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Jan 2022 · 317
rocky
She was the rock I sunk my sword in.
I never once made her sweat.

She was the rock I built my house on.
I never once made her fret.

She is the rock I will leap from
And she is the rock I'll come crashing down on.

I never once made her sweat.

I never once made her fret.

She cut my tongue and blunted my teeth.
Yet here she lies beneath my feet.
May 2019 · 165
Faith in Foxholes
Song lyrics:
It’s just how things are.
Things keep changing,
Things keep rearranging
I hardly recognize this place.
Or your face.

It’s just how things are, O it’s just how things are
And you see I got my faith in Foxholes.

Just as your boommbs come crashin down.
We’ll see
Just how
Fast I can dig.

It’s just how things are.
Things keep changing,
Things keep rearranging
I hardly recognize this place.
Or your face.

Covered in dirt and ash,
Smothered by something brash.
Count down the days, dear, Until I fall into place here.
I will be upstairs til then, looking for new ways to process the old days.

Gift wrapped and red penned, I wish I could stay here.
Call off the search on me now. You know where I'll be found. (6 feet underground) Darling just look down.

I knew I'd find you here, It seems all so clear just like your favorite song. ringing for o so long. I know you had to go but I didn't think it'd be so soon.

Count down the days, dear, until I fall into place here.
beside you now. beside you now.
inspired and heavily copied from Meridian if I dare tell the truth.
Even after the match is burned up.

The fires it lit still rage on.
Dec 2018 · 217
Law Man
The law man, he’s a comin.
A comin, ta go on get ya gone.
You better best be, goin.
Go on, get ya gone. Go on, get ya gone.

O he aight no low man,
He’s high high above the law.

Go on, get ya gone, go on get ya gone.
O that law man! He’s a comin,
Ta go on get ya gone.

O hoh, don’t feel so low,
That lowly law man!
Just sees a wild dog.
Dec 2017 · 232
Once While We Were Walking
She said to me: "I've got the sun in my eyes."


I know what she meant, but what I heard was;

I got the sun in my eyes, the same sun that lights my world.
warms my soul.
Nurtures this Earth with its radiance.
The same sun I'm often afraid to look directly at.
The same sun that seems so god dam spectacular as it rises and falls.
Just as her eyelids rise and gently set.
Clasping those delicate eyelashes together,
like the first and last rays of light streaking the sky.

The same sun, that burns and burns with a passion for life.
Life it alone seems to give,
to spark into creation like the solar flares of color through her irises.

Of course I didn't say any of this, I just laughed like some loon who was some how beside himself with the idea of being momentarily blinded by the sun and its glory.
After all, it wasn't so long ago many revered the sun in the likeness of a god.

She chewed my ear off the rest of the day for finding her discomfort so amusing.

Which I only found all the more charming.
it's sloppy but it's meant to be a hastily spoken piece.
Where is it you've gone I can't follow?

Can't tell you how many times I've been looking for something new.
Something better than this shade of blue I see through.

But you've got me pictured all wrong.
I'm more than just the chipping paint on the brush scraping the canvas.
I guess I'm in no rush to clean up.

Where is it you've gone I can't follow?
If I thought that by being that role in your life I could lift you up on my shoulders high enough to reach the apple of your eye on the tree of dreams you're reaching for, I would.

But I'm too busy digging for gold, and at best I'll bury us both.
At worst I'll dig up the tree and muddy the family well.

So please, when you ask, know I couldn't love you more.
Sep 2016 · 351
Notes on the Breeze
I long for the sobering moan of a lone instrument drifting through the
  empty mountain air, the kind that pulls you from your soul to some
    other ethereal place where nothing exists but the breeze and those soft
      to booming notes rippling and shining through like twinkling stars
        each leaving its own message in a bottle that I only wish I had eyes
          strong enough to read.
inspired by track 18, Deserted Village : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2R_XDufYKvY
No, because when you chose to drift away, I’ll still be standing at the port where our ship set sail.

I’m personally quite tired of watching others affections rise and fall like the tide until they all but recede, or do entirely in some cases.

No because I’d rather keep them contained like a glass of water I can easily maintain, something only my neglect or thirst can cause to evaporate or drain.

I Myself, I’m more like the moon, I have two sides.

But you’ll only ever see the one.

And as much as I yearn to draw you in close, my magnetic personality will only pull you so close to me before its time to move on to the next phase or cycle.

And then I have to take time to collect myself once again.

Roaming a blind yet constant orbit always stopping and reflecting on those same waves.

I’d like to just once feel their kiss, but alas once is never enough.

What then would the next dream be?

No, because I love too many to tell you that you are special, after all there are many fish in the ocean.

But when that ocean is the real catch, how can you ask me to pick just one molecule of water out of such an immense expanse of beauty you can find nowhere else.
With Two oceans between us
I've discovered that you are still my good morning.
And my good night.

oh how I'd like to cross those oceans.
But I hear that they're quite deep, and filled with teeth.

And you know I've never been a swimmer.
It's just that I like the winter, so I've never been a winner without a sweater.

And those teeth, O I'm not one to bite back!
I'm not much of a fighter, about as much as you.
(work in progress)
Mar 2016 · 426
Folk Remedy
On the edge of your dreams lies a Demon.

He sleeps while you act, and acts while you sleep.

But what happens in between?

As your eyes begin to rest and you feel your soul lift, drift, tethered by a string. It's eyes begin to gleam, and over the hills and valleys It's mighty yawn can be felt.

But tonight you were running with scissors, you feel asleep on broken glass and your tossing and turning has set the Beast free! The string has been cut by his toothy smile!

You drift through the forest of your mind, searching for your being, your will to live.

Hopes for your departed self are hunted and devoured one by one. The Demon is on the prowl.

You begin to see reflections, Water, Smoke, and Mirrors. They all belong to the Beast!

Stumbling through the slopes of your mind Death may round the corner, but so does the tree of knowledge.

At last you see it! the apple of your eye! everything you've been dreaming of. You try and try as you might it is beyond what the Demon has already taken. You fear your essence your very spirit will be next!

Water, Smoke, and Mirror's AGAIN! The Demon is here! There is no escape.

You turn to face its many forms, Their glare dying off. Revealing its true form.

Its visage is so shocking, so cutting you are shattered in its presence.

Two images, Body and Soul, both yours. Who you were, who you want to be! was it always so? or is this trickery!

You can not look away, so the Beast looks for you. its reflection shows that fruit once again.

A gilded cage.

You awake still unsure if you are or were body or spirit.
a spur of the moment thing I did in like 10 minutes after playing some folky kinda music on my guitar!
Feb 2016 · 248
All In One
AI1
just something the romantic in me finds beautiful
Jan 2016 · 438
Birdstrike
We dance with the birds and the wind.

The roar of our engine gives us such a big grin.

But someone has two left feet.

This soon spelled tragic defeat.

We fell like comets from heaven.

This dance of death left only eleven.

buried on that beach,
is something I shall never cease to preach.
(this poem is about hitting a bird while flying)
Jan 2016 · 338
Work
Setting Sail was never so easy.
Just the sky and I, and a passenger who may be queasy.

The sun should soon set, and I with it.
But the good ole girl and the wind continue to flirt
as I skirt through the airwaves.

Slowly sinking, gently, ever so gently.
As the good ole girl and I kiss the earth.
I may make no attempt to rhyme,
But please understand that it is because I’m trying to convey something I have never found words for.

I once was met with an indescribably powerful force, it came in the same sensational form as a hug.

But I will never be able to call this that, nothing I have ever nor will ever find, no matter how close the form, can compare to this.

I am not speaking out of romantic fashion, or idealized thinking, but out of something I can only describe as equal to power as the Great Spirit who fashioned all of this.

But even if this sentence were to **** me,

I am much more than satisfied.
A rare exception for me since I'm writing this out of reality and not just some form of a fictional state. (the occurrence was many years ago now, but I still think about it often, and it seems when I do I happen across the individual as well. Some sort of fate I suppose.) Admittedly I hope the person this is about doesn't ever stumble upon this! it would be quite embarrassing since I don't think I've ever mentioned to her how many things have been inspired from those moments and how often I think about them.
Sep 2015 · 1.1k
Grammar
Grammar
There is a reason in English Grammar
That you lie in bed,
English is full of double meanings.
I met a man with weights in his shoes,
He says time doesn't have anything for me.
Are you that lonely? Or maybe you’re right.

Where have all my skills gone
I’m not as careful as I once was

I don’t got anything new
You’re unaware it’s the same old tune

But we'll sing, and scream to the moon,
Because o maybe soon
Hopefuly soon

Itll be June, and Ill be another year closer to U
(still needs edited a bit, but its suppose to have a steady progression of grammatical errors)
Sep 2015 · 402
Set Sail (song lyrics)
I feel numb I feel numb
I feel like a dream

O I could soar I could soar
Over the sea

But I will float I float
out past the shore

So I can't swim back
No I won't swim back I won't make it back
To the shore

I feel numb I feel numb
I feel like a dream

So set sail with me
we'll never make it to never ever land

O I could soar I could soar
Over me

Like a flag in the breeze Follow me
Sep 2015 · 1.4k
Surgery
My hearts a grenade

So if you pull the pin

You'd best lay on my chest

So I don't take out the room


(alternate version?)
My hearts a grenade

So if you pull the pin I'll keep my grin  

Just before the boom

You'd best lay on my chest

So I don't take out the room
(I feel like I've read this before because it just seems so familiar, which is most of the reason why I put it up here!)
Sep 2015 · 1.1k
Twiddling My Thumbs
I find it difficult
To enjoy free time
I know I should know better
To do better
Work wise, play hard
I find it difficult to talk
Without numbers and facts
I dont always act like
Im stressed out,
But free time pushes me over
Over time
Twiddling my thumbs addition for lyrics:

...Over time
Just twiddling my thumbs
Working for the man! Man
But dont you see
That man is me.
So rinse and repeat this cycle
Til its worn a hole through the groves and trenches i walk through.
Hopefully ill fall right on by
To begin anew on the otherside.
A vagabond
O come on.
Jul 2015 · 706
An Endearing Conversation.
I can't promise you everything,
But I can promise you anything.

"You know you're a hopeless romantic."
I'd like to believe its simply semantics.
Jul 2015 · 452
Yellowing - by - Meridian
Dust off these pages.
You know acceptance comes in stages.
It's not a wave, it is a stream that trickles up your spine and branches out between.
Your chest that's caving.
And all the anger you've been saving.
O today I am a canvas in your hallway going yellow in the sun.
And when you're done with me,
O set me out to dry on your apartment balcony.
And I'll coagulate and you'll watch colors crack on fabric
And you'll love what you create
And you'll know right then that you're.
You're capable of good.
http://meridianohio.bandcamp.com/track/yellowing
I just can't stop listening to this! so I thought I'd share it's lyrics.
Jun 2015 · 444
anything (song lyrics)
My desperate attempt to avoid being bored.

My shallow attention isn't the problem.

My exception is sleep, not because I'm lonely, or sad.

My mind finds no meaning, nothing worth my time.


So my time is worthless too.

I don't need to be happy, I don't need to be anything.

So anything will do.


But that wasn't enough for you.

I couldn't answer you then, and I sure as hell can't now.

But I know that your response would be just as cold as this stone.


My self-aware state of mind has grown rusty.

My tell tale signs were erased.

My exception is sleep, not because I'm lonely, or sad.

My mind finds no meaning, nothing worth my time.


So my time is worthless too.

I don't need to be happy, I don't need to be anything at all.

So anything will do.


But I've grown tired of speaking.

I don't notice any reason for it.

But I don't notice much at all.
The point is people.
although I'm run down from time to time.
I know there is no answer in some steeple,
some book.
And I'm sure I'm missing something like all the beautiful creatures out there.
But right now, with the amount of evil.
The point is people.
There is far too much to be done, so I'm not concerned with personal accomplishment, because they are repeatable, but to experience your smile your laugh. your dreams, your love! that is something I will not find anywhere else.

I don't know how long this movie is,
but I'm already late to the show and I can't be bothered to pick up the details I missed and distract someone else.
So just know, while I'm not bootlegging any of this, every time I think of you all of this will play across my screen.
And I can't think of anything else worth my time.
Jun 2015 · 383
Side A, Track 3
You call me from a payphone just to let me know.
You couldn't make it.
But it came as no surprise.

Maybe to your mother.
Because your father wouldn't die.
Without you by his side, he kept on suffering.

Because you couldn't for a night.

I know we're going to fight,
I just don't have it in me.

To tell you that I'm right.

Look out for the ghosts of your mistakes.
They'll take the shape and place of your happiest,
Happiness.

It's the end of a year I'd rather not ever hear from again.
So I left you this note on your favorite cassette,
Maybe you'll stop following these backwards trends.
Song Lyrics
Most of my life has been performed upon a stage,
And every time an actor leaves they're quick to be replaced,
So all the understudies start assuming former names,
But overall it stays the same,

I hope that you will be the coda in my life,
A melody to sing that will return from time to time,
And even if I strain my voice on notes that are too high,
At least I gave it a try

I won't forget you, if your names cut from your face and glued
Over some new eyes, I know that it sounds kind of lonely but
Everything's going to be fine

I truly doubt we'll find the answer in a man,
Or reason from a choir up in heaven keeping tabs,
Cause even angels have to be confused by how we act,
You just keep coming back

There is a groove for every person that you've met,
Each track is on repeat and now and then a song will skip,
You'll try and move the needle to some new relationship,
But it won't sound that different,

I won't forget you, if your names cut from your face and glued
Over some new eyes, I know that it sounds kind of lonely but
Everything's going to be fine

I won't forget you, if your names cut from your face and glued
Over some new eyes, I know that it sounds kind of lonely but
I won't forget you, If your names cut from your face and glued
Over some new eyes, I know that it sounds kind of lonely but
Unfortunately, that's life.
This is not my own work. It was created by a musical artist I consider extremely talented.
http://theghostandthegrace.bandcamp.com/track/unfortunately-thats-life
May 2015 · 405
Directions
Are we who we thought we'd make it out to see?
Is this the crossing grounds?
That I've heard so much sound about?

Will we choose and never choose again?
Or will we loose and forever loose the chance?

Life seems so bleak laid out before us
constructed and deconstructed through a system that is,
Our legacy.

But whose to say,
What will come of us?

Direction, Direction, Direction.
But whose to say,
We need one...
May 2015 · 293
Qoute Me On This
Are you where you ought to be?

Because to me, its plain to see.

You're shorter than the stick you walk with.
I’m not stuck in the past
I’m holding onto the future
That I might not ever have
Except the dreams I can’t escape
From
Mid day is rough
Mid week is quite tough
Mid month I’m too drunk
And mid year
Is too much
But I’m hopeful at the least
Watching my good intentions drown.
Hold still I won’t be much longer,
Hold on, changing definitions for a changing state

Carry on carry me if you can
To the next dream
Keep it clean
Life never matches what we mean

Hold still I won’t be much longer,
Hold on, changing definitions for a changing state

I will not no no nooo
Absolutely never, fit your frame
Can it be that I’m the lonely one?
I just need something to lean on!

I guess I’m quite happy!

Hold still I won’t be much longer,
Hold on, how can this be I’m not angry

Carry on carry me if you can
To the next dream
Keep it mean
Maybe less distorted.

Hold still I won’t be much longer
Hold on, how can this be I’m not angry

I guess I’m quite happy!
May 2015 · 324
Response to a Past Mistake
You said to me:
                           "If I'm going to be alive
                            I might as well be incredible
                            I want to do more than just exist."

I couldn't say what I wanted to, so I wrote you a riddle that I'll never show and you'll never see:

I was born innocent and strong heart-ed
I grew up with a firm footing and quick grasp
I lived with determination and loved my love with pure certainty

Soon I imagine, my acclaimed wisdom will be passed along
As if that has any significance
And then after
I'll be dead.
It's finally over your draggin this out
This four leaf clover is burning without a
Doubt
Don't you worry there's no need to
Hurry
We can collect the ashes soon

*This Storm is the norm
I hope the sun shines through
Cause maybe maybe

It's finally over your draggin this out
This four leaf clover is burning without a
Doubt
Don't you worry there's no need to
Hurry
Your lucks already (run) out

And about this tomb it's ghost
Haunts these motion pictures that I
See the most
But these silly superstitions are a
Slave to the fame

Don't O don't don't wake me up
Tonight
All these midnight runs consist of
Cheap beer and wasted breath from (on)
cigarettes

And about this time I found
Such a profound phrase
Life is love we live we need it

Life is love we live we need it
Don't be so ashamed, why are you
Afraid
Of

{return to *}

Life is love we live we need it
Life is love we live we need it
Its such a grace, to hear three words
And to say it

It's finally over, your draggin this out
This four leaf clover is burning without a
Doubt
Don't you worry
( ) = second vocalist
May 2015 · 456
City Lights (song lyrics)
These city lights confine the sky
And as I try not to die I wonder if
These Stars can breath and carry me
Hand in Hand

And as I try not to die I'll remember why
These places amongst all these faces
Seem to fade in a day but at night O at night
These places and these faces are never to far but never much nearer
To hear her say
I just walked away so who's to say
That infamy is the same as fame

Its all just a **** game
And my shame only lasts until the same is felt and dealt
And as I try not to die I'll take the time
To find a reason to comply

These city lights confine the sky and
As I try not to die
I wonder if these stars can breath and
Carry me above these dreams,

I find it hard to believe these lies we lead,
Whats this and that and how intricate it all appears to me (to be)
So close yet so distant we all seem to
Be at least to me,
And as i try not to die I'll,
I'll remember why

These places amongst all these faces stop and fade away with the days
But at night O I sleep wide awake and
Anticipate when the day might break

And shatter through my mind,
But all these lies
Rewind me back to my first miss

And as I try not to die,
I'm inclined to try and wish that you
Wouldn't make a fist...
this is actually the first vocal part I ever wrote and I'm hopelessly enthralled with it so much that even the dreams I have of musical instrumentation for this piece aren't good enough! :(
The bottom line is.

You crossed all of the lines I drew.

There is no malice towards you.

I know people well enough to know better than to wait for an apology.

But I am my word, so...

I hope you can find me before your missiles do.

That's up to you.

I won't budge

If I am to be destroyed by you,

At my least and best I stayed true.
Apr 2015 · 366
Love To Me:
Yesterday I gave up music, because music gives me dreams and dreams don't let me sleep.
I got this constant reminder of the headache of waking up without a drink when I pack up for the day and head on my way.

And you all know that I probably wouldn't want it this way.
That is to say I never really wanted anything or maybe I wanted everything.

I’d like to fool myself into thinking that's the curse of great minds and spirits.
Those with attributes greater than they would ever find a need for.

But I prefer to maintain perspective on what’s suspected of me.
So everything becomes an elegant lie.
Even when it’s the truth.
Simply because it was born of deceit.

So is that its fate, can it not change, can I, not change.
Not that I’m asking,
I’d just like to know that when I lock a door I don't swallow the key.

Because I see myself as every ones lover and friend even when I have every twitching impulse against them.
It’s strange for me to meet myself half way between apathy and empathy for everything and nothing at you.

But because I’m told I can only truly enrich and deepen my soul infinitely and eternally with one.
Your lips are the canvas of which I must create my masterpiece of love and anything else.

Because that is the only way they will accept it.
Apr 2015 · 346
Death Darling
Death darling, I ain't ready to see you
I thought we had at least 10 more Months

And you got nothing new to say
I couldn’t bare to listen anyway

Death darling I ain't ready for you yet
You’re keeping me up far far too late
Holding me back, or maybe down

It’s too too easy, to forget that you’re not pulling my leg
This time.

Death darling, before we go on, or go home, set sail,
Don’t forget about the lights.
You know I can’t afford to leave them on.

Well I guess

Death darling, I can’t wait
To see our good ole boys again.
Apr 2015 · 415
Suspense O How Dense
What do you suppose people do in the afterlife when they want to die?

Even death can’t cure a fool

It’s not that they can’t
It’s just that they won’t

What do you suppose I could possibly say to break your arms and their grip on me?

Even death can’t cure a fool,
You ***** and moan that life isn’t fair, there’s no warning on the label no one’s aware.

It’s not that they can’t
It’s just that they won’t

Break my bones one by one, I suppose soon I’ll probably collapse like that old bridge

Save you some trouble,
O how convenient everything you’ve ever said
Even death can’t cure a fool

Burn it down and change your face
Here’s to hoping there is no regrets

A riot in heaven creates ******* hell

It’s not that they can’t
It’s just that they won’t

It’s really not that hard

But it might **** you
It might **** you
It might **** you

BUT I’M WILLING TO TAKE THAT CHANCE

Just apologize
At least I could fight it,

I yelled this out loud last time no one was around
And to give you some frame of reference

You pull ******* from your *** to make it easier to convince yourself And others that what you did was ok

And I don’t know if I’m more disappointed in you or the fact that no
One has the moral backbone to tell you that you just **** yourself

It’s not like we can’t smell you

I’m across a crowded room and I can feel my heart crack with each step you take
And I’m not sure if it’s worse when those steps lead away or come near and stay

It’s not easy for me to allow myself to step off the track of apathy I’ve disguised as rationality, but O my god does my blood boil and time freeze whenever you come around physically or mentally.

I really don’t have anything more to say although I wish I did,
But you’d probably twist it around and around. So thank you for the anxiety, it gives me a cold reality check every time I nearly die,

But it seems no one accepts checks anymore, it makes me feel outdated, like hate in a pacifist,
I don’t do anything.

So, similar to a grain of sand in the ocean I barely can hear it scratch the bottom of my throat.

I wish I had cancer.
Apr 2015 · 298
Noah James
And I called you
And I named you son
I cut the cord, I cut the cord

And I held you so afraid
And I prepared myself for everything
Except this

And I called you
And I named you son
I cut the cord, I cut the cord

And I held you so afraid
And I'm sorry child
I can't give you anything

I'm sorry child
I don't want to walk away
I'm sorry

I'm sorry

Noah James
While I don't like to write about personal experience. This particular poem could be considered a photograph of a portion of my life.
Apr 2015 · 384
Out Of Phase
I miss the simple times,
But I'll embrace these crippled times.
I miss her dimples and the time she ran away with,
And I'll slip by these overwhelming lies to untie the knots within.
I miss the swing in my step,
But I'll face the facts, I'm not one to fall in step.
Apr 2015 · 1.1k
White Rose (Song Lyrics)
White rose, stained and torn by its own thorns
The beauty was only a ploy,
to,
get in real close with your second hand smoke
of death,
sin,
wine and the gin that we pour down our throats without thinking this could be the end,
now,
white rose, stained and torn by its own thorns
What was your plan besides faking a stand to the
last,
man,
I’ve ever met was ashamed by the mess that you care to dress as a
White rose, stained and torn by its own thorns
how,
could you expect to have something to miss when you steal every kiss
from their lips filled with poisonous wishes
dear sister dear dear sister you know its ok to come home I know
that it’s hard to see in the dark, but watch where you
step,
it,
could be a trap they set,
to,
hold you back down
so,
White rose, stained and torn by its own thorns
you’ll stay, and slowly wither away.
I don’t have any special words today,
Got nothing clever to say.

I wonder if your sun sets the same
Mine tends to hang, like an awful goodbye.

Lost touch with conversation,
Cut ties with communication.

Most the letters were lost,
or arrived to far too late.

I wonder if your sun sets the same,
Mine tends to hang, like an awful goodbye.

I wonder if you know,
I wonder if it matters.

what I don’t know,
or can’t say.
Apr 2015 · 212
Standing Where You Fell
If you were me, and I was you
Wouldn't we be right here
I can’t quite seem to catch my breath,
You wouldn't leave me this way right?

If you were me, and I was you
I can’t see what you’re so afraid of in that mirror
You wouldn't believe what I heard today
So I ask you please

If you were me, and I was you
Wouldn't we see so clear,
All that we fear, and brings us to tears
Like growing old without a soul to share

If you were me, and I was you
I’d bring you right down, back from the clouds
That swept you away from my embrace
And back to my arms, I hope you would stay

If you were me, and I was you
At least I'd be the one to leave
And head right down to what I deserve
So you could be free to love yourself
More than you showed in that awful last step.
Apr 2015 · 572
Overwhelmed
I'm under the impression
I'm under the impression
That everything is in suspension
I'm sliding on home trying to avoid the issue
I think I'm going crazy, I know I'm going crazy
hearing all your opinions,
I wasn't really happy
I wasn't really happy
You'll win the battle, but you lose us the war
I'm under the impression
I'm under the impression
that this subtle depression will subside in the morning
I wasn't really happy?
dealing with losing someone you love is a horrifyingly miserable experience that no advice can help as much as a hug.

(I wrote this when I was probably 14 or 15, and I've only made a slight edit in the poem to adjust its meaning to more appropriately fit my morals, that being of which I believe that affection is a choice, love is a force you can not ever control. You either do or you never did/haven't yet loved the individual, there is no in-between, love can not be lost just neglected and abandoned.)
The sound from your lips,
Their not so innocent,
They crave to be kissed.
I bet you won’t miss me much.

You spin on a dime,
Not taking your time,
To let it sink in, to let it set in,
The medicine the medicine,
O what a sin.

And from such a distance, you seem so sad,
So why are you mad?

You shouldn't mingle when your not single.

Didn't you learn from your dad?
Did you think I deserved the things I shouldn't have heard?

The sound from your lips,
Their not so innocent,
They crave to be kissed.
I bet you won’t miss me much...
While I promptly refuse to allow a poor situation to destroy my commitment or image of an individual, once somethings become a habit I can understand why and how someone can want to turn their back on theirs.
Mar 2015 · 305
Motion
Its been a good day I'd say

But that notion of motion in the back of my head

Keeps tracking the hours as they fall like towers

Around my head, and in my bed there's no sleep

As the sweeping hands of the grandfather clock

All but weep for me.
The Rotation:

I’m hardly awake in these passing scenes. Each breath I take seems a moment too late to catch my rest, and as I debate what really relates to these hidden dreams behind the sky and what’s within my own eyes. There’s not too much to say as I spiral from the clouds straight to the sound of rushing water and fluid memories they don’t quite flow as softly as they should. And I’m hardly awake in these glazed over days but their value still remains and all I can hope to make is a smile on the clock that just keeps ticking away as I gravitate towards the moon but soon That won’t be too far away and I can barely see my life from here and I’m sure it’s what it appears to be but so suddenly my mind drops and climbs these endless mountains chasing the wind head on, Two steps forward four steps backwards but either way I’ll arrive to the other side of this great circle. And what should the path matter to the destination and why should the visit be all that remains.

Is it so strange to speak so softly to a lion or roar so loud to another, whom other then you've loved? But that’s what I witness and that’s what I hate, but I’m hardly awake to change a fate that drips on down from the rooftops filthy and diseased, as far as some perceive it. Encouragement no longer creates the convinced, but furthers the doubt and in-circles the back of my eye lids as every narrow hallway fails to take us to broader horizons. And what should the path matter to the destination and why should the visit be all that we remember.

I’m at the point where I should have something to say or show for it, but I do believe I’m entirely over it. Left as empty as I began and it’s getting hard to stand. But the depths have not quite got their man, as I’d like to think I’m hatching a plan from these run down streets to the corner of the ring I continually find myself in. So let’s begin another round around this town I’ll take you to it, a place where I once could sleep. But that’s been long since buried in the rubble floating through these skies slowly homing in on me a little weaker then gravity.

As if only to delay and antagonize me further. These rumbles keep finding new fights. And I feel no shame because there isn't much blame for me to claim, but what if I could have. I often stray and stay hidden away within myself and when asked about it all I just can’t seem to stop the fall of these footsteps when they slowly lead away and its not to long after I find beauty in this exotic normality plainly seen but entirely hidden sifting through this trouble floating through my memories slowly homing in on me a little weaker then gravity.

A Wandering Eye:

And I've lied to you, I do believe in love, it’s just never enough.
These hands I swear have worked to long and not to hard. But the earth beneath my feet moves to rapidly, and the scenery keeps my plans far from my own hands. And the distant lands I’d like to see seem to keep growing further away, but there’s no end to my resolve. And dignity no longer holds its own as what I see around me limits the prospect of my soul, as one spoiled drop contaminates the rest, and also the best.

These quiet streets, they whisper around me, about the winter nights I wander on by. I’m not searching for any signs, just wondering where my home has gone.
I won’t speak about love, nor does love speak of me. It’s not that I've given up, it’s only that I dream much more hopeful,
And I know there’s only a few more years left for all of this. Will she love me then? This city she’s leaving and I’m swept under the rug wondering where my family of friends may be. I play these perfect futures like feature films and guard them like a dragon its treasure against these awful waves of grim but inevitably I fail, I can no longer hold onto these childish fantasies seeing the mold growing over them all. And it limits the prospect of my soul, as one soiled word contaminates the rest, and also the best.

The Devils soul is not deep enough to haunt these vivid dreams maybe he’ll find a way to force his own hand straight through my comfort zone. And pull me on back to these treacherous shoals were I may run aground. But I’m not sounding any alarm at least these abandoned islands leave me free. I hear so often that a man who views the world the same in his youth as he does in his commanding age has wasted all his time. But should you not yearn to be correct from the beginning? Are we all simply due to inevitable and wasteful change of thought. Are my actions yesterday of less value to my mind of tomorrow? What about the stars I used to gaze so deeply into will I only see them through a haze of emptied and defeated dreams? These roller coaster rhymes don’t consistently connect, and I’m wondering where the actuality of reality comes into play. When all I realize is that I feel so young although I am old in heart.

And I don’t mind the rain it helps wash away the stains I've left around myself. But when you’re fooling everyone to be a simple man it’s hard to care for the land that keeps you standing. And I still only dream of escape from the future I’m building, this island paradise to most now becomes my prison, and the gate keeper has long since passed without relieving his keys. But every time I punch these concrete walls my blood soaks through their roots and seems to weaken them for a moment, but I’m to bruised to try again, I’d prefer to sit and pretend I’m starving, watching what I could or couldn't have slowly become harder to grasp. Like the spoon they now force feed me with. I’m a man but feel no stronger than a language-less child. Unable to properly voice my will. And though I seem so young I am old in soul.

Anxiety always seems like a new experience never the same as it was. My body trembles at the quakes of its most powerful moments, and the increasing variety of my own created stress presses heavily down around me as if I’m sinking in the darkest depths, but I only feel my heart crushing and my lungs panicking, desperate and tear driven to find an end, where my head can rest. I can no longer follow these maps around they seem so out of date and I’m so out of place, this concoction of emotions keeps changing and I can’t keep up with the ingredients. These small talks are drawn much further out to what I need them to be but only within my head, and whoever was lying beside it in my bed never got much through it. And I don’t feel there was much to it.

It seems inspiration escapes me, I used to believe there was a fine line between hatred and depression but I more often find they collide under the pressure of a day better to stay outside of my head. Waterfalls are seen as beautiful, awe inspiring, and powerful. But as I look at those rushing tears dashed against so many rocks, all I see is the loneliness of a river by name forced to a path it can only bend so far. And I forgot where I was going with all this, and I’m not sure that it matters since the words I spatter only travel so far when you’re across the world. And these thoughts are minimized to avoid regret. I often stumble into traffic unaware nor do I care that I’m only living in my head, and whoever was screaming through it, didn't stick to it, And I don’t feel they couldn't do it.

Simple is hard:

I always know when the hour passes but almost never when the moment will last. And running through this haze I seem to have lost my place in the race, but what were the stakes. I can’t break this pace as I’m marching steadily on trying to avoid these shakes from the earthquakes that tremble along with me. In my latest dream I sank my flesh into the fangs of a nightmare where I’m at that point when you can’t pay attention to a song anymore, you hear the theme and scream for the melody but it always ends so suddenly in a foggy daze and you can’t recall the names or why they ever mattered.

Everything is broken, there were so many other words here. But just like everything else they were shattered and lost, and left me tattered, torn, and here. Things that were supposed to rhythm and make sense of all this, things I know are there in my brain but I can no longer reach them, they are such a blur, an outline at best. This paragraph once mentioned the daze of a man approaching the plate of life without a single clue of what team he's on nor does the crowd recognize the numbers on his jersey. It related to the haziness mentioned before but no more, it is dead just like every single part of what I think is my soul that I've poured into this, although enough of its memory remains to tease me with encouragement to try again. I apologize that I have failed to bring my words to you in one piece, they are still so fragmented. I can't even form a rhythm, I used to at the drop of a dime, and that’s the best I can come up with.

I wanted to continue, I wanted this to never end, like the thoughts of love and truth that we all so desperately chase. But we know all too well that everything is circumstantial. And I suppose my never ending hunt for the truth is an uphill struggle against the landslide of change that in itself is the only guarantee of this limited thing called existence, a hegemonic existence at that.
This poem was originally going to be a life long poem where I added a few sentences every week, but as fate would have it. My computer crashed several times in  row and I lost a page or two and could only remember so much of it. So I wrote the last page in reflection of that event and decided that was a perfect fitting for the end of a self acclaimed master piece.
I hope you enjoyed it! I've never gotten the chance to perform this poem.
Mar 2015 · 327
Great Grand Father
Grand father soon i hope to be half the man you were
Grand father please keep on watching over me

Stone cold bones and a beaten heart could never stop me
From teaching you the truth. Grand father said,

And Grand father soon,
I hope to understand how to be half the man you are.
Mar 2015 · 266
I Must Write
What does a poet do when he puts down the pen?
Is there nothing left to amend or tend?
And to what end do his words escape him?
This mighty tool has been the door to many a soul and mind.
Dare it ever be repressed.
I fear my bones shall quake to dust in the wake of mental captivity.
Mar 2015 · 330
Untitled
This suspicion is such a foul contradiction

And my addictions there's no prescriptions

This tradition is just a competition

And my disposition has begun its demolition

This prediction is of extinction
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