Intellectual stimulation* from a twisted mind
Bringing life to the *insanity I tried to hide
Cracking whips to break the chains, feeling death drip from my veins
Pouring poison down the drain from infections inside
Chasing rumors through the sewers, lost in tunnels of depravity; God's the only viewer but this show's not quite reality
Gravity scraped knuckles with me all the way down
A brute stuck in a boot loop asking me to drown
These restarts after crashes turned my synapses to ashes
Now I can't feel the rats in my cyber cerebral casket
Dead in the head and strapped into my bed
I dug at my wrists until I saw red
The doctors applauded at everything the gauze did
It still couldnt stop it *so on it bled

You blend with shadows*
          And the cracks in sidewalks
                Brittle grime trickling down your hand
       You catch each bit between forefinger and thumb
    And turn them all into tiny broken men
           Stench streaming in smoke like ribbons
               Your skin is icicle cold
      But the smell ignites the sensory fears of those you draw close
Shattered skull love songs emit from your bones
    Calling all sinners to you to atone

You are the blackest person I know.
Not black by skin tone,
     **BUT BLACK BY SOUL.

Who did the *****?
I'm wanting to know
             Was it Chrysta or Alex
   Or someone unknown?
            27 ***** chilled my spine to the bone
                  I've seen less ***** on ***** sites that I surf when alone

        *Evidence was prevalent at the High School and the class fool was pinned as the guy
           Peter and Sam then planned to document everything to figure out who and why

          I won't spoil specifics cause that wouldn't be slick
     I'll let you peruse through a plot so thick
       Keep your eyes open watch for clues in the mix
       And ask yourself this question:

         **Who Did The *****?

I had a dream in the middle of the day
          About a boy with springs where his legs should have been
        He jumped so high he got tangled in barbwire clouds
             And it rained blood and viscera for a month

Breathe each breath as if you are inhaling the sunrise of a new day**
            Possibility filling your lungs
        Every cell in your body
Dancing to the rhythm of a fresh start.

I have been, I am and I will be documenting the complexities that run rampant within.

It’d be easier if my mind and heart spoke
the same language. Most times they’re in conflict.

So I’ll cope in the best way I know how.
I’ll keep posting...

Because no amount of sentences...
Can succinctly form the verses that fully capture what I see and think.

No amount of metaphors...
Can successfully mask and satisfy what I truly feel.

No amount of poems...
Can accurately draft the blueprint of what and why I am.

Do forgive me for I have fallen far and deep. And for the umpteenth time, I am looking for that window or door so that I could see and taste purpose again.

So please bear with me...
There will be more to come as I indulge in my quest for equilibrium.



Yours in ink,

ryn

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