Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
David Zagorodny Jun 2014
She was beautiful,
she was elegant,
she was stunning.
She was everything he had ever wanted:
how could he ever be with one so striking?
Surely she was in love.
In love with someone equally as grand.
Someone who could rain down all of the wants
she had ever dreamed.
But he could look.
He watched her often.
The way her eyes would squint in response to her smile.
The way her teeth revealed their apparent flawlessness when she laughed.
The way the colour of her eyes would wane,
from one remarkable shade of blue to another as her mood varied.
The more that he watched her, the more that he heard her.
The more that he heard her, the more that he listened.
And the more that he listened, the more that he learned.
He knew so much about her...
and she had no idea.
She could never know.
If she knew, she would laugh at him;
Embarrass him.
Tell him how ridiculous he was,
for thinking she could ever be with him.
Maybe.
But the thoughts of her would never cease.
He had to talk to her...
Day in and day out he talked.
She was so gracious to placate him this way!
How could she feign such enthusiasm?
Perhaps she wasn't.
How could she possibly be interested?
If she discovered his intent and her feelings were not reciprocated,
then everything would be ruined.
It wasn't worth the risk.
He could not lose what they shared.
And still he talked.
And still his feelings grew.
He was in love with this girl,
this untouchable girl.
The agony of keeping his secret was destroying him.
He had to confess.
Her reaction would be predictable...
But hope was all that he had.
He wished on every falling star.
He spoke her name into every wishing well.
He mentioned her in every prayer.
All seemed to suppress his longing,
his desire...
Hope pushed him forward.
Hope also held him back.
For as long as he had hope,
the chance for her affection was still there.
David Zagorodny Jun 2014
There was a time, some time ago,
that things were new.
So full of potential and wonder...
of fear and of doubt.

So predictable now things seem to be;
there are no surprises.
It won't be long now
till things are new again.

So very cold.
It always seems coldest before the end.
It won't be long now.

My body tells me so...

There was a time I didn't mind so much.

The lackluster illuminessence,
the dull grey beauty.

...and the darkness.

It won't be long now.
So very cold.
David Zagorodny Jun 2014
You were my best friend.
I loved you,
I needed you.
I would have done anything to make you happy;
I hope you knew.

I have so many memories of us:
things we did,
things we would say,
the things that made us laugh.

I cherish the time I was able to spend with you:
games we would play,
adventures we shared,
the secrets that were told...
I hope you did too.

I wish you would have said goodbye.
I wish I would have done more.
I wish I would have told you this...

You are my best friend.
I love you.
I miss you.
My best friend was a diagnosed schizophrenic, who took his own life at the age of twenty three. To this day, I feel like he was the only person that saw me without my mask...
David Zagorodny Jun 2014
Tonight;
I start all over...
I kiss my wife,
my sons,
my daughter.
I tell them I'll change,
I'll be the best father!
Tonight, again,
I start all over.

— The End —