Tint May 2020
Heavy, cannot lift

Bounded, cannot tear

Numbness cannot feel

Anger, cannot see

The myths brought the heroes
my mind brought the cons

One defeated the other
and again I am reborn
Tint Jul 2019
I am aware
that the art is lost within me
these veins once gushing flares
desired to write the hurt and
paint the fun in red

In which the stars sang differently
and the calm at night prevails

Yet knowing they are just cruel
suns of chemical flames

For which the moon shone brighter
and the love for it unfades

where in darkness I look up and whisper
Oh wind! Can you hear me sing?

Lately, the poetry
my poetry is plain
and all I write is mere words of
deep emotions and events
knowing how faulty and unorganized
that I have lost a sumedth gain

Following this. I apologize
the art in me, it fade.
Do you have to hurt to write?

Sumedth is not a word, I supposed.
Tint Jul 2020
The person was deaf
from swooshing of the wind
and the melody from myths
never ceased to baffle them
all they see are elements
of mockery and fame
from people who cared
but left them in the end

The 14th track of a symphony
they learned to love to hate
started humming, ascending
into an orchestra of fate
they can only wonder
why it promised of bitter ends
when it is only music
meant to compensate
Tint Jun 2020
It sounded too ironic
that the person can't take stand
when the people that they trusted
wouldn't even lend a hand

and their words that made memories
that world where they were glad
it all is slowly vanishing
melting with the sun

some people would not value you
even if you offer life
importance is only given
to those they'd benefit from

and yes, I am disappointed
feeling used then trashed
I just wished I mattered
that they would understand

I too am, I am a person
That I too, get fed up
Tint Sep 2018
Find me
I am buried in the ruins
Beneath this never ending break
Lost is the courage to be better
Lost is the hope to feel

Find me, I am here
Look back to words you've said
The Lady I have loved
The Gentleman who held my hands
They are gone, slept in a dream

Find me, Little one
For I could have learned the art of love
The passion to care and laugh
I would have taken walks with you
I promise to make you smile

Find me, I am lost
I am here and I am lost
I break the trust and  lie
Find me in the ruins
Set me free, I'm gone.
Tint Aug 2018
How can he expect that the world will treat him well
when he did all the doings that the wise man regret
for such a person he is, unloving, uncared
how can he wish that there be a different dawn to set

as he stands at the cliffs end, thinking for a wish
for the changes he can give, the one's he mistreated
as he stood in brave stance to take the leap ahead
nothing then mattered, nothing then made sense

As a friend I tried to stop him, to take a chance and live
but he smiled so genuine and a salute he then waved
as a friend, I stood there as I saw him spread his wings
now he is in heaven, the one I failed to save.
Sometimes you don't have to be the one to save the person, you just have to be there with them while they are saving themselves.
Tint Apr 2019
And then you asked
what if I fall for you?
I was immobilized, thinking
what if you did?
I will hurt  you with my words
not because I mean them
but because I'm ill
and I hate to see you crying
because of my belittled deficits
I'm scared to know you're falling
even when I'm happiest

What if you already fell?
I am no Romeo, or, a warrior
but I will fight myself for you
I'm sorry when I'll hurt you
Just know, it will hurt me too
I care for you my bunny
so deep, there is no end
I'll swim in this filled tunnel
of what will happen next
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