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She loves being alone, she really does.
Does one truly enjoy solitude?
A word accompanied by such a dreadful, negative connotation?
She always claimed to be a loner by choice,
but was she really?
Did she really have a choice?
Or was it simply a mutual understanding,
that she was not wanted or cared for?
Alienation is simply a form of self-defence.
She shut her doors to save herself.
She loves being alone, she really does.
 Jun 2015 darling iridescence
N
There's someone out there who will one day make you believe that the stars have been trying to find a way to spell out your name. They will convince you that they have asked the flowers to bloom where they're not supposed to so it's easier for you to pick them. There's someone out there who will ask the sun to kiss your skin while they're building up the courage to. They will keep their hands tucked in the pockets of their jeans to contain them from shaking but they will hold you close during those nights when your body can't stop. Someone out there will watch you watch the moon and fall in love with the color of your eyes when they're lit up with the white glow. Their voice will be as soothing as a little creek and their smile will never fade like a sky that's always clear. Someone out there is hoping that your fingers will replace the gap between theirs and that your face fits well in the palm of their hands. Someone out there will make you realize that your heart has never been a home for love before, that the vacancy is only a void for their love to fill. Someone out their is waiting for you. They're looking for you in busy streets, crowded coffee shops and filled churches. They're hoping you don't settle until they find you.

Please, don't settle until I find you.
recoil in agony
remembering seeing you
standing in the rain
cryingtearsstainedmascara
covering my world with anger
myfistsclenchedwantingtostrangle
him you black and so blue
you defending him
the rain fell for days
in stupid bursts of putrid

the curtains pulled
on all the world black
the heavens cried the grass leaned over in brown agony
the evergreen tree lost all it's needles
the squirrels stopped gathering
for you
give me
ten minutes
to talk
will you girl
 Jun 2015 darling iridescence
N
I want to form cities on my tongue, built up with all the beautiful things I've never said to you. The people would be clothed in white, and the skyscrapers would kiss my palette. I would take you to sit on the park benches, where fingernails have indented the wood and first kiss dates were carved into the backrest. I would walk you down the sidewalk, made up of all the unspoken "I miss you's" and let you pick flowers that have bloomed in the cracks between the pavement. I would show you the beauty in the darkness of empty alleyways, I would hold your hand on the edge of the tallest bridge. I would kiss you in front of the world, and shout my love for you into the void.
There are so many words you have never heard. So many times my lips have articulated "I love you" but never followed with a sound to resonate it. Maybe that's why we're not in the city. Maybe that's why you're at the other end of the room starring at walls, waiting for them to cave in and fill the silence. We always wanted more than this, but I have this fear of leaving and you have a fear of losing what was never yours. I hope I can show you the city someday, maybe you'll see my love for you clearly under bright lights. But until then, I'm trying to find it in me to get my tongue untied.
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