Warning this poem is not light hearted and deals with feelings of abandonment and the topic of the death of an animal. I am sure there are plenty of other happy poems to read if you're not feeling up to that. Just wanted to give you a fair warning. **

Gasping. The doe.

I watched her bright brown eyes,
noted the dirt and blood matted
in her frosty fur,
copper and frothy breath,
her eyes full and panicked,
she had been crushed and spindled by my
friend's car,  
breathing heavy gasps,
escaping clouds like souls,
she lay in sharp white air,
fully aware,
trying to find a breath,
through the brokenness and despair.

I turned away and could not look,
as my friend,
finished her with his knife,
so that she would not suffer more.

Today, I feel as though I am
the car, dented, old lopsided
panels,
dented gray door,
and I am also the deer,
and my whole life,
has been a
crushing force,
of filth
and garbage,
and I see myself gasping,
wishing for someone to be here,
thinking that someone
should love me,
{not just partially}
lying in the snow,
copper from my punctured heart,
crimson upon my lips,
crushed by every flake that falls,
as they drive past,
oblivious and unaware,
that I even exist.
Praying that this suffering won't last,
someone will discover that I am
here.

Someone should love me.
Someone should be here.
Someone should near.