when I run or walk..
in the day or night.
I smile toward the sky..
I sometimes wave..
one day I will get to watch my life.. to see me acknowledge myself from this life before the other..
I smile at the thought of it..
when I become that star I gaze at..

"Has poetry saved lives?"
   Maybe.
"How would you know?"
   I don't.
"Then why even answer?"
   I have hope.
"Hope for what?"
   Hope that it hasn't.
"Oh."

I said your name and you barely turned around
When you saw me, you looked away
and put on a little frown
What is it? Can you tell I'm (gay?)
Or are you just ******, or down?
I love you far too much to see you this way
But maybe it's not you, it's me
The beautiful dances we used to execute
Were not what they will be
I'm not sure what's going on with you
You avert your eyes and don't reach or conclude,
Tarry a bit too short, dislike spending time,
I won't pretend I'm anyone else's but mine.
The light in your eyes, what's made them see and lose?
Is it me you hate?
Is there nothing I can do?

Lying down,
In a haze,
In a daze
For days and days

Take this pill,
Don't drown,
Head is spinning
Round and round

Throwing shoes
Swigging gin
Win or lose
Again and again

leap of faith
hold your breath
today's the day for
love and death

I am a part of a fallen generation.
The generation that takes pride in their pain.
We don't let it stray too far, we keep it just at bay.
It is very common to have hatred for ourselves more than others.
People are wishing to be dead because the world is too heavy for our fragile shoulders.
Constant headaches because our heads are expanding at a rapid rate
and we will try to stand tall no matter how much our knees quake.
There is no gain without pain or so they told us.
See we've grown accustomed to the constant nagging of our sub conscious desires, a raging battle between reasons to live and reasons to expire.

*-c.a.