The Silence Is Terrifying.
A creak from a chair or the rustling of paper is all that breaks it.
My thoughts are so loud.
I pity those who are not alone.
I feel scared to think,
for I might sound a whisper.
The Silence Is Terrifying.
Should I speak?
No...
I would startle myself.
Maybe the others hear it too.
The silence,
I mean.
It is so loud that my heart is like
the beats of drums.
My thoughts are the words to my lovely song.
The creaking of the chair and the rustling of paper are the offkey note.
The Silence IS Terrifying.

i saw you outside
on my roof tonight
with your messy hair
and cigarette glowing
between your fingertips and
you wouldn’t leave but
you wouldn’t come in
and i kept staring as you
blew puffs of smoke
with your back against my
bedroom window and
i wanted to get up and crawl
outside and sit behind
you and draw pictures on
your back of all the things
i didn’t know how to say but
my blankets felt like lead
so i whispered to my pillow how
much i love you and then
the sun began to rise
and you looked back at me
with ashes beneath your
eyes and i told my pillow
i wish you’d stay
but you didn’t you
never do

EXPERIENCE
IS
EXPERIENCE
IS
EXPERIENCE
is only a word
used to describe
                                          perspective
because bad can pile on top of terrible, on top of naive, on top of cruel
and you'll have nothing beyond stories that
do not wish to be told.
EXPERIENCE
IS
     your head space narrative
starting from the beginning and underlining until a broken paragraph
creates
a
visionary.
EXPERIENCE
IS
      a prize for allowing your memory
to serve you on a silver platter.
because lessons are hard to learn unless you wrote it down
on the chalkboard
after class
and gained
all that a past can ever hope to be.

Bathing in your sunshine,
I mistook myself for the moon,
I'm a sun too, with a blinding light of my own

So now, I declare a finality,
I am finally done.
Done trying to please you,
Done attempting to be part of your glorious life,
Done putting you before me.

But for all that you've shown me, beautiful angel,
I'll never be done with three things:
I'll never be done praying for you,
I'll never be done thinking about you,
I'll never be done wanting you.
In silence.

But to keep a morsel of myself intact,
And to grow it into all that I could be,
With you, I'm done