i knew who you were
and i knew of your name
i know what you do
and i knew of your game.
and knowing all of this and what you've become,
why did i give in so easily to the devil himself,
who smiled like and angel?
I always thought that you was heartless, emotionless, or at least that you hid it well.
I always saw you as someone sure of himself, someone who don't need nobody, a whole.
But, what if i was wrong?
What if you were even more broken than me?
What if your heart had burst into so many pieces that you can't find it anymore?
I wonder what happen to you to be that way now.
Who is the cause of that?
What she made to you?
**** I look like chasing after some ***.
Especially when he stirs with my emotions and makes my insides hum.
I knew what to expect,
Yet I still let you in.
Let you hold me like I was some type of special pen.
Use me like the cash that you never needed.
And it was then,
That i realised I needed you more than anything.
Blinded by desire you inspire and no matter the damage you cause i still longed for you.
That's why now I look stupid still chasing after you.
You crave things that add no value to your life. Never allow desire to poison your sight.
Sometimes I feel as if I'm in a race with my own thoughts.
Instead of me beating them,
they continuosly beat me.
And turn my habits into addicts.
Leaving me speechless.
Now its hard for me to form my thoughts into sentences,
And my emotions into thoughts.
*How exactly do I decipher my thoughts into a language that I can translate?
Stop thinking you've got me figured out.
You will forever be left confused.
If ignorance is bliss
then why am I miserable
not knowing if I should
Written: July 15. - 2014