I have loved a man who controlled my soul.
I want to be strong, but I feel like a fool.
I feel so weak, and all I do is moan
My thoughts jumbled, my words mumbled.
He’s taken my life, turned me into a drone.

He makes promises he doesn’t keep  
So I stand on the hilltop wanting to leap.
My heart breaks and bleeds
He won’t even try to fill my needs.
I’ve given all I can and I wish I could stop loving
This cruel cold man.

He takes my soul and gives nothing but pain.
Why do I stay when I have nothing to gain?
My eyes fill with tears, and I cry from inside.
My heart begins to bleed and I think it has died.
I want to run and hide where my eyes can’t see.
I don’t want myself to see this pathetic me.

But in hiding I’ll be alone with my hurt
My heart is smashed, ground into the dirt.
I feel I’m dissolving, melting away.
My mind says to leave, my heart wants to stay.
I’m weak and afraid and I want to retreat
How can a heart feel, when it cannot beat.

Copyright *CindyRenouf @2010
www.stumbleupon.com/stumbler/Cindy1128

You want it a world  that is perfection
but instead you feel hurt and rejection.
You can’t bear to look at this life that you see
so the blindfold covers the pain temporarily.

The blindfold that you wear
Can’t hide all of your feelings of despair.
You want desperately to leave the blindfold on
So your fantasy world won’t be gone.

Remove that blindfold from your eyes!
Face the frustration, the hurt and lies.
The blindfold only hid from view
the pain and sadness that you already knew.

As you begin to feel your soul start to heal.
Look around and see what is real.
See your life as it really can be
full of  joy, hope, love and honesty.


Copyright *CindyRenouf @2010
www.stumbleupon.com/stumbler/Cindy1128

How will I know if I’ve made the right choice?
Will I hear a deep resonating powerful voice?
Telling me YES You are strong and secure.
          NO You are weak senseless and unsure.

How will I know that the future is mine?
Will I see an illuminating vision that is a sign?
Telling me YES This is where you belong.
          NO This idea of your was all wrong.

How will I know that happiness is within my reach?
Will I grasp an iron handle or a slippery leech?
Telling me YES Keep on trying, you’re almost there.
          NO How could you hurt those around you who care.

How will I know this journey going the right direction?
Will I smell a bouquet of roses or a putrid infection?
Telling me YES You chose the right course.
          NO Now your filled with regret and remorse.

How will I know that  Independence and I will meet?
Will the taste of freedom be sour or sweet?
Telling me YES Eat up, clean your plate.
          NO You’re starving but now it’s too late.

Copyright *CindyRenouf @2010
www.stumbleupon.com/stumbler/Cindy1128

It would be nice to pick up eggs for you while I’m out
Save you some time
Knowing you won’t be hungry tonight

It would be nice to wash our cars together
Sharing the bucket
Shining our chrome bumpers to reflect our smiles

It would be nice to go to a wedding together
Wearing our new shoes
Dancing with the crowd and seeing only you

It would be nice to take a walk around the block
Holding hands
Feeling your warm fingers intertwined with mine

It would be nice to pick up shells on the beach
Footprints in the sand
Bending over to pick up that one perfect shell

It would be nice to look at the full moon
Moonlight shines bright
Illuminating our bodies we enjoy our nakedness

It would be nice to tell you good-night
Fluff up my pillow
Falling asleep cuddling you, I am content

The pieces of your heart are strewn on the floor
I try to step over them, but can’t avoid them anymore.

Your heart is cracked, swollen and sore
The blood flowing inside is stagnant and poor.

Your heart has been mauled and pounded down.
It has been hacked and sliced and is turning brown.

But it continues to beat even though it is ripped and torn
It continues to sustain you in a state that is weak and worn.

How can the blood of life surge in your veins?
When a rampant germ infected you causing you horrible pain?

I can see the droplets of blood that continue to fall
The blood of hope splatter all over the wall

Your heart must be very stable and strong
To endure a marathon of doubt for so long.

I can’t believe a person can continue to live as you do
Overlooking, forgiving and remaining true.

This heavy heart of yours beats on and on
Non-stop rhythm of hope that never wans.

Have faith and courage and don’t let go
For a hand is reaching toward you ever so slow.


Copyright *CindyRenouf @2010
www.stumbleupon.com/stumbler/Cindy1128

You gave me hope and light the darkness
From the magic of a simple look you posses
Sweet voice that makes me wonder
Why seeing you a day makes it better

You've never knew what I felt for you
You've never seen what I can do
You've always left and gone your way
That's why you never knew what I had to say

I'll hold on until you'll know
What I feel and how to show
The love that's healing me
A simple smile that feels so sweet

'Coz I don't know, on how to tell
a feeling to someone you don't know so well
If there's a chance for me and you
I'll wait and wait...
I'll wait you through...

705

Suspense—is Hostiler than Death—
Death—tho’soever Broad,
Is Just Death, and cannot increase—
Suspense—does not conclude—

But perishes—to live anew—
But just anew to die—
Annihilation—plated fresh
With Immortality—

My mind shuts off
My legs start to shake
My heart starts pounding like a drum
My words can't come out
I don't know what to do when i'm around you

You're the reason my family thinks I have changed,
I might have changed, but to me I've changed in a good way
Or so i think.
I'm love-stricken to know the difference of anything

And I can say it's because of you

Searching through the woods
Running faster, on and on
Searching for something.

Looking, searching. Why?
Desperately running, running
No rest no peace, ever

Struggling onward
Through the dark, through the unkown
Will I ever find it?