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Jun 2020 · 133
Stable
mel Jun 2020
I know who I love
I don't care that you don't approve
I know who I want to be
I don't care what you think
I know who I am
I don't care about you
I know I'm stable
I don't care if you try to change me
Good luck
I don't know what has compelled me to start writing again but I hope you enjoy, or not, I really don't care if you don't like my writing.
Jun 2020 · 137
My Pairs
mel Jun 2020
Broken glass
Broken me
Open bottle
Open me
Watching monsters
Watching me
Looking glass
Looking me
Solid mask
Solid me
Wishing star
Wishing me
Calling out
Calling me
Waiting patiently
Waiting me
Closing eyes
Closing me
Dreaming big
Dreaming me
Inside pain
Inside me
Sleeping dark
Sleeping me
Holding you
Holding me
Loving me
Loving you
As someone with ADHD writing is a bit difficult, and this might not make sense to you but up here *taps head* it makes perfect sense
Jun 2020 · 164
Swallow
mel Jun 2020
Muddled dreams of chaos and oblivion
Wake up, feel the breeze from the window
Open the bottle, swallow your feelings
Drown the colour in grey
Put on a smile, put on your mask
Go to the table and eat
The motions of the day go by
I’m still typing onto a blank slate
With a blank stare
Empty heart
I can feel my mask breaking
Keep up the act
Smile and push on
Swallow your feelings
Put the plates into their places
In the sanctuary the mask falls
The smile is gone
Time for another trivial day of life
Haphazardly put on the mask
I'm just tired
I'm fine
Don't worry please
Clean and walk
The melody drifts into my ears
At last, a true smile
Through the door, the chains are off
The boundless energy is out and gone
Open the bottle
Swallow your feelings
The darkness is an empty void
I fear this loneliness
Me and the dark aren't so different
Suppressed
Rest eludes me
Does even my sleep hate me
Smile and cry
Consumed by exhaustion
Collapse into nothingness
Swallow the pills, they keep you normal
Swallow your feelings
Until you can't eat any more
Until you break again
Until this hell is over
So put on a mask
Swallow the pills
Smile and laugh
Until we repeat it all again tomorrow
I hope that nobody worries about me, I'm fine and poetry is one of the best ways to get it out.
Feb 2019 · 19.5k
Valentines
mel Feb 2019
Love is fake
Romance is a lie
I will be alone
Until the day I die
I'm always going to be alone.
Jan 2019 · 346
It follows
mel Jan 2019
It follows me through the shadows
Out of the corner of my eye
An unseen monster
I can't escape it



Well **** it was just my cat nvm
Jan 2019 · 291
Useless Dreams
mel Jan 2019
When I close my eyes
Sometimes I dream

When Mom wasn't alone
When she was happy
Where I wasn't alone
When I was happy

When she said yes instead of no
Where I wouldn't be alone anymore

But that's just a dream

The heartache isn't

It hurts so much

Why didn't she choose me?
Why?
Jan 2019 · 168
I don't need
mel Jan 2019
The mask is off
Pity
That's what you gave me
You treat me like glass
I'm not broken

The mask is on
Normal
That's what you are
You talk to me without sadness
I'm not broken

I don't need your pity
It's what pushed me over the edge
Jan 2019 · 194
Painted Smiles
mel Jan 2019
The mask is chipped
The painted smile fades
The eyes are covered
The tears are hidden
The mouth is shut
The cries are muffled

My smiles are fake
My mask is tight

And it won't come off
Those who wear masks
Know when a smile is fake
Jan 2019 · 349
Don't Deserve
mel Jan 2019
I try to sleep
I don't deserve it
I try to eat
I don't deserve it
I try to speak
I don't deserve it

I can see their pain
They don't deserve this
I did this to them
They don't deserve this

I watch the blade
I deserve this
I feel the pain
I deserve this

Pain is all I need
Jan 2019 · 158
In My Eyes
mel Jan 2019
If you saw my eyes
You would know what I am
I'm broken
I'm scarred
I'm scared
I'm losing myself
I'm all alone
If you saw...
Jan 2019 · 200
Empty
mel Jan 2019
It's all I feel
Just, empty
My smile is fake
The tears are real
My laugh is hollow
My love is void
Just empty
It's all I feel
It makes me wonder
Are you empty too?
It's all I feel.
Jan 2019 · 154
This
mel Jan 2019
My eyes are so heavy
The monster is wide awake
I can hardly move
Its tail lashes back and forth
My head hurts so much
The claws are wrapped around me
My stomach is so empty
The monster is full
This  feeling inside
The monster calls to me
This monster inside
No
This monster that I am
It lives with me
It can die with me
I can hardly stay awake
It's getting tired
My body won't move
It's getting slower
The hunger is so painful
It's getting hungry
The feeling inside
It's pulling me in
But the monster won't let it
This monster that I am
No
This monster that we are
Maybe it isn't so bad
Just maybe
Maybe, just maybe...
Oct 2018 · 123
School
mel Oct 2018
I just wanna sleep
I can't focus
The words in my head swirl and dance
The teacher keeps talking
I keep drawing
When the bell rings the cycle restarts
I'm stuck in hell once again
... Why did I write this?
Oct 2018 · 101
This is who I am
mel Oct 2018
What we say should not define us
What we do should not define us
But it does
The world hates those who differ
The world hates who we are
I fell in love with someone I shouldn't
I am not defined by who I love
I am not defined by what I say
I am not defined by how I act
I am Me
You are You
This is who we are
This is who I am
This is how I feel about how the world judges people like me. we are who we are, and the world can't stop us.
Jun 2018 · 150
A Friend at Last
mel Jun 2018
When I was alone
You were there
When I was down
You lifted me up
When i was crying
You shed tears with me
When I was in the dark
You showed me the path
When I held the knife
You stopped my hand
When I looked up
You smiled
When I was speechless
You said what I couldn't
When I found you
I had a treasure I could hold
When I found you
I had my reason to carry on
Thank you
This is a short poem I made saying how I feel about my best friend, who wrote a poem called Flowers so I could feel like I had someone to depend on.
Jun 2018 · 131
Boredom
mel Jun 2018
Being Bored
Like an opportunity
To create something new
Boredom can be a good friend
Or cause you to lose your mind
A gift of creation
A curse of destruction
All being bored does
Is make words in your head
Mess with your brain
Boredom can bless us
Boredom can destroy us
Creating and destroying
Eventually
Everything gets boring
Nothing can escape boredom
Jun 2018 · 120
What would you do
mel Jun 2018
What would you do
If I slid the knife across my skin
What would you say
If I said goodbye
Who would you tell
If I left forever
Who would you trust
If I was gone
Where would you go
If I drifted off the path
Who would you love
If I left you behind
What would you do
If we never crossed paths first
When would you leave
If I left without a word
When would we meet again
If we both strayed from the path
Where would we be
If we left together
Jun 2018 · 124
Touch the Sky
mel Jun 2018
Cool air
Clouds so fair
Rocky ridges
Trees as bridges
Sunset sky
Baby birds fly
Lakes reflecting
People connecting
Mountains so high
They touch the sky
Jun 2018 · 123
Just one Moment
mel Jun 2018
If only I had a moment
To tell you how I feel
If only I had a moment
To find the words
If only I had a moment
To speak my mind
If only I had a moment
To be beside you again
If only I had a moment
To think about my choice
If only I had a moment
To stop myself
If only I had a moment
To stay strong
If only I had a moment
To say what I needed to
If only I had a moment
To sing our song
If only I had a moment
To watch the sky with you again
If only I had a moment
To stand up
If only I had a moment
To be brave
If only I had a moment
To stop the blade
If only I had a moment
To say goodbye
If only I had a moment
Just one moment
before I died
May 2018 · 114
Don't Speak
mel May 2018
Hush there
Can't you hear it
Crying drifting through the air
Shouts and cries woven together like knit
Scarlet tears
Glassy blade
Hiding for years
The price she paid
Her shame and sorrow
Pressed down hidden from sight
Will she wake morrow?
Will she escape in the night
So don't speak
What you say will be engraved in stone
Words cut from inside
Sharp enough to break bone
Words make them hide
You could save lives
Be kind
Or you could be the one
Tying their binds
And handing them the knives
May 2018 · 120
Please Forget
mel May 2018
Please forget me
Nobody cares
Let me be
Aren't you aware?
Life is pointless
Wander around mindless

So please forget
Leave me alone
The steel cuts deep to my bone
A scarlet drop
I can't stop
The sharp sting
The ground I'll be colouring

The rope so tight
I'll go in the night
The stars so silver
A small shiver
Pull out the gun
One pull, and it's done
Please forget
My future is set

The monster inside
Forcing me to hide
It's time, it bides
Waiting until I’ve died

Please forget
I've been caught in it's net
Walking up the stairs
I've told you, nobody cares
Running away from the hating glares

So please forget me
Leave me be
I won't be safe
I'll lead you into the strafe
Please leave me be
Run away, flee
I won't tell another lie
So please leave me
Alone to die

— The End —