I know what I've done.
What the pauses are I've caused.
An still I cause more.
For my disappointment shows no flaws.
Each momental pause causes more pain than I never proceeded to mean to gain.
To the outside looking in I look fine "I'm surviving".
I try drugs. love and self escape.
Just to end up in the same place.
Suffering pain I can't take.
Was I meant for this or a cruel mistake.
Can I take pace on a path where I don't hate the sight of own face.
Replace the one who looks back the one with blue eyes not black and opaque.
Replace the pain and disgrace that peers back to my skin of grey drawn in cheeks
With veins that drugs leak from,
My tourniquet is the only thing that brings me back to norm.
Or should I say numb.
I'm sick!
Sick of holding on one more ml and soon I'm gone.
Every body's looking at my life wondering where they went wrong how they regret how we never got on another soul or ashes blowing out in the sun.

I walk my life within endless dreams.
I float along like silence streams
I'm and out of all my dreams.
With every wave my thoughts escape.

Up and up and away with me.
My tears run away with me.
I walk my life within my dream.
I lose my mind "someone please drown me".
My pains and hate surround me.

In and out I flea my life. Till my life is sea and side.
I hope from source to main to sea.
I hope I can find inner-peace.
My voices is warm but my grip is cold.
My mind is weak. "Thoughts of social and serial"
My life longs achievements of life longs of bleak my streams run and feed to plants and meat I run I run within my dream the lonely life of a psychotic stream

She moves like the wind.
On every flow. "I float the wind with my every being".

I'm clutching to change with every weather.

I'm I grasping to life.
like I never thought was ever possible.
I'm holding on.
I'm never letting go.

When I can fly away
I will fly so high.
Apon the wind with every blow.
By the trees of green and flowers of white and pink.
I will be flying so high with the clouds around me.
I'll be flying so high there's no looking back and down from me.
Above the houses so high.
That of skyscrapers and until the wind falls by my brothers and sisters around me.
One falling leaf
"That was me"

I'm flying "take me away"
I'm flying "if only for the day"
I'm crying "for goodness sake"
I'm crying " for everything I dreamed of".

Take me away"I need love for my heart to feel pain".
Take me away " to a place where I can escape".

Take me to a place "Where my life is not based on survival for someone else's fate".
Take me to a place "where my life is not for goodness sake".


I'm flying "take me away".
I'm flying "take me to a place where my life was never a mistake.

Take me away "I need to fight".
Take me away "to a place where my sanity is not base on my everyday life".

I'm taking off "i need your touch".
"Even when your here"
I never feel that's enough.
"I need you here"
I need your love.
Now your gone I search for answers in piles of drunk nights of love.
I guess you could say we're out of touch.

I need you here!!
I long for your touch.
I can honestly say I miss your love.

I can hear her calling
That of her destiny.

She comforts me in my slumber so deep.

She loves me she hates me.
But for me she don't care?
I can hear her calling me begging that I let go.

I need her here but for me can't show.
I'm going back to dreaming because I can't let go.


Dsmith