Here is what I do know now,
A few things learned from you,
Fairy tales do not exist;
Though our love is so true.
There will not be a rider
On a steed so very white
No kiss to resurrect me
Even though this feels so right.
No prince to make me royalty
No savior when I fall
No one surrenders anymore
No. No one, not at all.
Practicality now says
Two can not just become one
We must now sign a contract
Before any merger's done.
So true love now is jaded
While reason wins yet again
No exchange of any vows
Save for paper and a pen.

No, I didnt get to leave.  
Like I wanted to.
Like I was meant to.
I didn't get to go see what you saw
Or search for myself under a lone tree.
I stayed here.
To save it all while it all died around me.
People I loved.
Trees I planted.
My only comforts.
Burying them one at a time.  
Fickle doesn't fit here.
The only thing that works here is giving.
There's nothing for me to take
Only give.
And I do. I give it all.
And it is taken.
Usually that doesn't bother me
But today I'm ******.
Today I'm tired.
Having a conversation with myself.
And we dont get along anymore.
We are too different.
And have betrayed each other too many times.
I have learned living contrary to one's nature
Is ******* misery.
And worse as I chose it.
The great one who steps up to save the day
Has to do it forever
Or be branded as terrible.
When do I get to live, be me, run?
To leave would mean hurting the only ones
That I ever loved.
And all my dreams probably would never come true
Anyway.

Just a jumble
By a troubled mind
Or perhaps a tired one
Who looks through frosted glass
For all the parts to make the whole
Of you.
Collecting your past acts
And contrary present,
All of your tells and words,
Truths and indescrepancies
The slightest of body language
To form an image of a soul
That is unknown
And upon finding the concoction
Rather plain
I can add a little smoke
Or a little drink
And quite simply
Take all those pieces apart
Study them; scrutinize them up close
Until they all blur and skip a bit
Then rearrange them all
Repeating this process
Of infinite possibilities
Until the result is either too beautiful to truly love,
Or too hideous to abandon.
This is how I determine who you are.
By how I construct you
And how I perceive you
In this light or that.
In limitless dimensions,
You easily become
Someone I can love or hate
Hold or let go of
Regard or disregard
I can do this forever.
You are irrelevant.

I took the bait that dangled
Starving as I was.
For a taste of something new.
Made a challenge of accepting
An imagined captivity.
I could make a habit out of this.  
A willing slave.  
And just stay, learning.
Learning your motivation,
Your sins.
Intriguing as it is...
It is not harmless.
Not for the Master,
Who underestimates
His captor.

The hands that will touch me now
Will be calloused
But they will not hurt me
Not like your slow hands
That massaged in a poison
Without me ever knowing
No. The hands that will touch me now
Will belong to a monster
Without a disguise.
That's bravery.  That's love.

The space between life and death
Narrows as it goes.
Smothering at the end.
From light to deep grey
Hope to hopelessness
Final hours are no blessing
Just an expectant waiting
Almost a begging plea
For that last breath
For mercy
And there is a reverence to it all
Where the world no longer matters
And beauty takes a different form
When memories clutch the brain
And acceptance descends
Panic abates
And a beating heart finally stops